I think I have a problem, well I know I do

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Pink_lemonade23
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I think I have a problem, well I know I do

Post by Pink_lemonade23 » Fri Apr 12, 2019 8:48 am

I didn't drink for 25 years, then started. At first it was only gradually, now it's horrendous, I don't know who I am anymore. For months I've tried to convince myself I don't have a problem - I don't drink everyday, I'm not physically dependent. I binge drink 3 nights per-week. I blackout every time, have one night stands and do things I'm utterly ashamed of. I'm starting to get known really as a big drinker in my friends group. I crave alcohol a lot, that warm, loose feeling it gives you, but I always go past that. This weekend I am staying in, so that I'm not in a position where I'm likely to drink, but all I can think about is wine.

Over the past year I have lost so many relationships due to my drinking habits. I've tried to go sober so many times telling friends I'm no longer drinking etc that it's actually started to become a bit of a joke. I manage maybe 7 days at most, then i'm blackout drunk again. I'm now at a stage where being sober scares me, who will I be? How will I have intimate relationships, summers coming etc....

How do you know if you're an 'alcoholic', can you be if you're just a binge drinker?

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PaigeB
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Re: I think I have a problem, well I know I do

Post by PaigeB » Fri Apr 12, 2019 10:17 am

Hummmm - I don't know... We don't diagnose others. You will have to decide for yourself. I have a couple questions:
Binging 3x a week? Do you mean 3x a year?
Blacking out is a pretty serious physical state - Have you Googled it?
How do you feel when you only have 2 or 3 drinks and then go home?
Have you read any of the book Alcoholics Anonymous or been to any AA meetings?

Here's the rub though... you said, "I'm now at a stage where being sober scares me, who will I be? How will I have intimate relationships, summers coming etc...." I can tell you that I found out that normal drinkers - even binge drinkers - do not think about alcohol the same way I do. Ask a normal drinker - say someone at work or maybe the clerk at the grocery store - if they wonder what they will do regarding drinking because summer is coming or if they have ever had a blackout and I don't mean at Bingo. Talking about things that alkies think are "normal" makes the faces of regular drinkers... well... tilt their heads in some disbelief. I have found that alcoholics and normal folks just do not think about drinking the same way that alcoholics do. I still cringe when I think about dumping out a bunch of half full cans after a party - such a lot of careless people I drank with! What a waste! :shock: :| :?
Step 6 is "AA's way of stating, the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job... with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement." 12&12 Step Six, p.65

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avaneesh912
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Re: I think I have a problem, well I know I do

Post by avaneesh912 » Fri Apr 12, 2019 11:27 am

How do you know if you're an 'alcoholic', can you be if you're just a binge drinker?

Very simple. Try to stay stopped. Be also honest about how you feel. If you are miserable not drinking, that is also a sign of un-treated alcoholism.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Brock
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Re: I think I have a problem, well I know I do

Post by Brock » Fri Apr 12, 2019 4:46 pm

Welcome to e-AA Pink_lemonade
How will I have intimate relationships, summers coming etc.…
This forward thinking scared me as well, and just about everyone at meetings I have heard speak. Also because the AA program is based on spiritual principles, some people get scared AA will try to turn them into saints. I was worried about this, and maybe becoming some sort of non drinking nerd who had to stay home, and all fun would come to an end.

It is true I stopped going to some of the places I used to, there is no fun anymore in bars where I have to shout to talk to someone, but other than that, I and other recovered alcoholics do pretty much the same things as other folks. Our main text says - “our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, ...if we have a legitimate reason for being there.... That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings….”
I crave alcohol a lot, that warm, loose feeling it gives you, but I always go past that.

That’s what alcoholics do, and I used to wish I could just stop after a few drinks like other people, because I felt comfortable after a few, confident and not shy or scared of anything. The thing is AA made me feel that way as well, after I finished the steps, and it keeps getting better. It’s kind of hard to explain here, but the program has very little to do with stopping drinking, and everything to do with making us feel good without booze. I found a life way better than the old drinking one, and wouldn’t drink even if I had a choice to do so.

I will put some links to literature, please have a read when you have time, and ask any questions or make any comments you like here, we enjoy helping if we can.

Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

JeffS.
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Re: I think I have a problem, well I know I do

Post by JeffS. » Fri Apr 12, 2019 6:10 pm

I always tell people who think they have a problem to get and read the Big Book.

D'oh
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Re: I think I have a problem, well I know I do

Post by D'oh » Fri Apr 12, 2019 6:20 pm

The easiest that I have heard it (Alcoholism) described is.

1 If, when you drink, you don't control the Drink, the Drink controls you.

You described
I crave alcohol a lot, that warm, loose feeling it gives you, but I always go past that.
2 If when you drink, you get into Troubles.

You described
I blackout every time, have one night stands and do things I'm utterly ashamed of. I'm starting to get known really as a big drinker in my friends group.
I have lost so many relationships due to my drinking habits
Your Call.

ODAAT
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Re: I think I have a problem, well I know I do

Post by ODAAT » Mon Apr 15, 2019 6:18 am

Pink_lemonade23 wrote:
How do you know if you're an 'alcoholic', can you be if you're just a binge drinker?
Blackout drinking is a powerful indicator of alcoholism. Blacking out 3 times weekly, every week, is wayyyyy into alcoholism territory....

Making promises to not drink but then drinking anyway is another important indicator. Did your "staying in" solution this past weekend work?

One thing that I learned about recovery is that I needed help. I couldn't do it myself. You need help, PL23. Reach out for it.

Layne
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Re: I think I have a problem, well I know I do

Post by Layne » Mon Apr 15, 2019 7:44 am

can you be if you're just a binge drinker?
Yes, a person that is just a binge drinker can be an alcoholic.

Alcoholism is progressive. I was an alcoholic and knew that I was long before I got to the stage where if I was awake, I was drinking. I had a stage where I was just a binge drinker (although I knew by then that I was an alcoholic). Slowly over time, the period between binges got shorter and shorter until it was 24/7.

No one starts off at the bottom.

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