reaching out

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reaching out

Postby marthamaree » Fri Nov 03, 2017 1:45 pm

Hi everyone. Day 13 and I feel awful but VERY glad to be sober. I lived to drink. I thought about my next drink all the time. I had no idea until I stopped, how obsessed I was with it. I am glad to be not drinking. I feel lonely. Alcohol dissolves loneliness. I can see now, alcohol was my date. Pathetic but true. I liked to drink "privately". I also feel very, very, tired. However I am going to AA for a hour meeting most days and I am loving AA.
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Re: reaching out

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Nov 03, 2017 2:00 pm

Yes, I could totally relate to it. I medicated my condition with alcohol. But it stopped working at certain point. Continue to go to meetings. But more importantly realize that if we dont address the un-manageability, it will lead us back to that first drink. We will be blind-sighted.

Read the stories Bills, The car Salesman (in more about alcoholism), the Accountant story (in more about alcoholism), they are there to illustrate that without the 12 steps, the alcoholic will drink.

There are some great workshops you can listen to that are freely available on youtube and other free AA sites. I did that when I was in my early sobriety. I will go to meetings and also listen to those workshops when I am not in meetings. Very important tool for me.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: reaching out

Postby PaigeB » Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:18 pm

Hellloooo marthamaree! Congrats on 13 days.

You know what happened to me? I was going to an hour meeting most days, just like you. One day I was tearing down the Interstate heading to a meeting and I thought, "I can't remember the last time I thought about alcohol!"

Yep! There it was! I brief glimpse of what my daily life would look like when I was free of the obsession. As it turned out, loneliness was not what bothered me all my life... it was inner-peace I struggled for. Struggle for Peace - sounds silly to me now... Now I KNOW that I have to surrender to my new way of life and enjoy the ride!

Of course Peace (like all feelings) is fleeting - so enjoy the glimpses that you do get!

I am sure Peace will find you. It happened to me, it can happen to you!
Step 6 is "AA's way of stating, the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job... with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement." 12&12 Step Six, p.65
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Re: reaching out

Postby Caretaker » Sat Nov 04, 2017 4:33 pm

Hi again marthamaree
I'm enjoying reading your journey. Stay the course. I also liked to drink alone sort of. I had no trouble going with a group and being the only one to have a drink.
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Re: reaching out

Postby i_know_joy_now » Sun Nov 05, 2017 2:09 pm

Hi marthamaree,

After about 14 days of not drinking, my feelings came back and I felt like a raw nerve, though I didn't want to jump back into drinking to start over. It's OK for you to feel the way you're feeling - we all feel that way for awhile, so know that you're still in sobriety! While not drinking is what keeps your body sober, doing the steps is what will keep you feeling right. Do you have a sponsor yet?
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Re: reaching out

Postby marthamaree » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:44 pm

Not yet. I have asked someone but "no" still looking.
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