1 November 1989

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1 November 1989

Postby positrac » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:47 am

Today in 1989 I woke up feeling like I’d been beaten with a drunken stick and I think at that time death would have been a lesser sentence that what I would be facing in the days, months of early sobriety.
I had just recently moved back “the world” after living in Japan for 3 plus years. Back in the day money talks and BS walks was the mantra of the new world I was now in and places like the Philippines and Thailand are havens for anything for a buck. I was able to get my drink on cheap and heavy in those places and if I could show up for work then I was ok. Smell, blood shot eyes, and or stability didn’t matter and so I had life by the stones and my supervisors couldn’t of been happier with my capabilities.
I am now in San Diego and what was normal overseas was not looked at with much enthusiasms and I was far outside my peer group in the drinking department and so I’d often end up back by myself as I could do as I pleased without push-back from more conservative drinkers.
Oct 31 1989 I started drinking really early in the morning and by the time the evening came I was in a bad way and yet I kept trucking. I remember I was asked to leave a bar and I started back to my room and the cops were called and or just cruising by and saw my drunk self and pulled over and they detained me. I was like butter and didn’t resist being detained and really didn’t want trouble because in my old world if the cops got involve in a “CTO” Courtesy Turn Over it meant you had a problem and I clearly was just drunk and had not been a problem up to that point. I am in and out of blackouts and I remember speaking Japanese and crying and then I’d forget and once I’d come back I’d go wild because I didn’t know what or why I was in a police station under bright lights!
I get back to my room and I lost my glasses, my left hand is in a bad way because I was hitting the back cage of the cop car and I did something to my hand because it took like nine months to fully heal and I ate aspirin like candy to keep the pain under control.
1 November 1989---- I wake up and I can’t move that doesn’t hurt and yet I gotta pee. I am in an old barracks and so I have to go down the hall and it was an effort. I crash and burn again and finally wake up because I was thirsty and so I chugged down a big Gatorade. That actually helped me recover to a point of getting up later in the afternoon and calling my boss about my adventures and what I thought I knew. I was able to go out and eat as I rarely ate when I drank and would go for days without eating. I smoked and drank and that was my nutrition. Monday comes and I am real quiet, I always kept a clean cut and squared away uniform with boots shines like glass because the first impression was the key to getting out of trouble and saving face back then. I go through the week knowing all hell is going come down on me and by Thursday it did and I was in the middle of a shitz sandwich! I almost got out of trouble and this old crusty warrant officer held me to the fire. We addicts have a way of using the same kind of lines with different words thinking it’ll work again…..! Not this time and I was now in a hurt locker.
I moved up the coast to the San Francisco bay area and I did go to rehab even though I hadn’t drank for many months and I was going to meetings every day because I was scared to lose my livelihood and had nothing to fall back on.
About 5 years ago after all these years I crossed paths with an old co-worker and I spoke of our early meeting and work and he explained to me that I almost got fired because I must of caused a real issue and had I lost the vote I was gone. Some people took a huge risk on my career, my capabilities and attitude as I was a good student and that kept me in the Navy. The next day I called both of those people to tell them how humble I was and for taking a chance on me because I was in no shape to be saved. They had forgotten my events until reminded and they were cool with my accomplishments and it healed my wonders of that early period I couldn’t recall.
I want to express thanks for reading my bed-time story and if you are new to AA, have doubts of why you are even trying this deal I would suggest just keep coming back and put the same effort into coming back as you did drinking and using and eventually you’ll see and receive the miracle that is spoken of in the Big Book. Now your miracle will be different than others and it is supposed to be and so comparing out with only lead you to doubt and fret over nothing because the burning bush doesn’t just appear one day for you.
You can achieve a life of being out of touch with addictions if you just keep the desire, never forget your last drunk and keep it real and life is so much more than I ever expected and I have my days like everyone else and I have fears, procrastinations and fail at times and succeed beyond my capabilities and so life is good.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: 1 November 1989

Postby Spirit Flower » Wed Nov 01, 2017 5:50 am

Congrats posi and thanks for being here. I like your shares.
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Re: 1 November 1989

Postby Brock » Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:06 am

Powerful story there Posi, thanks for posting it.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: 1 November 1989

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:34 am

Awesome.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: 1 November 1989

Postby PaigeB » Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:44 pm

I was sober for a time in 1989... In Iowa, but in Spirit that is a minor detail.

Congrats & AA Hugs. Thanks for sharing with Us.
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Re: 1 November 1989

Postby positrac » Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:16 am

Thanks all because this one is for the program and it is for all who question, feel that social and education is an issue and or what side of the tracks we came from. The beauty of AA is the common thread we all have and how we can relate to the outcomes of our best intentions, what is was like and how it is now!

What AA gave me was hope because you all said you'd love me until I could love myself and I freaked out because I didn't trust you all and nor did I need your pity..... :roll: But the joke was one me when I realized what the words and actions really meant and how if I got out of my way and allowed this simple program to work then miracles would happen and they appeared in small insignificant ways and it would take me a while to figure out what had occurred. I need unseen things to occur so I can stay humble. I use the left and right hand example as they aren't aware of what the other is doing then no one is the wiser.

I read a post that stirred me up because of the nature of the title of the thread and it reminded me of my early years because I didn't want to identify with yous because yous had a problem and I was having a rough time and it'll pass and I can get back to doing my thing.

Lastly I am a wee outspoken at times and I've earned it over the years and at times I want positive success of sobriety more than others want it and my passion for life and freedom of the vise is evident even if I do have a tiny bit of sarcasm attached.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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