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Re: The planned relapse

PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 9:15 am
by waller_alkie
I believe that I subconsciously planned my relapses, for sure. We lose the power of choice when we are in our disease, and when we are in our recovery, we receive the gift of choice. When I stopped going to meetings, stopped working the Steps, stopped actively seeking Recovery first, my disease got the upper hand in my mind/psyche. When that happens, all bets are OFF. My Sponsor used to tell me that she felt people made the choice to relapse, and I explained to her about this phenomenon that occurs when Recovery gets smaller than the disease in one's psyche. The alcoholic can't choose anymore. They aren't "technically" planning, they aren't "technically" choosing. "Technically", they are in their cups again, whether they are drinking yet or not. Which I believe the OP and the 30 year person, etc. said.

I am saying this after numerous relapses, but also numerous processes of working the steps. My issue was largely health-related/mental that has since been identified and addressed, and things are so much better/more stable now. I am working the Steps and Program again, working with others, etc., and loving every second of this amazing Program. But truly, I know every single morning, every single day, my job is to be aware of my job: keeping Recovery BIGGER than my disease in my psyche and in my life.

Re: The planned relapse

PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 10:16 am
by tomsteve
glad you recognized what happening.
imo, relapse ends with a drink- theyre pre meditated drunks. i was on one once myself and came real close to ending the relapse with a drink. felt good to get back into the solution