Not to Beat a Dead Horse, But . . . .

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Re: Not to Beat a Dead Horse, But . . . .

Postby triumphantarch » Sun Feb 25, 2018 5:55 pm

kaosxtech wrote:It does not stop me from working with them but I am aware that they are not fully surrendering and thus not truly honestly working the steps.


I agree. For me to try to alter my reality in any way (which is what I was doing) is not surrendering, not in the least. The way I was smoking weed and carrying on as if I was sober reminds me of the part in the Big Book where it talks about the actor leading a double life. That's a formula for alcoholic relapse, in my opinion.
"In the end, everything's okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
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Re: Not to Beat a Dead Horse, But . . . .

Postby triumphantarch » Sun Feb 25, 2018 6:05 pm

Blue Moon wrote:It is not for anyone here to declare someone else is not sober simply because they choose to do something which you do not. An AA Group is about abstinence from alcohol.

ISTM the key words in OP were "as long as it didn't become a "problem" (however one defines that)". ISTM itheres a problem if I allow judgmental folks in AA to shackle me with their moralistic problem.

Some will argue the "medical" angle. Yet I know plenty in AA who had a hard time with medically-prescribed narcotics. This doesn't mean I must reset my sobriety-clock simply because I was also on medically-prescribed narcotics. It is for me, and only for me, to make such a determination. Just as my opinion is the only one that counts in the question as to whether I'm alcoholic.


Absolutely agreed. I should have been more clear in my original post that I don't give a hoot if anyone else uses marijuana and claims sobriety. Anyone's sobriety date is between him/her and God. For me, personally, I couldn't live with this. I mean, walking around a strange city unable to cross streets because I'm shaking so bad from terror and not knowing my own name when an Uber driver pulls over to see if I'm okay . . . um, that, to me, is not what I want my sobriety to look like. That ain't sober, for me It doesn't matter to me what anyone else does in AA. The important thing is that it's not eating at one's conscience. I know a number of folks in AA who can take medically-prescribed narcotics safely. I also know quite a few people who smoke pot in AA who are totally okay with their sobriety. It's none of my business. It was just pure dishonesty, for me. It's definitely not for me to say what is okay for anybody else. Sorry if my OP made it seem like I want to be in everybody else's business. Thanks for your insights!
"In the end, everything's okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
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Re: Not to Beat a Dead Horse, But . . . .

Postby positrac » Mon Feb 26, 2018 5:06 am

Weed------ I think the weed today is much more weird with strength than when I started smoking with my much older brother back in the mid 1974-76 time frame and I was a little kid on top of that. I got higher than a kite and I thought it was "cool" because the girls my brother knew liked it when I gave them shot guns! I received kisses and stuff that then grossed me out with girls, yet the attention was great. But the weed deal as I see it with a family member is they are totally and mentally outta control and the mental state is at least 10 years below their current age. They can't get off the weed because they can't deal with reality and won't face reality because it is everyone else's fault.

I have found over the years that people who trade one addiction for another will eventually relapse and have a hard time recovering because of the remorse and just feeling like a total failure. I am glad my weed days were just up to age 10 and I never really liked it after that and I trended more into alcohol because it was socially accepted even if a teenager back then.

We want to tell ourselves it is ok and if we keep it up we will believe it and then it is ok and really we are just lying to ourselves to get what we thought we wanted.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.
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Re: Not to Beat a Dead Horse, But . . . .

Postby triumphantarch » Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:46 am

positrac wrote: We want to tell ourselves it is ok and if we keep it up we will believe it and then it is ok and really we are just lying to ourselves to get what we thought we wanted.


It's truly remarkable how if we lie to ourselves enough, we will truly start to believe the lie. That's how I was able to convince myself this was okay for four long years. Unbelievable.
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