Where are the educated alcoholics?

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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby Layne » Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:20 am

Maybe that's the problem, stop "educating"

Seems to be a two way street.

If I look for differences, I will find them; and they tend to propagate alienation. If I look for similarities, I will find them; and they tend to propagate socialization and fraternization.

"When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new"― Dalai Lama
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby Brock » Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:34 am

Unfortunately, when we have a topic particularly like this one, I think we tend to read too much into the title, so we may see the big title “Where are the educated alcoholics?” and our mind is already half made up, this fellow doesn't like uneducated people. We read the rest, and because we are thinking a certain way, a little comment like “I was looking forward to socialize more” jumps out at us, ah ha the brain goes, he wouldn’t socialize with anyone without a degree. Lots of things are said between that title and comment, but we don’t seem to register that.

Those who start topics are special in my opinion, new topics keep forums like these alive, and it’s not always easy to start one, many shy away from doing so. We have a list of topics and were thinking we could put one in when things are slow, but my first attempt at that didn’t have the desired result. For example if I start a topic like “Lingering resentments,” which is something I believe some AA’s suffer from, it doesn't really matter what I write under the title, some folks will think I suffer from lingering resentments, and I will get educated on how to remove them. Maybe to some this wouldn’t matter, they will say ‘so what if people think you have resentments, you know you don’t and that’s all that matters.’ But I find words like that are easy to say, and often the one saying them if someone says to them ‘I think you have resentments,’ are the first to take offense.

So how we pass information can be a problem, especially when we can’t give ‘body language,’ I don’t take tough love type of comments well from anyone, especially when a whole bunch of others can read them.
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby positrac » Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:43 am

You like to start problems and refuse to look at the greater good. Play your little games and do whatever you need to do because your opening thread speaks volumes. Since you know so much more than the rest of us we can sit and listen and learn from a true expert on alcohol, education levels of real drinkers and how to exactly communicate with highly educated people in and out of AA.

What are you looking for? I won't lay down and play dead for you because you came on this site out of the box looking for issues. Everyone is trying to be nice and polite and I told you I am far from the regular PC commando and I'll speak my thoughts honestly.



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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby cristis » Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:55 am

Thank you, Brock, you said it way better than myself!

And now I'll stop answering to any negative comments here just because I appreciate what some of you guys do.

Cheers,
-C
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby Blue Moon » Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:32 pm

cristis wrote: I've been at several AA meetings this week and I think no one there, in three different groups, had a college degree. People are nice and I have nothing bad to say about anyone, but it will be hard to find someone like me if we don't speak the same language. One of my main reasons for drinking is loneliness, and obviously I was looking forward to socialize more.


The alcoholic brain wants each of us to be different, to not fit in without dependency on alcohol. Yours simply manifested itself by convincing you that the unwashed uneducated hobo can't teach you anything.

I am statistically more intelligent than approx. 99% of the population. Probably more than you. It's unreasonable to expect others to meet my standards of IQ, because otherwise that 99% would not be 99%.

I don't go into a doctor's office expecting them all to match my IQ, or my education about matters which are not medical. Yet even if their IQ is lower, or their education is different, they are educated and skilled in at least one important area that I'm not. They must be, else I wouldn't be there.

It's not dissimilar in AA. Chances are that some of those uneducated folk in the room can teach you a thing or two, because they have knowledge that you don't: how to function sober, no matter what. Not all will have this knowledge, and not all can impart it, but a sizeable proportion probably do and could. They're also all educated in the business called "life", some far more than most people with a college degree can imagine.

I don't go to the doctor's office to socialise. I don't go to AA to socialise. Neither is supposed to be a social club. I go to understand about, and take, the actions necessary to live and function, so I can then safely and healthily go into social settings outside the room. AA is medicine for alcoholism, its members are experts in the alcoholic field.

I had to drink myself stupid just to fit in. I then had to learn from others, some of whom couldn't even read, about how not to need to drink at all. All because they were sober yet I couldn't string together more than 10 days without climbing the walls.
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby cristis » Fri Nov 03, 2017 9:54 pm

@Brock, could you please ask the baboon in chief to take a look at your (last) comment? And mine (first), if he doesn't get too tired reading 3 more paragraphs?

I was about to keep my word and stop replying to any other attacks. But it's been such a shocking display of stupidity and dumb aggressivity on this topic, I cannot believe any of you lives by the Big Book and the Steps. You simply spit raw hate, people, something is fundamentally wrong with you...

Hurry up now to quickly delete this comment, "Site Admin". I'm done on this caricature of forum anyway.

