Regaining the choice to drink or not.

[avaneesh912]

Yesterday at our home group meeting, a woman profusely appologized after picking up the desired chip after a relapse. Her understanding is that she should have called her sponsor before the first drink. After the meeting I had a word with her. It was very constructive. I said she doesn't have to appologize and she drank because she had no power (choice). If she did she would have called her sponsor. For which she said did call when the urge was mild, she went to the kitchen and had a word with the sponsor but few minutes later the urge was overwhelming, her mind said, if she can mix alcoholic wine with the non-alocholic wine she had carried with her it will be ok. Another situation i remember there was a woman who couldn't overcome the desire, she went and bought a vodka bottle but after coming home she had a moment of clarity what she did was wrong. She dumped the bottle in a garbage canister and was proud about her act. I go oh no! Few minutes later she pulled the bottle out and drank and was absent for few days on the board. I only think of the term pecular mental twists that precedes the first drink of the spree. The car salesman story and fred the accountant story in the chapter more about alcoholism are there to illustate this phenomneon of insanity just prior to taking that first drink.

[D'oh]

We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it
more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.

pg32

And as Dr. Paul O. said it,

"The minute I question a Person, Place or Thing, I think unacceptable, is the minute I question my Higher Power, and think I know better than" (or something like that)

Everything happens for a reason in His World

[avaneesh912]

So even at my worst, I could still make the choice to drink or not, I just couldn't make sane ones. Less than two weeks after the seizure, I made the insane choice to drink again.

I like what Eckhart writes about choice in the book "Power of now":

The Power To Choose
What about all those people who, it seems, actually want to suffer? I have a friend whose partner is physically abusive toward her, and her previous relationship was of a similar kind. Why does she choose such men, and why is she refusing to get out of that situation now? Why do so many people actually choose pain?
I know that the word choose is a favorite New Age term, but it isn't entirely accurate in this context. It is misleading to say that somebody "chose" a dysfunctional relationship or any other negative situation in his or her life. Choice implies consciousness - a high degree of consciousness. Without it, you have no choice. Choice begins the moment you disidentify from the mind and its conditioned patterns, the moment you become present. Until you reach that point, you are unconscious, spiritually speaking. This means that you are compelled to think, feel, and act in certain ways according to the conditioning of your mind. That is why Jesus said: "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." This is not related to intelligence in the conventional sense of the word. I have met many highly intelligent and educated people who were also completely unconscious, which is to say completely identified with their mind. In fact, if mental development and increasedknowledge are not counterbalanced by a corresponding growth in consciousness, the potential for unhappiness and disaster is very great. Your friend is stuck in a relationship with an abusive partner, and not for the first time. Why? No choice.

[PaigeB]

Choice implies consciousness - a high degree of consciousness.

When I learn my defects of character and find out my old reactions to situations, I am much more likely to be able to make a choice between the way I always did things (unconsciously) to making a choice to do things I find more in line with (higher) moral and values.

Nov. 4 Daily Reflection talks about page 98 of the 12 & 12:
. . . when they self-examination, meditation and prayer are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life.

Practice takes a while. Then I revert to my old ways (easy, thought-less survival skills) until I become aware again and the circle goes and changes and gets better, but almost always I will have moments where I return to blissful un-caring and a brain that is "asleep".

[Haapala]

That is a powerful story. It shows just how strong the power of addiction can be, and how hard it is to make the choice to stay sober. It also shows how recovery can help you regain the ability to make sane choices about whether to drink or not. It is inspiring to see how you were able to take back control and make the choice to stay sober. Thank you for sharing your story.

[child of God]

We have recovered after having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps. Assuming i am spiritually fit, i can do all sorts of things, provided my motives are good. I can go into a place that drinks are served and yes i have the power of choice. I think i would be doomed if i could go nowhere where liquor is served, including family gatherings, because i have no choice. but as the big book says, if i am on shaky ground,better not. I know several AA people married to social drinkers and keep alcohol in their homes. For them , the problem has been removed. It's just that simple provided we do not rest on our laurels, continue meetings, steps 10,11,12 maintence steps, pray and work with others is what we do

[Macworkz]

33 years here. No more desire for me. Pot though... with state level legalities that are in violation of federal law and not enforced, I have to endure that smell. It doesn't trigger me to want to use it makes me angry. And it provides great practice and getting with my higher power and asking for help and thanking him at the same time.

[tomsteve]

i can do all sorts of things, provided my motives are good. I can go into a place that drinks are served and yes i have the power of choice. I think i would be doomed if i could go nowhere where liquor is served, including family gatherings, because i have no choice. but as the big book says, if i am on shaky ground,better not.

you bring up a good flashback.
a couple years sober, my girlfriend asked if i would be interested in going to a fundraising trivia gig. knowing my history, she mentioned there would be alcohol there. it would have been my first experience being around people drinking. i talked to my sponsor about it.he brought up a very good point- what was my motive for going.
the motive was good so he suggested being in fit spiritual condition and having an escape route. i mentioned to my girlfriend before the event that i might have to leave early if i got squirrely. she understood.

there was quite a bit of alcohol flowing all around. i did allright and had a good time. what i found funny:
there was a break in the action. people were getting up walkin around and conversating. at the table behind me, there were 2 women talking to each other who i would say had quite a bit to drink. they were both talking but both were talking about different topics!
i dont miss those days at all.