Those 3 Magic Words...

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Those 3 Magic Words...

Postby Timothy3012 » Sun Aug 27, 2017 4:02 am

''I Don't Know.''

I seem to be saying this short, perfect sentence more and more these days. I love what the 12 and 12 talks about in the Step 1 chapter: We came to AA expecting to be taught self-confidence and then later learned that self-confidence was no good whatsoever. I spent many hours of my life before AA trying to fix myself with motivational youtube videos and self-help books...I absolutely devoured anything that tried to teach me to 'be strong-willed' and to 'value success above all else.' My ego loved it and grew and grew every time I listened to or read anything that told me I was strong and could conquer life by battering it into submission with self-will.

That way of thinking ended me up in hospitals, it caused me to be incapable of holding down a simple job anymore and it also resulted in more than one nervous breakdown. Driven by the merciless obsession to prove to the world I was important and valuable, I caused the complete opposite outcome to manifest in my life. By trying to be strong, I ended up broken.

I always 'knew' exactly what my goals were and would sacrifice my mental and physical health in attempting to get them. I actually remember saying these words while studying for the final year of my degree, 'I will die before I quit.' Yeh, this sounds admirable to the outside world, but in my life it very nearly came true!

I read this a few days ago and it hit me how relevant it is to my life today, 'Alice asked the Cheshire Cat, who was sitting in a tree, 'What road do I take?'' The cat asked, ''Where do you want to go?'' ''I don't know.'' Alice answered. ''Then,'' said the cat, ''It really doesn't matter, does it?''...'' I used to be convinced I knew where I wanted to go; I wanted to get the Degree, to get the important job, to get a beautiful girlfriend who would take care of my personal life. Little did I know that I was far too unwell to ever be capable of ever achieving the life I thought would suit me.

I completed the Degree and had the good job lined up, I was dating the type of woman I always thought would make me happy...and then, to the complete bewilderment of my entire family, I burned my life to the ground. After a pretty ridiculous drink driving incident, after my family witnessing me taking the morning drinks that I always thought we so normal, (I was a student, we're supposed to drink!); after the second woman in just a couple of years said these words to me, ''I want to see you again but never again if you're drunk''...it became clear I may have a problem with alcohol!

As I sit here writing this, my life situation is currently; I have no prestigious job, I am very single, I have very little money...and I've never been so content! I have a life today that actually has peace of mind in it and I've discovered that as long as I have peace of mind, I truly don't need all the other things to try and make me feel better. This peace is only given to me through the 12 steps of AA and the love and support of the Fellowship.

If you had told me a year ago this is what my life would look like, I never would have believed you. To be happy and to not have any of the things I had spent a lifetime convincing myself I needed in order to achieve happiness...

The chapter in the Big Book on 'Acceptance' being the answer is a profound shift in perception that I so desperately needed. If i trust that my God knows best and that He works all things for my good in the end, then I experience serenity. If i lay down my beliefs on what 'my good' looks like, then everything becomes acceptable. Only a year ago I thought my greatest good would be a life with enough money to drink every single day and to never have to look at my bank balance after a night out because I had enough 'financial security'. Now I see the truth to that; if I ever did have access to unlimited money in active alcoholism, I think I would have been not long for this world...

If my old ideas were so completely flawed, this shows me I can surrender to the new idea that I really don't know what is best for me or for anybody else. In surrender comes serenity. In those 3 magic words of, ''I DON'T KNOW'', comes peace with God, peace with the world and peace with myself. Something I never knew how to achieve before AA but was so desperately seeking all of my life...
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Re: Those 3 Magic Words...

Postby RyanjSp » Sun Aug 27, 2017 4:16 am

Whole, whole lot in that. Well said and was definitely worth being among the first few things I've read this morning. Thanks.
"No Ryan, the cake business is over. They will never ever trust you with the cake again."
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Re: Those 3 Magic Words...

Postby positrac » Mon Aug 28, 2017 2:45 am

Timothy3012 wrote:''I Don't Know.''
I read this a few days ago and it hit me how relevant it is to my life today, 'Alice asked the Cheshire Cat, who was sitting in a tree, 'What road do I take?'' The cat asked, ''Where do you want to go?'' ''I don't know.'' Alice answered. ''Then,'' said the cat, ''It really doesn't matter, does it?''...'' I used to be convinced I knew where I wanted to go; I wanted to get the Degree, to get the important job, to get a beautiful girlfriend who would take care of my personal life. Little did I know that I was far too unwell to ever be capable of ever achieving the life I thought would suit me.



Tim it does seem to be highly over-rated and yet root cause of surrender can set us in the right places for those moments in life when we need to mature, grow stronger spiritually, and also handle life on its terms!
I like talking about God and about scripture as it also helps and reminds me that in this life we all are about the same and we are all flawed. Why we are here I must admit I haven't a real clue as I don't deserve to be sober and yet I was picked! In my early years I fought that idear and even resented it as I was never good enough. Now I see it as I am good enough and thankfully I was smart enough via Gods grace to surrender my obstinate ways.

I reckon in time you can inspire those in AA that are new and confused to let go and let God. I lived with the Brits for a period of time and they were a bloody mess with the drink and all of the other lewd things and I thought of how blessed I was to know I wasn't drunk and or making a spectacle out of myself every time I drank.

Thanks for a sound post of reminder of what it was like and what it is like now.

Cheers
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: Those 3 Magic Words...

Postby clouds » Mon Aug 28, 2017 10:23 am

Yeah, for sure, just a little humility, like the words "I don't know" can go a long way to setting us on the spiritual path and continued sobriety.

I like how you shared this about 'self confidence' not being of use when it comes to finding a new way of living with dependence on God instead of our finite selves.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Those 3 Magic Words...

Postby Lunalele » Thu Aug 31, 2017 2:46 pm

Thank you for that.
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Re: Those 3 Magic Words...

Postby kdub720 » Fri Sep 01, 2017 10:14 am

Dang, This was powerful.
Giving up knowledge is great. I was just thinking this at work the other day, "I do not know alot of things." And I should not be expected to know. It is a hummility thing to accept that you do not know. Being complacent with the term "I don't Know," show confidence in yourself and in the future and Gods plans. This was a great talk for the morning. Thanks again guys.
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Re: Those 3 Magic Words...

Postby Cristy99 » Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:55 pm

Timothy 3012 wrote:
In surrender comes serenity. In those 3 magic words of, ''I DON'T KNOW'', comes peace with God, peace with the world and peace with myself. Something I never knew how to achieve before AA but was so desperately seeking all of my life...


All I can say is "WOW!!!"

Those moments when I have to lift my jaw off the floor are not often...thank you so much for this one Tim!!

"IN SURRENDER COMES SERENITY"

WOW
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Re: Those 3 Magic Words...

Postby Cristy99 » Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:59 pm

Positrac wrote:

"I recon in time..."


Hahaha!! This is my friend Positrac, the country hick from Texas.... Love it!! :lol: :wink:
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese proverb
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