It has (not) been a pleasure,
-C
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby desypete » Sat Nov 04, 2017 1:46 am

you can have all the education in the world and yet not be able to figure out the simplest of problems
like if you dont pick up the first drink you can not get drunk ?

why couldn't i ever think of that ?

i drank because it made me feel good in the early days and i loved what it did for me, but my problem wasnt that i sat alone with my sad songs playing on my own getting drunk
my problem was that i got drunk as i never knew i couldn't stop once i took that first drink as it was pure hunger for me that kicks in i have no off switch

in my drunken state i would end up falling over, making a show of myself, hurting people, hurting my family, getting locked up getting my name in the paper, losing my driving licence the list of disasters that would happen to me once i took that first drink are a mile long

yet anyone with half a brain would simply stop drinking if it does that sort of thing to them
yet the mental twist that people go on about tells you it will be different the next time
i would try to control my intake of booze like only drinking half pints, never drinking shorts or the hard stuff
it didnt matter what i tried to control my drinking i would always end up flat on my back and in trouble some how
if i drank half pints i would drink more and more of them once i took that first drink

if i went out for a drink i would take less money with me to make sure i couldnt end up drinking to black out but no effect as i would bum drinks or go to where the glass collectors dump the drinks that have been left behind for the glasses to be washed and i would pinch those drinks

it just didnt matter what i did in my early days of drinking trying to avoid getting drunk and waking up to that horror of what i have done the night before

i could not drink like a gentleman and never could

alcoholics of my type can not control alcohol. can not drink like a gentleman we obsess over booze as its the best thing in world for us its the keys to freedom we dissmiss all the damage we inflict or worse we blame others for why we ended up in that mess like blaming the wife for something, ending up drunk as a lord and then smashing up the home only to wake up the next day and blaming the wife for starting it
total bloody madness yet the alcoholic mind just can not see it such is the power the booze has

now i thought i was a very clever man, built up a business married with 5 lovely kids
yet over time i lost it all and ended up a 24 7 drunken bum who was drunk morning noon and night my state was drunk as its the only way i knew how to live a day as my life was in ruins

yet all my brains in the world couldnt figure out that simple thing like dont pick up that first drink and you can not get drunk
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby Blue Moon » Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:30 am

cristis wrote:@Brock, could you please ask the baboon in chief to take a look at your (last) comment? And mine (first), if he doesn't get too tired reading 3 more paragraphs?

"Cristis", unlike you, nothing I said in this thread was personally offensive. I can accept that it was not what you wanted to hear, but having your bubble burst is not an excuse to behave like a child.

ISTM AA really has nothing you want. But keep coming back. You may find it helps to talk less to hear more.
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby beginningagain7 » Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:45 am

They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary until they told someone else all their story.

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 73, with permission from AAWS

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation---some fact of my life---unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity util I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Acceptance Was The Answer, pg. 417, With permission from AAWS

"Where are the educated alcoholics?" They are the ones that have read the Big Book, they are the ones that have done the 12 Steps, and they are the ones that have let go of their ego and became humble. They have accepted that they cannot live life on their terms but on life's terms. In other words they changed their attitudes.

Have a good day
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby Spirit Flower » Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:11 am

Where I've been a part of the fellowship, and someone walks out in huff, we say something like, "try not to let the door hit you in the axx." Strangely enough, real alcoholics always find their way back to us. No one ever says anything about what happened before. We just welcome them back with hugs.
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby TaylorKoleDOTcom » Sun Nov 05, 2017 3:36 pm

What a great group of people life offers. I've been sober six years. An extra brought me to aa. There's many types, but nearly all will break their back to help.
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby positrac » Mon Nov 06, 2017 3:00 am

positrac wrote:
cristis wrote:Don't want to offend anyone, but I've been at several AA meetings this week and I think no one there, in three different groups, had a college degree. People are nice and I have nothing bad to say about anyone, but it will be hard to find someone like me if we don't speak the same language. One of my main reasons for drinking is loneliness, and obviously I was looking forward to socialize more.

Welcome and I want to say that education shouldn't be a reason to make excuses on why you have an alcohol problem. I've been around AA a little while and been around the world and met people in all walks of life and when the connection hits education is one of the last issues I've ever been concerned about.

You want to get sober then go to any length and stop putting road blocks in the way of success because you aren't unique nor special, just a drunk hoping to find sobriety. So in other words if you met me and knew I lived in the homeless shelter you'd write me off because I am surely uneducated and not the caliber of person who could remotely relate to your situation. Good luck on that one because I suspect you're setting yourself up for failure.



As a reminder of the original post that you didn't want to offend and you say you drank because you were loneness and that is a real emotion. So I did mention in this original reply that you aren't unique and no matter how you compare out eventually you will find you are the same as us and our language can be spoken clearly because we have the same sensors in our alcoholic mind if you are really an alcoholic. Now if everything I've posted and others posted is so offensive and negative then you might have problems with AA and sobriety.

I hope you keep coming back and maybe in the future you'll see we are decent people from all walks of life and social standards.
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby tomsteve » Thu Nov 09, 2017 8:21 am

cristis wrote:
I was about to keep my word and stop replying to any other attacks. But it's been such a shocking display of stupidity and dumb aggressivity on this topic, I cannot believe any of you lives by the Big Book and the Steps. You simply spit raw hate, people, something is fundamentally wrong with you...

Hurry up now to quickly delete this comment, "Site Admin". I'm done on this caricature of forum anyway.

It has (not) been a pleasure,
-C


hope ya find what youre lookin fer, cristis.
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Re: Where are the educated alcoholics?

Postby ODAAT » Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:22 pm

Spirit Flower wrote:Where I've been a part of the fellowship, and someone walks out in huff, we say something like, "try not to let the door hit you in the axx." Strangely enough, real alcoholics always find their way back to us. No one ever says anything about what happened before. We just welcome them back with hugs.


I dont comment on how you bid the huffers farewell.But I am very doubtful that all the real alcoholics always find their way back to you.
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