I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinking.

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Seva
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I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinking.

Post by Seva » Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:17 am

As there say ‘Alcohol is but a symptom’ & boy is this the truth! I have come to see that just putting the drink down is only the start. Since been a child I have had low self-worth, no confidence & I have never loved myself. This has led me into toxic relationships & unable to set boundaries. I have been attending AA for 6 months now, I have a sponsor & I am working the steps. My confidence has started to increase. I used to go bright red when speaking to women, but this has stopped. I have started to set boundaries & deal with every day issues without feeling resentful, unable to cope & bursting out crying feeling sorry for myself.

I have a fantastic group of friends at AA & we have all been out for Pizza. They all know that I am shy & have low confidence, but they are helping me by asking me to do service & giving me things like the traditions & preamble to read out in meetings. My sponsor said it would be great for me to share as I have a lot to offer but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Yesterday the Chair asked if I would talk about some literature that we have on offer & I almost declined but I knew I should really do it. I did it & it wasn’t as bad as I feared speaking unrehearsed in front of 20 or so people.

I just wanted to post this to say that I am grateful for AA not only for helping stay sober but for helping me come out of my shell & do the things I once feared.

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Jojo2
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Re:I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinking

Post by Jojo2 » Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:35 am

Seva wrote: I have been attending AA for 6 months now, I have a sponsor & I am working the steps. My confidence has started to increase.

I just wanted to post this to say that I am grateful for AA not only for helping stay sober but for helping me come out of my shell & do the things I once feared.


Good for you. Thank you for reporting back on your wonderful progress.

At my Home Group, they still laughingly tell newcomers they thought I would never open my mouth and now they can't shut me up!

Seva
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Re: Re:I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drin

Post by Seva » Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:37 am

Jojo2 wrote:
Seva wrote: I have been attending AA for 6 months now, I have a sponsor & I am working the steps. My confidence has started to increase.

I just wanted to post this to say that I am grateful for AA not only for helping stay sober but for helping me come out of my shell & do the things I once feared.


Good for you. Thank you for reporting back on your wonderful progress.

At my Home Group, they still laughingly tell newcomers they thought I would never open my mouth and now they can't shut me up!
Thank you & I believe once I do open my mouth & share I wont shut up too haha

shaunagus
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Re: I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinkin

Post by shaunagus » Mon Apr 29, 2019 7:35 am

That’s a great post and I have to say it was exactly the same for me. I just wanted to stop drinking, but I got the message that the steps cure us of our alcoholism with a focus on the “ism” which means so much more than just not drinking. Before long I was desperate to get to that “psychic change” the BB talk about. Made some good friends, got happier with myself and happier in general.

I’m also shy in many situations. I only shared in meetings because I wanted to dive in completely but it was rare and it was excruciating. I think I shared in my second meeting and then didn’t share again for three months. After six months my sponsor asked me to do a main share and I was so scared but it felt fine once I got started. And literally everyone shared back with encouraging words afterwards. I still find it hard to share in meetings but I try to remember something an AA buddy told me - that’s it’s an exercise in trust. I think so much of programme is an exercise in trust. Trusting you won’t be outed in your community, trusting someone won’t reject you when you ask them to sponsor you, trusting with your step 5, trusting that the steps will work at all - and trusting that even if you don’t give a great share it’ll be fine.

I shared at my last meeting (not main chair just in general sharing) and once I’d finished I thought “Jesus, what a load of rubbish, you’re such an idiot, that was boring, nonsensical etc etc”. Then about three shares later someone said “I particularly liked what Shaunagus had to say...” and went on to say why. So my head is not to be listened to.

Another part of it is I kinda think of AA meeting as a spiritual event - a group of people come together, sit in a circle and create energy and noise - the noise part is the sharing part (so is the energy part I guess) and so I get more energy passes back to me if I join in with the noise. Prob doesn’t make sense to anyone but it works for me lol.
“I am a seeker, a poor sinful creature, there is no weaker than I am,” Dolly Parton

Seva
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Re: I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinkin

Post by Seva » Mon Apr 29, 2019 7:46 am

shaunagus wrote:That’s a great post and I have to say it was exactly the same for me. I just wanted to stop drinking, but I got the message that the steps cure us of our alcoholism with a focus on the “ism” which means so much more than just not drinking. Before long I was desperate to get to that “psychic change” the BB talk about. Made some good friends, got happier with myself and happier in general.

I’m also shy in many situations. I only shared in meetings because I wanted to dive in completely but it was rare and it was excruciating. I think I shared in my second meeting and then didn’t share again for three months. After six months my sponsor asked me to do a main share and I was so scared but it felt fine once I got started. And literally everyone shared back with encouraging words afterwards. I still find it hard to share in meetings but I try to remember something an AA buddy told me - that’s it’s an exercise in trust. I think so much of programme is an exercise in trust. Trusting you won’t be outed in your community, trusting someone won’t reject you when you ask them to sponsor you, trusting with your step 5, trusting that the steps will work at all - and trusting that even if you don’t give a great share it’ll be fine.

