One Home Group?

[ann2]

Hi Joe, welcome

I appreciate what you say about being responsible with your one vote that goes further in the tabulations. The thing I'd worry about is if I'm affecting the group conscience of several different groups in such a way that these groups become homogenous and unable to present different atmospheres for the newcomer. I mean, I'm not the most likable person in the world and it might be a relief for a newcomer to go to a meeting where I don't have a say

I prefer the option of being a guest at other meetings but having one home group where I feel responsible and attend the business meeting.

Ann

[crazybob]

Each group is autonomous, each person is autonomous. The person belonging to more than one home group doesn't cause a problem with having more than one vote presuming the groups they belong to are not voting for other groups. In the election of officers, only one person is elected and is elected by a majority belong exclusively to one group. The other problem is with the enforcing the idea that a person must belong to only one group. AA gives us liberty to do what we want as long as it doesn't negatively effect a group or AA as a whole. Turning AA into a Totalitarian regime by enforcing one person/ one home group policy causes more problems than the alternative. Our leaders are but trusted servants they do not govern. We don't even tell people they can't drink. We say the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking, it does not say anywhere a person cannot belong to more than one home group. Thanks BT

[tyg]

In my sobriety I have found that one home group is better for me. Having just one helps me better to grow spiritually. It teaches me how to stick it out no matter what and continue to learn to build relationships, create teamwork and be a better team player (in and out of AA). It teaches me to practice love & tolerance, boundaries and be true to self; and, breaks down my self-contentedness, false pride, resentments, judgements etc.

I used to have several home groups but found that I just bounced around between them all. I'd get bored, fed up, whatever with one and stop going there for awhile and spent more time at the other "home groups" I had. Sometimes, I would find someone to take over my service position so I could take a break from the group. I've become aware how my Self-will (and more) can run riot having more than one home group.

So, now I have one home group but I have other meetings I'm really found of. I am in service at those other meetings by coming to them early and staying after to help set-up/greet/close-up and talk with newcomers and other members. I like the principle in the quote below too. Makes sense to me.

But doing service at more than one may deprive someone from having the opportunity to serve there themselves, in addition the AA literature does suggest one home group,

[bbreath]

Hi Joe, welcome

I appreciate what you say about being responsible with your one vote that goes further in the tabulations. The thing I'd worry about is if I'm affecting the group conscience of several different groups in such a way that these groups become homogenous and unable to present different atmospheres for the newcomer. I mean, I'm not the most likable person in the world and it might be a relief for a newcomer to go to a meeting where I don't have a say

I prefer the option of being a guest at other meetings but having one home group where I feel responsible and attend the business meeting.

Ann

This states my concern perfectly. Some people are more pushy than others. When they try to affect the doings of various groups, we lose our autonomy. Sadly, some people feel it is their duty to see that things are done "right".

Some people have said they need multiple home groups because they need contact and interaction with a lot of people. Well. They can have all the contact they want without having to be a home group member.

In my town there is a small group of people who belong to all the home groups. They are very vocal about how things are to be done. I haven't said much about it because it will cause a fuss. But dang. I wish every group in town didn't have to sit through all those Joe and Charley meetings.

[PaigeB]

In my town there is a small group of people who belong to all the home groups.

Hi bbreath! Depending on where you live, you might consider an out of town meeting. You might even make that your home group. I agree that too much of a good thing is still too much. Seems like it is time to branch out! A group of gals in my Area had a "Get in the Car" meeting where we traveled to meeting in smaller towns around our city. I Got in the Car a few times. It was fun, but became unsustainable for me.

I hope you find what you are looking for!

[MyNameIsBetsy]

Paige, I really like the idea of a "Get In The Car" meeting.

I also like the idea of a "Sober Walking" meeting or a "Let's go to lunch bunch" meeting. Great ideas to get us to connect with other sober alcoholics!

Betsy
an alcoholic

[PaigeB]

Paige, I really like the idea of a "Get In The Car" meeting.

I also like the idea of a "Sober Walking" meeting or a "Let's go to lunch bunch" meeting. Great ideas to get us to connect with other sober alcoholics!

Betsy
an alcoholic

How about this one? SMART FEET! My head has all kinds of things to say about if I should go to a meeting or not - but if I turn it over to my Smart Feet, I can usually get somewhere!!

[MacZa]

I'm pretty new to AA, and for the past month have been mostly going to two online groups. One is local, so has opportunities for outside-of-meeting get togethers (and possibly sponsorship). The other is based in the UK and really suits me more -- such a comfortable place to be! The problem with the UK group is that it's mostly men, so no chance to find a sponsor, probably.

I may not completely understand the definition of "home group": in terms of comfort level (and scope for learning), the UK group would certainly be it for me. The vibe of the local group bugs me: one host, who has been sober for a long time tends to dominate during their shares and "preach," which I find incredibly offputting. Other than the host, it's a pretty good group, and I'm getting to know some folks there.

Anyway, in my situation, I can see the value of being invested in two groups: one for the more meaningful vibe, and the other in order to have something local. I can see doing service in both groups.

Just a loonie's worth of opinion from a person new to AA.

[MyNameIsBetsy]

Hi MacZa,

It sounds like you have found two good groups. Fantastic! Now maybe try to find a local group which meets in person. Nothing beats that person to person connection.

A home group is the group where we feel the most connected. It's the group where we try to never miss a meeting, and where we take on service commitments. It's the group which "feeds us" with 12 step sobriety. I like to think of it as the group - and people - with whom I intend to grow old . . . sober. I know their sobriety, and I let them know mine.

Betsy
an alcoholic