I just got home from the AA meeting.Before the meeting i I went to say hi to a this touchy feely woman and I extended my arm to give her a hand shake but she came at me with a hug that lingered.Later I was standing next to her and she held me around the waist.During the meeting she was sitting behind me resting her hands on my shoulders and rubbing my back and shoulders.This woman always feels the need to rub my back .I don't want to make a fuss because I don't want to upset her.I am so afraid of rejection by the group.This woman greeted me on my first meeting. Made sure I had her number and some other women's numbers.She suggestedtomsteve wrote:stella, you are allowed to set boundaries. and you dont have to be concerned with what others think of you. what others think of you is their own problem. you are allowed to stand up for yourself- it just takes some courage. if she gets offended by you protecting yourself,thats her problem.
courage is an amazing thing to have and use.
ive gone to meetings after a day of wrenchin on cars. all greased up. dirt/grease on my hands even after washing. ive had negative comments about it. the comments seriously stopped one day when someone brought it up before the meeting and i said," are you willing to come over and lend a hand with what im workin on so i can get cleaned up better beforehand? "
amazingly, no offer to help.
I volunteer to make coffee. It was a great idea because women would approach me
to thank me for my service. I didn't speak for my first 3 meetings and had trouble speaking for a bit after that. When I finally started talking, I had the feeling that everything coming out of my mouth was stupid. I was reassured time and again by this touchy feely huggy woman that this was not the case. Slowly that sunk in... that even if it was not what I wanted to say, it was always something that someone needed to hear. My shares are still less than 5 minutes , but I'm not self conscious about them anymore.Also, it was suggested to me by this touchy feely huggy woman to sit up front. She said that is where i will meet women that have got some time together and some the same as myself. When I sat up front I couldn't see the other women while talking. When I was in the back, I'd raise my hand to speak and all of a sudden there were 10 sets of eyes turned back looking at me. When I first started AA, I had a hard time putting myself out there as I was shy and scared. This touchy feely woman was the first to say Hi and Welcome .I'm a very private person (can ya believe it? *LOL*) and had a hard time fitting in with the women in my group.