2nd meeting last night

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2nd meeting last night

Postby Jsalz16 » Tue Feb 28, 2017 1:34 pm

So, all very new to me and I'm trying to be open minded and give this a real chance.
I'm sorry, I'm sure it's still very early but I don't really get it yet.
There's no discussion in the meetings. People talk and tell their story but really don't get any feedback.
I tried reading some of the big book today. I found that it just pointed out things that I already know about myself. I am going to keep going to meetings for now and hope to get that ah ha moment that others seem to have. One thing that struck me when listening to others share. I constantly heard that they never wanted to go to AA because they really didn't think they were alcoholics. I knew and have known for a long time though. Personally, it was just so much easier to keep drinking than to put the work in to stop. Im a bit embarrassed to admit it but I'm still drinking. Both meetings I went to i actually had a little buzz on. I felt like such a fraud to these people around me. It was probably the worst anxiety I've ever experienced. I'm not sure why I decided to join this site and get this all out there. I guess maybe its the anonymous thing. Maybe I'm still not brave enough to share with people face to face yet. Anyways, thx for reading.
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Re: 2nd meeting last night

Postby Brock » Tue Feb 28, 2017 3:03 pm

Welcome here Jsaiz. Actually much of what you speak about is quite common, not getting it yet and the book perhaps not being what you expected. Also it's not uncommon for new people to have a drink for courage or to settle the nerves before attending, (but I am not encouraging that), I know three who did at the start, and are now respected members of my home group. Unfortunately just telling their story is also pretty common at meetings, the book says we tell the story so others can relate, followed by what we did about it and how well things turned out, i.e. speak about the solution, and give the new man a good dose of hope to carry home with him.

As you get into the book in chapters like 'there is a solution,' you start reading the 'guts' of the program, it's not the easiest thing to understand, it's an instruction book more than a novel, and some of the wording is ancient. If you go on you tube and type in 'Joe & Charlie Big Book Study,' those fellows go through the book in a good and lighthearted way. Also you can type in 'AA speakers' and look for people like Chris R, or Sandy B, and loads of others, especially when I was new I found them most helpful.

Keep posting here as well and let us know how you are doing, you will find we enjoy replying, best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: 2nd meeting last night

Postby Jsalz16 » Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:01 pm

Thanks Brock, about to walk into 3rd in 3 nights. 1st one stone sober. Decided to write some things down to take with me incase I feel I'd like to say something. I have read alot in these last few days. I'm pretty obsessive in just about everything in my life. Imagine that! Anyways, I can't remember where I read it but it was something to the affect of looking forward to a day where you don't have a reason to say sorry or lie. That really hit home with me. Thx for your reply
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Re: 2nd meeting last night

Postby Duke » Tue Feb 28, 2017 8:18 pm

Welcome Jsalz16. Good for you. It's can take some time to connect with others at the meeting. The only certainty is that you won't if you don't go. So again, good for you for keeping at it. This place can be a good resource for you in between times. Don't hesitate to go back and look at older threads with topics that interest you.

You sound like me. I think I read every official piece of AA literature within the first couple of months. Nothing wrong with that. The program's about learning a new way to live, so reading all you can about how others have done it is very helpful.

I hope to see you around here for a long time to come.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: 2nd meeting last night

Postby Spirit Flower » Wed Mar 01, 2017 2:51 am

Welcome J

Free AA books and pamphlets found online here: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/aa-literature
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Re: 2nd meeting last night

Postby positrac » Wed Mar 01, 2017 3:03 am

The worst part of change to me is the fact I am vulnerable to whatever and whomever is in that new change and it took me 3 times (about 3 years) to finally accept I had to change up my life and the worst part was I was in my youth at 23 and I was supposed to be high speed low drag living the dream of my peers and youth and I failed and I was alone. Not a real good talking point because those other idiots wanted me to drink and fail as to have something to use against me and or enable had I allowed that once I accepted I was totally powerless over alcohol and my life was un-manageable.

it is said that if you point your head in a direction your azz will follow and I'd highly suggest you keep going to the meetings and in time this message will become clearer. And another thought is if we got what was being said in those meetings on the first try I believe a couple of things would happen.
1) We wouldn't have a drinking and thinking problem, and
2) We'd go out and drink ourselves to death just to prove we didn't have a problem as it was them and not us!

Cut yourself a break and if you allow you will see and feel better tomorrow and the next day and so on. What I can say after 27 years is I am not perfect, not cured, not a poster child of the "right kind of sobriety"; but I am my right kind of sober and I kept coming back and it has been that one miracle I never thought I'd be able to learn.

So hope is you can.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
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Re: 2nd meeting last night

Postby Roberth » Wed Mar 01, 2017 10:10 am

Hello Jsalz16 and welcome. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. The “ah ha” moment, which there are many actually come from doing what the book says. The book is actually an instruction manual, a person can read the instructions all they want but until the start using the tools not much happens.
There is more sobriety in my feet then in my head. I just kept showing up and doing some of the thing that were suggested and I stay sober for some reason. What AA offers is a program of action that can solve the problem of drink if you are willing to do a few simple things.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
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Re: 2nd meeting last night

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:28 am

ere's no discussion in the meetings. People talk and tell their story but really don't get any feedback.

We are to share our experience, strength and hope so we can help the new-comer relate and make a decision on whether to apply the 12 steps for themselves. Stick around, and visit different kinds of meetings. Hopefully you can find a sponsor who can help you work the 12 steps and tap into the power the big book talks about.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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