Doing the right thing at work

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Doing the right thing at work

Postby Shoreline » Thu May 17, 2018 2:50 pm

I have a huge resentment against my workplace because I feel like if I try to do the right thing, I'm punished for it and if I do the wrong thing, I'm rewarded. By the way I'm an electrician. A lot of examples I could give, here is a few. Gossip: everyone gossips about other coworkers, and it's like there's a competition on who can create the most drama. If you don't join in the gossip, then you don't "fit in", and other employees can make your life miserable, by avoiding working with you. Another example is stealing small amounts of copper or wire that can be sold for scrap, if you don't do this then everyone thinks you're too uptight.

I do honestly want to try to do the right thing. Gossiping, stealing etc is not conducive to my sobriety. But if I don't do these things, it will be even harder for me at work, and i will get even more angry and resentful at everybody. By the way this is my 4th job in 10 years, and all my workplaces were kind of like this, though this one is a little worse than others. Must be something about working in manufacturing. I've applied to many jobs but have not got any offers yet. Plus I'm worried, that at any job I get, I will have the same problems.
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Greywolf » Thu May 17, 2018 4:15 pm

First off you are for sure doing the right thing by being concerned.

Forgive me but I'm going to be blunt like I am with my "sponsees." No offense intended. Please take it as a sign I care. I am going to assume you are fairly new at the sobriety game since you went on line with this and not a face to face sponsor.

Here we go. Take a few moments to prioritize your concerns. I get that you have done this in a general way, now do it with the 3 factors you mentioned -- resentment, gossiping and the stealing. If you are new, resentment might be the hardest for you to deal with.

Perhaps someone will join in the conversation with better ideas than I have. Just know you are not alone. These problems and worse are in all our lives -- none of which is worth drinking over.
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Brock » Thu May 17, 2018 7:37 pm

There’s no doubt some of us have a more challenging recovery path to walk than others, as I’m sure you know some even find there is no job or family left when they finally decide to do what the program of AA asks. As I remember like a lot of us you have been in and out of AA and have learned the danger of resentment, I find when I have no choice but to be around people who do things like gossip, it’s good to do like the book says and remember that they aren’t well. I have found often if you don’t stoop to some peoples level of behavior, they think you are trying to act as if you are better than them, it’s the old ego acting up in them.

It may sound a little crazy advise, but if I had to engage in a little gossip to get along for the time being I might just do it, once in your heart you don’t mean it then it has no real effect, I might steal a little to get along as well, but put the money earned in the AA hat or give it to someone in need. It’s just a rough patch you are going through, and I personally feel speaking about it here is the right thing. We have had many members who found it useful to write about challenges they are facing, and for everyone who posts there are many more who just browse these forums to read, others may have similar situations and gain strength just knowing they are not alone. In the early days of AA, it was normal to put aside one meeting per week, for newer members to speak out about problems like these, and get advise from others.

The one sure thing about the AA program is it gets easier with time, easier to live serenely without wanting to drink, and easier to know how to handle life’s problems, you are doing fine. It sounds like a lame saying sometimes, but ‘this too will pass’ is a very good truth to hold on to.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby positrac » Fri May 18, 2018 3:29 am

Electrician right? Union or certified? I believe you have the skillsets to change up and move on and start fresh. Part of life in all aspects is idle gossip because we people just have a need to be stirring the pot. Your ethics, and values are yours and so make it worth the preservation and go to a new place and lastly it is a good idea to 1) Not drink, because they win! 2) Watch your back until you can move on. 3) get to meeting and find a sponsor that can assist you in how to handle stupidity better.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Layne » Fri May 18, 2018 9:51 am

I try my best not to gossip or steal even if it is to fit in. Peer pressure, being one of the boys, fitting in; are all things that led me down the path of drinking in the first place. It might seem like the easier softer way at times, but I only have to be with the people at work for eight hours a day. The man in the mirror is always with me, 24/7.
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Shoreline » Fri May 18, 2018 1:32 pm

Thank you everyone for your advice!!
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Blue Moon » Sat May 19, 2018 6:23 am