I shared at my last meeting (not main chair just in general sharing) and once I’d finished I thought “Jesus, what a load of rubbish, you’re such an idiot, that was boring, nonsensical etc etc”. Then about three shares later someone said “I particularly liked what Shaunagus had to say...” and went on to say why. So my head is not to be listened to.

Another part of it is I kinda think of AA meeting as a spiritual event - a group of people come together, sit in a circle and create energy and noise - the noise part is the sharing part (so is the energy part I guess) and so I get more energy passes back to me if I join in with the noise. Prob doesn’t make sense to anyone but it works for me lol.
It is coming up to 6 months sober for me & I know I am going to be asked to a main share & I am panicking already haha but I know I need to do it. I need to share things that I have never shared before to a group of people I trust. My sponsor keeps telling me that what I tell him will help others. I just think it is a load of rubbish but then I think well maybe it isn't.

I want to jump into it & confront my fears head on. I am grateful that alcoholism has led me to the fellowship because I get a second chance at been the person I want to be. This would have never happened if I had not of been an alcoholic. For this alone I am grateful.

I have no idea how my main share will go. I keep thinking that I will just go bright red & unable to speak but I cannot let this put me off. I must do it in order to progress & in order to try & help others. It is amazing how I get little things that help me from every share & that person is normally oblivious to the fact that they have helped someone.

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Brock
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Re: I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinkin

Post by Brock » Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:02 pm

Good stuff here, thanks for telling us how the program is working in your life. If I was new and unsure about the benefits of AA, this would have helped me greatly. So I think your sponsor is right, when he says what you have to say will help others, and in this case what you write has helped others as well.

At the bottom of the page I can see this -
Who is online
In total there are 59 users online :: 3 registered, 1 hidden and 55 guests (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Just in the last 5 minutes, 55 guests who could have benefited from positive messages like this one.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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Spirit Flower
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Re: I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinkin

Post by Spirit Flower » Tue Apr 30, 2019 4:21 pm

=biggrin >>> seva
...a score card reading zero...

innermost
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Re: I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinkin

Post by innermost » Fri May 17, 2019 7:53 am

Hey Seva
So great to read your new found freedom.
Thanks for sharing this positive part of your life.
To share in an open meeting can seem like a dreadful task.
A little prayer helps. But most of all it WILL help new comer
and old timer alike and not to mention the personal benefit,
you will get to hear your own story from drunk to one building an archway to freedom.
Many in life would only wish to know this freedom,
and you are finding it and now you get to share it.
Speak from the heart of your freedom, we all need to hear of it.
So I cheer you on in spirit. :D
The first 164 pg. is the program!

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SaltySoberSailor
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Re: I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinkin

Post by SaltySoberSailor » Sun May 26, 2019 9:34 pm

I agree completely with AA being beneficial in other aspects of life as well. Since I started working the steps I've noticed I have much better control of my temper, and things that used to piss me off don't (some... not all!) I've noticed that coworkers that really erked me don't bother me so much anymore, I have more patience, and I'm generally in a better mood. My stress level is much more manageable, too. I've always hated public speaking, but I've found speaking at meetings to get easier each time. I was joking with a guy at rehab who had never been to an AA meeting. I related my first meeting to going to confession when I was a kid: You DREAD going inside, but once you go in and be honest, you WILL feel better when you walk out.
"Your child doesn't understand addiction. They don't care whether it's a choice or a disease. They just want their mom or dad back."

maurits
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Re: I’m getting so much more out of AA than just not drinking.

Post by maurits » Sat Jun 22, 2019 11:14 am

Seva wrote:
Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:17 am
My sponsor said it would be great for me to share as I have a lot to offer but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

thank you all for sharing

Many times I told my sponsor that although being a recovering alcoholic and willing to work the steps there is one thing I won't do.

Sharing my personal story
(the long version) of recovery as the main speaker at a speaker meeting.

I have learned to just say no thank you when asked without feeling disproportional guilt or thinking that I should or must do it.

Then at a saturday evening meeting the chair person approached me and whispered in my ear that he received a message that the main speaker wasn't able to make it here on time.

And unexpectedly I heard myself whispering back: no worries I'll do it

And a few moments later I started to share my personal life experiences in front of really a lot of other recovering alcoholics.

Afterwards I realized that I had been sharing for almost 45 minutes.

It was an amazing experience.

After the meeting someone came up to me and said that from all the times he listened to me as the main speaker this one he liked most,

but this is my first time ever, I said to him, he smiled and said yeah right

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