For some, just asking for help in the morning, and giving thanks at night. For others 7 meetings a week for life. Everyone is different.
I agree that everyone is different, but surely nobody will ever argue, that the first way, which is the way more or less that the book says we do it, is the way AA was designed to work, spiritual experience etc. And the other way, depending on meetings, is not what the literature says we should do, whatever works etc is fine, I am not arguing that, (and yes meetings are very important before we do the steps), on this site if you don't cover every possible angle someone will jump on it. But I believe two things are vitally important, firstly the person doing it by the “meetings method,” does not pass that to others as the AA message, and secondly, that person realize that perhaps there is something missing in their program, and seek the answer.
But what is Necessary Work?
I believe, and the books indicate, that this prayer or meditation business is personal to each member, we must find our own way. I never expect others to take my advise on spiritual matters, maybe if I walked on water or such they might, otherwise just speaking about what we found useful is as much as we can do. And one person will say this book by so and so is great, another might try it and say no way, same with spiritual speakers, AA speakers, even food, we humans don't always agree.
When I first came here I was having trouble with prayer first thing in the morning, half asleep I would try saying some prayers, and it seemed a complete waste of time. Someone here said the same happens to him, and so most mornings he just says “thank you,” and gets out of bed, now that works for me as well. But I have heard a sponsor tear into his sponsee, because he said he prayed while lying in bed each morning, 'don't you have any respect, get out of bed and hit your knees' he shouted, sponsors like that I would like to hit somewhere other than the knees, it's personal, and nobody should instruct another on how to connect with their higher power.
For me just fiddling around on you tube listening to various spiritual speakers, some I couldn't stand, but some like Joyce Myer seemed to make more sense, didn't matter if she referred to the bible often, I took what I wanted and so forth, she spoke a lot about being happy and worry free, I wanted that. Outgrew her and moved on to reading (or listening) to Richard Rohr and Tolle mostly now, all free and all good for my taste and where I am spiritually, but may not suit others. What I found, with very little time devoted to reading or listening, is the ability to spend my day 'connected' to, or just being aware of, a great presence whatever I do or wherever I go. And not some stupid punishing presence I need to be scared of, many of us have paid a high price, for being told when we were young, about some God who would punish us if we did wrong.
I just remembered an article from Barefoot Bob's site, on what happened when he asked a good old timer about this, I will end by copying that here.
The way it happened is not all that unusual in A.A. I had showed up for my first speaker meeting. I was a week and a half sober, all spruced up, wearing a clean shirt and a tie, and getting well!. You know how well we get in that first week! I still had a case of the Whips and Jingles, but I was getting well.
There I was in the Friendship Club, sitting in the back row so nobody would see me. This little dried up, disheveled, misfitting clothes little fellow sat down beside me. I kind of scrunched over and out of the corner of mouth, mumbled to the person on the other side, "My God, look at this one, he really needs help."
Much to my chagrin, when it came time to introduce the speaker for the evening, this dried up little fellow was the one who got up and went to the podium. At that time Joe Q. had about 20 years of sobriety. During his pitch something or another got my attention and I started listening. Maybe it was the glitter in his eyes, or the sense of peace and love that emanated from him, I don't know. Anyhow, he ended his pitch with The Touch of the Masters Hand, and it really reached me and I KNEW he had something that I wanted.
You know that I didn't have a lot of courage at that time, and I didn't want anybody to know that I DIDN'T KNOW, so I waited until everybody else had moved away from him, screwed up my courage, and kind of sidled up to him.
He stuck his hand out to me, and asked my name. I blurted out my name, and before I drew another breath said, "I know you've got it, but I don't know what it is you're talking about, this Higher Power thing, can you please define it for me?".
Joe laughed, and with that magnificent grin and eyes full of love said"BOB, FOR THOSE OF US THAT KNOW, NO EXPLANATION IS NECESSARY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T, NO EXPLANATION IS POSSIBLE, AND ONLY A DAMN FOOL WOULD ATTEMPT TO DEFINE IT. I DON'T PROPOSE TO BE A DAMN FOOL, BUT I CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO FIND IT FOR YOURSELF!"
With that Joe reached under the podium and pulled out an old wore out copy of the Big Book. He opened it to page 59 and stuck it under my nose and said "This is how you will find it."
I had to look, of course. That's the page the Steps are on. AND THAT'S THE WAY I FOUND IT!!
Joe's simple statement that I've put in capital letters above, but which Joe said to me in the gentlest of voices is what opened up the door so that I could throw out all of my old ideas that I had picked up from the dumping ground of others (and from my infinite wisdom of KNOWING that I'M RIGHT, that KNOW IT ALL attitude). I could now begin anew in a Lifetime of Sobriety. You see, I knew that I was the damn fool, and that I had failed in ALL my definitions.
Today I know that anytime anyone tries to define "Higher Power" to me, he is a damn fool, and whatever it is that he is trying to define, THAT ISN'T IT. This "Higher Power", My Boss that I work for today, handles things a whole lot bigger and more complex and more wonderful than any human being or group of human beings can even begin to define. All I really KNOW is, "IT LOVES ME and I LOVE IT."
Thanks again, Joe
Love and Peace,
Barefoot
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."