New and had a question

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
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New and had a question

Post by runnergrl82 »

Is a online sponsor not as good as a physical one?im very busy.i dont work but have two toddlers and my husband works and im also trying another 12 step program for another addiction?

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Re: New and had a question

Post by avaneesh912 »

Why not? All you need is a honest desire to get well.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Re: New and had a question

Post by ann2 »

If you're willing to put in the effort, it is just as good. Can be better, depending on your personal make-up. Some people need the face-to-face encouragement and direction. Others need to see it in black and white. Either way, you gotta do the work.

"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

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Re: New and had a question

Post by PaigeB »

I have to agree with my sobriety sisters here... it is about working the Steps. You do the work, a sponsor is a guide. But for me, that guide was indispensable!

The Promises on page 83 end with... they will always materialize if we work for them.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Re: New and had a question

Post by Mike O »

ann2 wrote: Either way, you gotta do the work.

The temptation can be to go the online-only route in the thought that it'll be easier to slack on the step work. I know I was guilty of this in my early months.

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Re: New and had a question

Post by lifeline »

It has some advantages and some disadvantages. What I liked is that I could reread what was shared as often as I wanted to. I probably would have missed a lot in just oral conversation. Another plus is that an online sponsor is usually often available. It takes some experience to get to know the other online but after a while it is possible to "read" in which mood someone is. All the typing is time consuming but it can be a plus because putting down a thought in writing requires more clarity than speaking. Having to type or paste the entire BB can be a drag, but that wouldn't affect the sponsee. lol A negative is that you miss out on going to meetings with your sponsor, the fellowship, drinking coffee together and what else goes with it. Plus, you can't pass tissues through a computer screen. To do step 5 you best would have to meet or find someone else locally to do it. I did mine online and it took me two and a half days to type all the stuff. Basically, I would say a face to face sponsor is the better deal but if there are reasons (not excuses :-)) why you can't do that an online sponsor is the way to go. At the very beginning of AA alcoholics would use snail mail due to lack of meetings and local members to take them through the program. They would write a letter to New York and get a response a few weeks later. Modem to modem is at least faster.

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Re: New and had a question

Post by Service »

If one feels the need to check in with a parole officer both ways can acheive it !!!!!

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Re: New and had a question

Post by Tommy-S »

Service wrote:If one feels the need to check in with a parole officer both ways can acheive it !!!!!
I was taught the 'ISM" in Alcoholism stood for "I Sponsor Me".

I have yet to meet anyone who can fix a defective head using the same defective head, any more than one is able to pull themselves up by their own boot straps - literally

As my best thinking got me drunk, it's a sane move to get some outside input (preferably, from someone who is sober & sane). Just a thought :)

Thanks... Tommy
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!

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