Blonde joke ....

[Noels]

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself. She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring. Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while another blonde inside the car is saying, "A little more to the left ... a little more to the right!..."

[Brock]

Blondie goes to her first meeting and listens intently to the advise they give, on the way home stops at the bar and orders a drink, then another and another, barman says but mam you haven't touched the first drink you ordered but you drank all the others, well you know the rest, it's the first drink that gets you drunk !

[Noels]

excellent I'm starting a folder right now on my phone with clean alcoholic jokes also. Thanks Brock. Havent collected any yet sorry so your one is special as its the first Been too busy working the program but jeah, I think its time to put some fun in also

[Feeya]

Blondie goes to her first meeting and listens intently to the advise they give, on the way home stops at the bar and orders a drink, then another and another, barman says but mam you haven't touched the first drink you ordered but you drank all the others, well you know the rest, it's the first drink that gets you drunk !

LOL

[avaneesh912]

it's the first drink that gets you drunk !

Its the engine not that caboose!

[Brock]

Hypochondriacs..jpg

[Feeya]

Hypochondriacs..jpg

LOL! That's awesome!

[PaigeB]

Excellent!

[Reborn]

Two alkies are out in a lake fishing. They run out of beer and one of them picks up an empty and says "man wouldn't it be greatest if I rubbed one of these bottles and a genie popped out"...just as he said that POOF out pops a genie. "I will grant you one wish and one wish only"...the alkie thinks about it and says "I wish this whole lake was filled with beer"...The genie grants his wish and turns all the water in the lake to beer. The alkie's friend looks at him and says "Ah man now we have to piss in the boat!"

[positrac]

Two alkies are out in a lake fishing. They run out of beer and one of them picks up an empty and says "man wouldn't it be greatest if I rubbed one of these bottles and a genie popped out"...just as he said that POOF out pops a genie. "I will grant you one wish and one wish only"...the alkie thinks about it and says "I wish this whole lake was filled with beer"...The genie grants his wish and turns all the water in the lake to beer. The alkie's friend looks at him and says "Ah man now we have to piss in the boat!"

Flavor saver....... ha ha good one.

[Brock]

This was shared by John T in the membership posting area today -

An Irishman has been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand 1 more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries 1 more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting loudly. "So, you’ve been out drinking again!" "What makes you say that?" He asks as he puts on an innocent look. "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again." 

[Noels]

oops brilliant