In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

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In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby ThelonleyMango » Sun Oct 15, 2017 9:27 am

My confusion here is it says will and lives. But arent will and life kind of one in the same thing? if not, whats the difference in will and lives?
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Re: In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby Patsy© » Sun Oct 15, 2017 9:32 am

ThelonleyMango wrote:My confusion here is it says will and lives. But arent will and life kind of one in the same thing? if not, whats the difference in will and lives?


Are you in Recovery or are you trying to get a good grade in the School you attend?

What School is it that you attend?
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Re: In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby ThelonleyMango » Sun Oct 15, 2017 9:46 am

Actually im in an alcoholic program ran by the county in order to stop teens from getting into such adversity's at such an early age, so what they do is they introduce you to the ideals that surround AA, and the promises and more. They dont want to risk someone getting turned away from AA simply because they dont understand something or are confused. They make sure you go to meetings, get a sponsor, etc. They also give engaging questions for self research. And the idea is that through that research, it'll eventually hit the teen and give the juvenile something to reflect on.

if you dont want to help me reflect on the question thats fine! thank you for your time :D :)
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Difference between praying and meditating?

Postby ThelonleyMango » Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:17 am

Whats the difference between praying and meditating, At the end of the day, it just comes down to me closing my eyes and waiting for a "touch" from the higher power. Despite if im praying or meditating.
And if theres no difference why do they call it two different things?
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Re: In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby Patsy© » Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:39 am

They dont want to risk someone getting turned away from AA simply because they dont understand something or are confused.


Are you in that alcohol program run by the county for YOU and your own recovery? Or are you there strictly as a teacher or a guidance counselor?

Perhaps its best to learn What AA is and What AA isn't, before trying to teach others. AA doesn't turn anyone away when the person is looking for help, doesn't understand or is confused. How can they introduce you to the ideals that surround AA, and the promises and more, if they don't know that basic information about Alcoholics Anonymous?

Everyone who comes to AA to get help, regardless of their age, is usually confused and doesn't understand.

Are all these questions that you have been asking, the ones that were given to you by this alcohol program to answer?
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Re: In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby Brock » Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:28 am

I agree that the average person coming into AA is confused, and certainly would not be “turned away,” perhaps it would be best to say we don't want them “turned off” of AA by lack of understanding. And from that view point I think the program Mango is in is an excellent idea.
Are all these questions that you have been asking, the ones that were given to you by this alcohol program to answer?

If they are it would not matter to me, the questions are good ones for all AA members to ponder on once again, and the replies useful for newcomer and even old-timer reading, it also keeps the forums here 'flowing,' more power to you Mango.

Hope you don't mind the shortening of the name to Mango, I have a friend who goes by that name. Growing up in the Caribbean where mango trees are everywhere, we used to call him 'mango head,' due to the shape of his head. The head part was dropped as we grew up, and even though he went on to become prominent in our society, he still answers to mango, when he dies the announcement is bound to have that name.
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Re: In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby ThelonleyMango » Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:35 am

No I believe you are under a wrong understanding. The county I live in has a program for teens, me being one of them at 16 years old. Quite the young alcoholic.
The belief is, there are certain things that can deter one from actively going to AA. Like me for example, first AA meeting I went to, I thought it all revolved around Jesus, and having seen big books, I thought those were bibles. I was under misunderstandings. Too many to count. There were many things that could have deterred me from AA had it not been for the drug class to guide me through certain things. It's ran by coordinators who have studied AA, helped people who go to AA, understood the program and intensively studied the 12 steps, preached in jails and etc. Their profession solely revolves around studying and helping addiction. And for the teen, a room full of alcoholics can be intimating and rough. So the drug class removes certain confusions the teen may have, along with making sure they get to meetings, making sure they get a worthy sponsor, making sure they read the literature... etc.

Their promise is that after the end of the program, we will have had everything we need to become a good, sober person in society. Ultimately its our choice, and their job to equip us with an equated fair decision. They want us to stick to the meetings for a good while, and almost force us to reflect on the many teachings and principles that AA offers. So that we avoid being on relapse row.
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Re: In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby Brock » Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:43 am

Brock wrote: ...perhaps it would be best to say we don't want them “turned off” of AA by lack of understanding. And from that view point I think the program Mango is in is an excellent idea.

That's what I suspected it was about, very good idea and thanks for clarifying.
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Re: In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby Patsy© » Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:09 pm

ThelonleyMango wrote:No I believe you are under a wrong understanding. The county I live in has a program for teens, me being one of them at 16 years old. Quite the young alcoholic.
The belief is, there are certain things that can deter one from actively going to AA. Like me for example, first AA meeting I went to, I thought it all revolved around Jesus, and having seen big books, I thought those were bibles. I was under misunderstandings. Too many to count. There were many things that could have deterred me from AA had it not been for the drug class to guide me through certain things. It's ran by coordinators who have studied AA, helped people who go to AA, understood the program and intensively studied the 12 steps, preached in jails and etc. Their profession solely revolves around studying and helping addiction. And for the teen, a room full of alcoholics can be intimating and rough. So the drug class removes certain confusions the teen may have, along with making sure they get to meetings, making sure they get a worthy sponsor, making sure they read the literature... etc.

Their promise is that after the end of the program, we will have had everything we need to become a good, sober person in society. Ultimately its our choice, and their job to equip us with an equated fair decision. They want us to stick to the meetings for a good while, and almost force us to reflect on the many teachings and principles that AA offers. So that we avoid being on relapse row.


Nice Mango and welcome!

When you say misunderstanding about the meetings? Do you mean AA meetings, are you sure that was an AA meeting you attended the first time? Or are the meetings you speak of in this program?

I think its great that you are 16 years old and want to stay sober, congrats to you! I am sure it can be intimidating to be sitting with alcoholics in recovery at AA meetings. I am not sure how many you have been too, but there are many kinds of AA meetings. I would suggest a Beginners Meetings, they are wonderful and can be of help with many of the questions you ask.

I would suggest that getting to other kinds of AA meetings and asking some AA members these questions face to face might help you not only to stay sober but to have many AA members who would be reaching out to you, and help you through the 12 steps of Recovery.
Last edited by Patsy© on Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Difference between praying and meditating?

Postby Patsy© » Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:20 pm

ThelonleyMango wrote:Whats the difference between praying and meditating, At the end of the day, it just comes down to me closing my eyes and waiting for a "touch" from the higher power. Despite if im praying or meditating.
And if theres no difference why do they call it two different things?


Hi Mango,

Here in the Boston area, they call it two different things because Prayer is Talking to the God of our understanding and Meditation is Listening to the God of our understanding. Waiting for a touch from your Higher Power is nice :)

If you attend face to face AA meetings, you can get a Sponsor who can help you through the Steps ....One step at a time. The 12 Steps are best done in order.

Do you have the Twelve and Twelve?

Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
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Re: In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby Patsy© » Sun Oct 15, 2017 2:01 pm

ThelonleyMango wrote:My confusion here is it says will and lives. But arent will and life kind of one in the same thing? if not, whats the difference in will and lives?


Hi Mango,

Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.


Our Will is our Thinking and Our Lives are our Actions.

So, we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.....and then we pick up a pencil and begin writing our 4th Step.


Page 64 in the Big Book:
"Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four."
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Re: In step 3 it says "turned our will and lives"?

Postby Roberth » Mon Oct 16, 2017 8:58 am

Interesting post Mango….. I think of my will as the desire and my life as the action. I have to think about what I am going to do, but then I actually have to do it.
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