Meeting in a member's house

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Meeting in a member's house

Postby Slowtime » Thu Feb 15, 2018 1:31 pm

Hello all.

I live in a city where a group meets once a week in a members home. The group has other meetings at another venue during the week.

The Group Conscience and Business Meetings are also held in his home.

This doesn't make me feel comfortable.

Is this normal practise anywhere else?

Many thanks.
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Re: Meeting in a member's house

Postby Roberth » Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:45 pm

Hello slowtime. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. That is how this whole thing got started. It is more common in small towns now but it does happen in Los Angeles as well

What Is an A.A. Group?
As the long form of Tradition Three clearly states, “Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.”

From the AA Group pamphlet P-16
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Re: Meeting in a member's house

Postby Brock » Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:51 pm

This used to be the practice when AA first started, but this is the first time I am hearing of it in modern days, (however I see Robert saying it does happen). If the business meeting was not held there, you could just skip the other meetings that are.

To most people the person allowing their home to be used might seem like a good thing to do, but I agree with you, for me it’s more comfortable meeting at a place which doesn't belong to a member, we would feel more ‘equal.’ It might be being a bit strict with a tradition, but in #6 they do warn that problems of property and prestige, can divert us from the primary purpose. Since we are meeting on someones property, he may develop a feeling of prestige, for example an argument starts, he can say no arguing in my house, I will chuck you out if you continue, he can because it’s his house, if it was somewhere the group paid for he couldn’t.

To me the main problem with these things, is if you are the only one to object to it you look bad, so I would go along until hopefully somebody else might hint that they don’t like it, then you will have more than one voice against it.
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Re: Meeting in a member's house

Postby Blue Moon » Fri Feb 16, 2018 10:00 am

Slowtime wrote:I live in a city where a group meets once a week in a members home. The group has other meetings at another venue during the week.

The Group Conscience and Business Meetings are also held in his home.

This doesn't make me feel comfortable.

You're in a city... aren't other groups an option?

In AA's formative years, meetings were held in members' homes. But this was when 12th-Stepping meant that members decided who was in or out. I would not publicise a modern-day AA meeting held at my house, as I need to decide who comes into my house.

However, some committees do meet at homes. This is OK (so long as the host doesn't impose their will on decisions).

ISTM your problem may not be about the venue, but about the people involved.
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Re: Meeting in a member's house

Postby PaigeB » Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:43 am

I get uncomfortable in other people's homes as well. There is a natural deference to do as they wish I guess. And I had a literal call-my-sponsor moment when my old car leaked oil on her driveway! I wrongly perceived that her driveway was cleaner than my kitchen floor!

We now meet at a church.
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