Going against my sponsors advice?

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Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby ThelonleyMango » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:01 pm

My sponsor has advised me NOT to try recruiting outside alcoholics until Im done with step 12, he says by then- I will be able to spread the message more effectively.
but Im sure I can spread the message as effectively Now while on step 4-as well as I could if I was on step 12 .. so why does my sponsor bring step 12's effectiveness into this?
So my main question is:

why does the spiritual awakening they talk about in step 12 make one deliver the message of AA more effectively?
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby Spirit Flower » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:52 pm

32 years ago, when I was new, and still today where I go to meetings: if a call comes in, whoever is there helps whoever called.

There were hardly any treatment centers back then, not the industry it is today, so we went there for meetings. We went to jails too.

If someone asks for help then you help. Just have one more day of sobriety than them.
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby Brock » Sat Nov 18, 2017 5:02 pm

why does the spiritual awakening they talk about in step 12 make one deliver the message of AA more effectively?

The short answer is because then you should know what you are talking about. I agree with spirit that if the occasion arises where someone asks for help or advise, you can try your best to give it. But you are talking about 'recruiting,' actively going out looking for people to help, that’s a different matter, and I agree with your sponsor, you shouldn’t be doing that.

I also tried it, went into the bar I used to hang out in and told the old crowd the ‘good news’ about AA, I had plans to save everybody before I even fully understood the program, I deeply regret that, because I believe it may have put some of them off of AA. The steps are numbered 1-12 for a reason, even after 12 we will keep on learning the rest of our lives, learning also how to most effectively carry the message. It’s nice that you want to help others, more reason to press on with the steps, so that you can help in the best way possible.
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby D'oh » Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:48 pm

I have heard a Speaker describe it best. "You can take the Steps anyway you wish but chances are if you go from the 2nd to the 12th, you will split the crotch out of your pants"

I understand, trying to save the Alcoholic World, but look after yourself first. The Book relates to this |You cannot spread something you haven't got"
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Nov 19, 2017 5:59 am

why does the spiritual awakening they talk about in step 12 make one deliver the message of AA more effectively?


Looking back, the way it was written and one could see for ourselves the why it was suppose to work, people took very little time to go through the fundamentals, the amends part, they did while they were actively living the principles of the program and carrying the message. Read the story "He sold himself short". The protagonist, works with Dr. Bob and travels to Chicago and starts working on the setting up AA in there. The dude does allow selfishness and self-centeredness creep back in after about 9 months and goes out, but like we have AA, belly full of booze and head-full of AA, he realizes the stupidity and returns to Akron to re-establish himself.

They drove home the importance of having a spiritual awakening as a result of working all the first 11 steps. Its a whole package. So, we could relay the same to next person who is looking for a solution.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby positrac » Sun Nov 19, 2017 4:09 pm

I look at that the fire of the desire is great and right now you are the best and want to save mankind from our disease. But you are no good to yourself or anyone else if you get into trouble and slip because those still using will see no reason to ever stop if you fail.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby tomsteve » Mon Nov 20, 2017 7:33 am

i applaud your enthusiasm, but are they alcoholics that want help?
personally, if i had a sponsee come to me and say they were gonna "recruit" alkies, i think id say,"good luck with that. let me know how it goes."
and let him learn from experience.the chapter,"working with others" comes from a LOT of experience.
as far as how far a sponsee is in the steps, i personally dont see that as a problem as long as the motive is right- some story in one of the books on aa tells of a man in a psych ward. he was talkin to another man and said,"i used to be in AA and once i get out im heading back." they both ended up in aa and remained sober.
attraction rather than promotion.
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby Roberth » Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:32 pm

Hello Mango……I hope it’s just semantics but recruiting something we shouldn’t do. It actually goes against are traditions. Besides not everyone wants to stop drinking.

Tradition 11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.

When I was new my sponsor and his follower AAers took me with them on the 12 step calls we got through Central Office. The lessons were invaluable on dealing with wet drunk and I was grateful that experience.
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby Blue Moon » Thu Nov 23, 2017 7:47 pm

ThelonleyMango wrote:why does the spiritual awakening they talk about in step 12 make one deliver the message of AA more effectively?


Because it takes roughly that time and effort to get your ego out of the way sufficiently to know deep down that the outcome of "recruitment" is not up to you.

You're working Step 12 simply by walking into an AA meeting on a regular basis. You're just not getting a pat on the back for doing that, so it doesn't "feel" good for the ego. And it's not supposed to.
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby odat12 » Fri Nov 24, 2017 6:34 am

By focusing on another person and their problem, we're taking all the focus off of our own recovery and leaving us vulnerable to relapse. And we do our best "recruiting" when we are able to practice the principles in all our affairs. Our lives changing is what helps other alcoholics want to change. If you're still in the same situation you were in when you were drinking, what proof do you have to show the program works?
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Re: Going against my sponsors advice?

Postby Tosh » Sun Dec 10, 2017 2:25 pm

I tried to helped a few people before I formally did Step 12 with my sponsor. For example I would give a little money to street alcoholics (I still do) and I'd tell them I was in A.A. and it was helping me. Street alcoholics are always willing to listen if you give them some cash. And I'd point out where the meetings are and I'd tell them I'd love to see them there.

I couldn't 'carry THE message', as in guide them through the 12 Steps, because at that stage I'd not done them myself.

Did it harm me? Nope. Did it help them. Probably not. Did it help me? I think so.

Edited to add; your sponsor is right though; if you really want to be effective at helping alkies - and I think it's brilliant that you do - then get yourself through the 12 Steps; you will have that spiritual awakening, and you will be able to pass that message of recovery on.

More will be revealed, they say, and it's true.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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