Upcoming Holidays

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Upcoming Holidays

Postby jjjjiggs » Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:29 pm

Hello- first time here- I am not sure I am in the right place- but need help :)
My Sister lived with us for a year- before my husband and I totally clued in and got out of denial that she has a serious alcohol abuse problem, but really is some form of being an alcoholic. Eventually after countless issue and drama, we asked her to move out. Now there is no contact between her and any family at all. With the holidays coming up, I still want to reach out to her to join us and have some sort of meaningful relationship, at the very least, communication. The last time we heard from her (2 months ago).

We are a very large family, and my question is: Is it reasonable to invite her to come here for an evening and insist she have no alcohol? I can't get past letting her make that decision herself, as I feel like I am contributing to her problem. Kind of hypocritical.

I appreciate any insight, thanks.

J
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Re: Upcoming Holidays

Postby PuppyEars » Fri Nov 11, 2016 4:10 am

Hello welcome to the forum!
If your loved one is that serious of a drinker, me thinks it doesn't matter what you insist, they will find a way to sneak a few behind your back. At least that is what I did when in similar situations.
I don't have a full answer but hope to maybe move you closer to a solution.
Happy holidays.
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Re: Upcoming Holidays

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Nov 11, 2016 6:13 am

if you take away alcohol from an alcoholic, you are left with a mean being. If you want to have such person around, its a decision you have to make.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Upcoming Holidays

Postby Spirit Flower » Fri Nov 11, 2016 6:56 am

Its only one night. Accept her as she is.
...a score card reading zero...
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Re: Upcoming Holidays

Postby jjjjiggs » Fri Nov 11, 2016 9:40 am

Thanks for the insight. All of your responses have very good points. In the end, I am not sure if she will even reply to our contact or actually show up.

Thanks for your help
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