What finds its own level. If dishonest folk are uncomfortable being around an honest person, is that the fault of the person? It's not always easy, but I do try to raise the bar instead of lowering it.
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Tosh » Sun May 20, 2018 3:06 am

Shoreline wrote:I have a huge resentment against my workplace because I feel like if I try to do the right thing, I'm punished for it and if I do the wrong thing, I'm rewarded. By the way I'm an electrician. A lot of examples I could give, here is a few. Gossip: everyone gossips about other coworkers, and it's like there's a competition on who can create the most drama. If you don't join in the gossip, then you don't "fit in", and other employees can make your life miserable, by avoiding working with you. Another example is stealing small amounts of copper or wire that can be sold for scrap, if you don't do this then everyone thinks you're too uptight.

I do honestly want to try to do the right thing. Gossiping, stealing etc is not conducive to my sobriety. But if I don't do these things, it will be even harder for me at work, and i will get even more angry and resentful at everybody. By the way this is my 4th job in 10 years, and all my workplaces were kind of like this, though this one is a little worse than others. Must be something about working in manufacturing. I've applied to many jobs but have not got any offers yet. Plus I'm worried, that at any job I get, I will have the same problems.


My thoughts are that I suspect you're judging yourself too harshly. No-one expects you to be a perfect human being, and neither should you.

How to stop or reduce gossiping at work? How to stop stealing from your employees? And how not to alienate yourself from your co-workers? I personally don't have the answers, other than applying the principles of the steps to your everyday life, but you've got some great stuff to be working with. They're all great high-class sober alcoholic problems which kick the arse out of waking up in a wet bed, police cell or hospital.

I also think that a spiritual practise isn't about the 'woo woo', but in how we deal with everyday - mundane - problems such as yours.

For myself, I still struggle with actually getting to work, never mind what happens when I get there, so I think you're doing brilliantly. :lol:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Greywolf » Sun May 20, 2018 7:30 am

Tosh wrote:<skip some darn good stuff>

I also think that a spiritual practise isn't about the 'woo woo', but in how we deal with everyday - mundane - problems such as yours.

No, it's not about the 'woo woo' as you so eloquently put it. =wink
THE result of THESE 12 Steps is a spiritual awakening -- unless some conference has voted to change the 12th Step and I haven't heard of that happening.

Nor is there anything in the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous that says you must take the steps as directed by anyone -- including your sponsor, a "spiritual adviser" or even Bill W., himself.

When these steps are taken, the result is a spiritual awakening. With this awakening comes a to return to ones moral values, a readjustment to our "moral compass."

My experience is that answers come at a time I'm able to handle the answers. The timing of these answers is in God's time, not my time which is RIGHT NOW!! Trust God as you understand Him to provide answers when we have the sobriety and maturity to handle them. Until that happens "Keep on keeping on."

Tosh wrote:For myself, I still struggle with actually getting to work, never mind what happens when I get there, so I think you're doing brilliantly. :lol:

Letting Shoreline have a glimpse of your own humanity, eh? =biggrin
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Tosh » Sun May 20, 2018 1:33 pm

Greywolf wrote:Letting Shoreline have a glimpse of your own humanity, eh? =biggrin


Haha; no, I'm self-employed - I don't have a 'higher power' in the form of a boss who will discipline me if I'm late.

I really do struggle with getting to work sometimes. :lol:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Spirit Flower » Sun May 20, 2018 1:43 pm

I don't have a 'higher power' in the form of a boss who will discipline me if I'm late.
What about your wife, the other employee in your company?
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Re: Doing the right thing at work

Postby Tosh » Sun May 20, 2018 1:47 pm

Spirit Flower wrote:
I don't have a 'higher power' in the form of a boss who will discipline me if I'm late.
What about your wife, the other employee in your company?


She's as weak as me. :lol:

To be fair, we're not that bad, but some days, when the sun is shining and it's just too nice to work, we play hookey and go for a run together, then shower and head out to a local place for breakfast.

We're very naughty like that.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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