praying for others

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praying for others

Postby Richard C » Wed May 30, 2007 10:04 pm

I don't know...My HP's done such a great job with me I 've been asking him or her to look out for others. A friend of mine is haviing a baby soon, another is doing something she knows she shouldn't, someone new wants to sober up, that kind of thing.

Previously, I would have tried to take on these responsibilities myself, especially where my big headed opinion could butt in; meddling, rumourmongering, character assassination, you know the drill. trying to control things.

My ex-drinking buddy, who was a good friend to me long ago, has fallen by the wayside. Alcoholism has led him to lose his new baby and wife, all hopes of earning money, the respect of all his friends, he's a crystal meth addict now, you name it. I bought him a meal a couple of weeks ago and listened to his stories and his complete dishonesty for an hour or so. He's not interested in trying meetings.

I guess this guy is looking at Jail, Institutions, or Death, and where I live they aren't big on putting people in institutions for drug and alcohol offences. They could give him a blood test and lock him up indefinitely.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've lost hope for him. I pray that he will have the willingness to start the road to recovery, but my feeling is, that my Higherpower works for me, and me alone. He's really on his own, and all I can do is stay sober and hope to be there if he wants to try.

I'm a bit confused on this subject. If you have any similar experiences with watching someone die while you recovered, you could share them here. Thanks
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Postby ann2 » Thu May 31, 2007 11:56 am

Hi Richard, you sound so clear and it's very helpful to read you. I agree my hp works with me. Something that helps me is what my first sponsor told me -- _________ has a higher power too.

It's an Al-Anon thing I guess, because we have no control over alcohol. Even though we've found the solution for ourselves, and we have perhaps appeared to succeed in passing that on to one or two, it's up to this person's own understanding of God if and when he or she "gets" it.

in the long run, though, it's not me who has ever helped anyone, it's always the group, and I just want to be in the group that's helping.

But that's neither here nor there. Something that occured to me was a comment I ran across in my meditation reading, that getting myself centered and being open to the God of my understanding (a moment-to-moment dedication) is the best thing I can do to help the rest of the world. And that includes whomever I am worried about right now.

So thanks for bringing me back to earth regarding who else my mother. Me fretting about her behavior and lack of self-care isn't going to make things better for her.

What will, I may ask, and yet, then I have to start defining "better" according to *my* perspective, which is most assuredly not the definition her higher power would use. Her higher power would tell my higher power, so, is Ann doing what she needs to do for her sobriety today?

Which today includes allowing myself to feel the compassion and tenderness welling up in my heart for that impossible woman (who got on a plane with a fracture in her leg which then swelled up....sigh). Not being afraid to admit my powerlessness, first, and secondly letting that care and concern be part of the love I want to give others.

Thanks Richard for your post.

"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
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Praying for Others

Postby raechaelp » Thu May 31, 2007 2:05 pm

Hi Richard,

I watched my cousin die of this disease. It was really hard. He picked up on a Friday and shot himself on a Sunday. We were raised in the same crib practically and had very similar problems with life.

The one thing I took away from that experience is how my HP was looking out for me and that I am one of the fortunates that have kept coming back to this program trying to stay sober. My cousin's HP took him home. AA didn't take the first time, not even the second time, but it seems to be working in my life now by the grace of god.

On the other hand, my neighbor and I are very close. I stopped drinking just a few days before she did. When I had enough she was still tossing them back right in front of me and destroying her life. That was very hard to watch. She was really drunk one night and talked about ending it all and I was so powerless. She is sober now and I am so proud of her. The program found her just like the program found me.

It really takes being sick and tired of being sick and tired to reach up and out to a HP. Hopefully your friend will realize that his answers aren't in drugs or alcohol but they are in a program of recovery. I would just continue to set a good example and pray for him while keeping a safe distance from the distruction of this disease.

Love, hugs, and sobriety
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