The Ms. Hyde in me

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Re: The Ms. Hyde in me

Postby kdub720 » Mon May 02, 2016 11:17 am

This is an interesting topic. I struggled with drinking for so long because I would drink a lot and not become Mr Hyde. I would be happy and fun, then fall asleep with minimal consequences. My girlfriend; however does not drink much yet had a Mr. Hyde experience on her birthday. I wanted to record her, but did not want to invade her personal space and figured we could talk about it in the morning. She did not remember a thing, I told her about some of the things that went on, she did not believe me until receiving confirmation from another friend. I told her if had had recorded it she would probably never want to drink again. Since she has limited her number of drinks, I want to ask her for permission to film her if it ever happens again so she can see for herself. This way I feel like I will not be invading her privacy.
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Re: The Ms. Hyde in me

Postby Noels » Wed May 18, 2016 11:46 am

My feelings on this matter is that we all in general have a Jeckyl and Hyde - i.e a good and a bad. (see the " two wolves " I posted under another thread a while ago). Having alcohol possibly just made it easier for Hyde to come to the fore as we could no longer maintain our " pose " and keep it suppressed.
Working the steps and restoring our connection with our Creator helps us to " feed " the good wolf but if we don't keep up the connection and possibly more importantly, furthering our connection, the bad wolf / Hyde is sure to get a shot at showing his face again.
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Re: The Ms. Hyde in me

Postby Feeya » Sun Jun 05, 2016 11:45 am

Noels wrote:My feelings on this matter is that we all in general have a Jeckyl and Hyde - i.e a good and a bad. (see the " two wolves " I posted under another thread a while ago). Having alcohol possibly just made it easier for Hyde to come to the fore as we could no longer maintain our " pose " and keep it suppressed.
Working the steps and restoring our connection with our Creator helps us to " feed " the good wolf but if we don't keep up the connection and possibly more importantly, furthering our connection, the bad wolf / Hyde is sure to get a shot at showing his face again.
Love and light
Noels

That is how I see it too!
I believe that I have Jeckyl and Hyde in me at all times... while Jeckyl is here, Hyde 's doing push ups in the back of my head... when I drink I feed Hyde and she ultimately wins over!
Thanks for the thread, it made me think!
One day at a time.
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Re: The Ms. Hyde in me

Postby Barbara D. » Sun Jun 12, 2016 11:28 am

This topic really took off, Ann! I zeroed in on the basic idea of recovery not making me this wonderful person I thought I "should" be in sobriety. Drinking was my reward, my escape, because I couldn't live up to my own expectations in the first place. Now there's a viscous circle pulsating in and out of reality.

I guess I look at Ms. Hyde as a negative conglomeration of various basic instincts taken to extremes. If my drunk was unsuccessful and I didn't just pass out after I finished taking care of my responsibilities, I'd get hostile and verbally abusive in partial or complete black-outs. Others told me what I said and did...and it was my truth blown all out of proportion, things I could not say or do sober. When I began to work the Steps and accept myself as I am, getting honest was a life saver. I don't look at alcoholism as an evil entity inside me. I look at it as the allergy that forced me to change the way I operate. I do believe that it is a disease and is dormant as long as I don't take that first drink or try to play god.

If I described a good woman to you, I would not fit the bill. Getting sober and developing spiritually did not turn me into a socialite, make me compassionate, run out and volunteer for charities, or transform my personality into a caregiver. I raised my sons the best I could and have satisfying relationships with them now, took care of my handicapped Mom for 6 years after my Dad died until she died, was active in Recovery service work the 1st 15 years. But when I passed through those life stages, I found out I really don't enjoy little kids or have any desire to take care of sick people. My service work is just suiting up online and sharing my ESH. I'd much rather do yard work or take care of office work. In spite of having an extroverted streak, I am a loner in retirement. Mostly, I like it!!! It's okay that my obsessive, compulsive behaviors were kind of the opposite of most of the folks I met in AA & NA: I still live on a budget, am under-sexed, value self-sufficiency...hopefully within healthy perimeters. :lol:

Today, I am so thankful that I found a way of life, a framework, and it's okay to be me! When I feel Hyde stirring, a 10th Step will take care of her. I'm not bad, trying to get good, right Ann? Barbara D., alcoholic
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Re: The Ms. Hyde in me

Postby KathyAnne » Mon Jun 13, 2016 4:18 am

Wow what a great share Ann2 Thankyou I found it very helpful.
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Re: The Ms. Hyde in me

Postby ann2 » Mon Jun 13, 2016 5:17 am

Thanks Barbara, thanks KathyAnne, thanks everyone! Geez a 5-year old share re-emerges. Love the forums.

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
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