anonymity at a funeral

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anonymity at a funeral

Postby kaosxtech » Mon Feb 26, 2018 4:06 pm

This past 6 months has been rough for our local AA district. It seems like there are more people passing away then usual. It did bring up a question I had in my mind: Do we continue to protect a persons anonymity after they die? This man who passed that I was close to had over 40 years sober and was very active in AA. I had met his children at the alano club where he volunteered. It did not seem as though he would mind if we shared how he helped us in the program (and many did share at the funeral about this). Do I need to worry about the people left behind and changing their view of the departed by sharing that they were an addict or alcoholic (even if its about how they helped me)?
Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 62)
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Re: anonymity at a funeral

Postby Blue Moon » Mon Feb 26, 2018 10:17 pm

The man is not going to care either way, and would want to help newcomers. But be aware that family members etc. may be yet to come in.

So we do talk of the deceased member, but IME generally don't break "anonymity" in terms of last name. (Of course, this is a bit odd, as maintaining anonymity among ourselves in a meeting is as much against the Traditiom as announcing our AA membership in a TV interview.)
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Re: anonymity at a funeral

Postby positrac » Thu Mar 01, 2018 3:48 am

My grandmother was one of the early pioneers of women in AA back in 1955. When she passed she had 53 years sober and it was my honor to express that as she was one of my hero's because it gave me hope back in my early days of sobriety. I would say it is up to the family if they want to let the cat out of the bag....
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Re: anonymity at a funeral

Postby PaigeB » Thu Mar 01, 2018 12:07 pm

Anonymity is as much for the friends of the alcoholic as it is for himself and the family. If you say, "He was in AA 50 years!" Anyone who looks around the the odd variety of unknown people at the funeral will guess that all those folks must be from AA ~ Thereby outing all his contacts, but also that unfamiliar cousin who is NOT alcoholic, might be misunderstood to be one.

I think it is best to keep a lid on it.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: anonymity at a funeral

Postby Layne » Fri Mar 02, 2018 12:02 am

You could mention that he was a great inspiration, mentor, and role model that helped you work through some personal issues. Alcoholism and AA do not need to be mentioned.
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