first slip

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first slip

Postby krisjsimpson » Wed Aug 22, 2007 9:46 am

hi I am kinda new to the program, I should have been sober for 100 days last friday but I had my first slip, I thought that things would get easier as time goes on but , it isn't. I realize that my slip was because I got lazy in the program, but even with workin the program things still don't seem to be getting better, I was just wondering if anyone had some advise, on how they deal with the stresses of wanting to drink

Postby whitmore_fan » Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:10 am


I'm sorry to hear that you had a slip, but it's good to see that your asking for help and that it was only a blip in you recovery.

The first thing to remember is that although 100 days is an absolutely fantastic achievement, in the long term it is still a relatively short time. And I believe a particularly tough time too. You are still adjusting to a new life without your best friend.

I had a slip after about 90 days. What I found was that in the beginning it was easy, I was so elated to have finally got off my butt and done something positve about an affliction that was ruining my life. I went to a lot of meetings, meet a lot of good people and felt good for the first time in many, many years.

That did not last and from conversations with many people it seem to be fairly normal. The initial elation passes and the true reality of the task begins to take a grip. This is when you really need friends and support, to focus the mind on recovery.

I had one slip, one night and then got straight back to the meetings. I talked to a lot of poeple, got a sponsor and started to work the steps. I contributed more in the meetings too, made the coffee became literature secretary. It all helped me realise what recovery was about, this is something that we simply do not understand in the early months.

Someone once said to me that recovery only become harder as time passes not easier. In many respects this is true. I don't mean in terms of cravings and a feeling of dispair but in terms of controling you thoughts, maintaining your recovery, practicing the steps on a daily basis and keeping clear of conplacency.

After nearly four years of sobriety now, my mind still wander off to thoughts of "was I really that bad", "could I have a drink", "do I really need AA" etc. etc. If you can get some sobriety behind you, beat the cravings and work the steps these are the real gremlins that need to be controlled (in my case anyway!). This is the mental obsession that last far longer than the cravings.

My advice in dealing with the stresses of cravings.

1) make sure you're niether thirsty or hungry.
2) try to steer clear of areas where alcohol is around. If you have to go into a bar then know what you going to order before you go in. With me "diet coke" is now an automatic reation to when anyone asked me what I would like.
3) get involved with AA. Contribute to the meetings. Meet poeple outside of meetings for a coffee.
4) always have people you can talk to when you need to. People give out telehone numbers so use them.
5) Try to find a sponsor, even if it is only a temporary sponsor and start to work the steps.
6) maybe try to focus on something new, like exercise (runnig for instance), maybe a new hobbie - keep busy.
7) keep it in the day, or even in the hour if need be. Don't think further than that at this stage. The past is done, you can't change that. The future is not here yet so there's no point worrying about it. All we have is now.

Good luck, I hope some of this was helpful. Life does improve. I have said many times in posts that my life today far exceeds my expectations when I put down my last drink. I have never been happier and I wish the same for eveyone.

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Re: first slip

Postby Blue Moon » Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:13 am

krisjsimpson wrote:hi I am kinda new to the program, I should have been sober for 100 days last friday but I had my first slip, I thought that things would get easier as time goes on but , it isn't. I realize that my slip was because I got lazy in the program, but even with workin the program things still don't seem to be getting better, I was just wondering if anyone had some advise, on how they deal with the stresses of wanting to drink

"First" slip :?: How many do you intend to have :?: :wink:

Not sure if anyone's mentioned it yet, but you really don't have to drink any more :idea:

"Working the program" is not the same as "going to meetings". I know a lot of people in AA seem to think it is, but it's not. "Working the program" means taking the Steps, starting at 1 and taking them in the order they're written.

That's the advice I have on how to deal with the stresses of wanting to drink. The fact you have those stresses means you're suffering from alcoholism. It has nothing to do with the drinking, everything to do with the obsession for alcohol, the self-delusional belief that somehow alcohol makes anything any better.

The Steps help us to get rid of a bunch of garbage, get closer to our Higher Power, and feel useful to others. As a result, we no longer even want to drink no longer feel a need to waste much time fantasising about it.

As far as I can tell, meetings alone do not achieve this objective for anyone.
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Postby Holly96 » Fri Aug 24, 2007 7:51 pm

thats what I noticed too. "had my first slip".....

are you planning on having more?? :o As Bluemoon dont have to ever drink again!! The rest of the suggestions people gave are great. This program is simple, but not all the time easy. It takes work. Work on the steps of at a time....starting with #1......and in order...

Glad your back...

try to give as much to recovery, and working (really working) the program of you would give if you were out there drinking.

heres an example....some people at my old home group use to complain that the meeting is so far away.. Some one reminded them....."how far would you drive for a drink"....??

That always got me thinking too...and still does... really good point.

I would have driven to the end of the earth for a drink back then.....thats how much energy I need to put into someting that can save my life now!

don't leave before the will be amazed.

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Postby ann2 » Fri Aug 24, 2007 11:28 pm

I thought that "had my first slip" was a way of saying "I was doing great until now! This hasn't happened before" not necessarily a way of planning future slips.

Some days are milestones and extra stressful. The important thing to remember is that whatever you are feeling at a particular moment, it will be gone the next day. Almost guaranteed.

When it's not, which is what happened to me at 6 months sober when I stayed in bed for 3 days, I went to get a professional assessment and agreed to admission in a psych unit, where I stayed for 5 weeks and came out with a diagnosis.

Something wasn't right -- no matter how sober I was or how much I tried to follow the directions in the Big Book, listen to my sponsor and be active in meetings, I had a problem that needed outside attention.

A.A. doesn't take away the problems. But, it made it possible for me to take care of them. Without sobriety, I'd never have had a chance to recover from my mental illness along with my alcoholism.

Things feeling bad or going wrong don't mean you're not doing the program correctly. Probably just the opposite. So don't beat yourself up for not instantly getting the results of people who have 10, 20, 30 years away from the drink. They had to walk through each tough time too.

You're doing what you need to do. It's always one day at a time. I'm not saying it doesn't get easier -- many things do -- but facing the tough things can be very tough at first. Just stay open to your higher power's help, because it is there, always.

Welcome back!

Love from Finland,

"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
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Postby keithd » Sat Aug 25, 2007 9:57 am

A slip is not a step in recovery like i've heard in meetings. A lot of people pick up just one white chip. If today is as good as it ever gets it's still a whole lot better then the day i frist walked through the doors of AA. I would rather be a gratful recovering alcohlic then a miserable drunk. I don't see the word lazy in step 1.
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