Emotional Sobriety

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Emotional Sobriety

Postby stacylou » Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:03 am

Hi...I was wondering if someone could please explain to me the definition of the term "emotional sobriety" or direct me to a resource that defines/explains it. Is it possible to have 20 or 30-plus years of sobriety and still not be emotionally sober? If you are not emotionally sober, does that mean that you are still ruled by your character defects?

Thanks!
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Re: Emotional Sobriety

Postby Brock » Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:40 am

Nice question. I don't believe it just means being ruled by your character defects, at the meetings I attend I see all sorts of alcoholics, and some with the most years of sobriety are unfortunately to my mind bad advertisements of what this program promises, it seems those promises don't come true for everyone. No doubt still having defects of character plays a part, but some folks just like to complain about everything and generally look unhappy. To me it lies in how much we develop spiritually, we do the steps for the experience, life gets better the more we develop on that.

I found where this topic came up some years ago, it starts with a letter from Bill Wilson on the subject, which I believe is partly about the depression he suffered, the link to that is -
http://www.e-aa.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=8906
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Re: Emotional Sobriety

Postby Spirit Flower » Fri Aug 11, 2017 2:19 pm

AA World Services publishes a book called "Emotional Sobriety" Nice read, but there is no formal definition of emotional sobriety.
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Re: Emotional Sobriety

Postby Cristy99 » Thu Aug 17, 2017 8:07 am

I have wondered and wondered about emotional sobriety as well. I found a talk on an application on my phone I have of AA. MAN!!! This talk presented by a man named TOM B. has really opened my eyes. He doesn't come out and give a nice, "to the point" definition of emotional sobriety...maybe it is just too complicated a subject for a precise definition...I don't know. But the speaker is outstanding. I keep listening to it over and over!! The AP for the Iphone is called AA History. It's on the 2nd section titled "AA speaker tapes from Alcoholics Anonymous Vol. 1" The title is "Emotional Sobriety and Perfectionism."

aa-comes-of-age-app-14.jpg


I don't know if that will get you there, I am not computer savvy!!
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Re: Emotional Sobriety

Postby Blue Moon » Thu Aug 17, 2017 9:36 am

The dictionary has 2 definitions of sober as a verb. One definition is to become calm, steady, quiet.

As someone else mentioned, there's no formal definition of "emotional sobriety" per se. But in general terms, it relates to becoming free of the emotional characteristics that typically result in drinking (eg anger, resentment, fears, etc. ) The opposite of those symptoms equate to sobriety as a mental state of recovery from alcoholism. AA's Big Book does say that or attitude and outlook towards life itself will change - if we do the actions necessary to bring this about.

So the important thing to know is that alcoholism, and recovery therefrom, really has nothing to do with alcohol. Alcohol itself is not the problem.

I'll say that again: alcohol is not the problem.

It's not the feeling itself that's sober or not, but how the individual handles and reacts to the feeling. I prefer to equate it to emotional intelligence, or the extent to which emotions are dictating behaviour.

So yes, some people genuinely are more sober than others in their deportment, regardless of dry-time.

This can be affected by other factors, eg diet, sleep, exercise, etc. On that basis, some days are more intelligent than others ;)
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Re: Emotional Sobriety

Postby Roberth » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:19 am

hello stacylou. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. There are probably as way many different ways to look at this as there are alcoholic opinions lol. I could be so far off base on this as a person can be but when I stopped struggling with doing thing my way something strange happened. I found something that I didn’t know existed. It was peace of mind, the calmness knowing thing are going to be okay no matter which way things turned out.
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Re: Emotional Sobriety

Postby Brock » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:59 am

Very happy that Cristy recommended a speaker, Tom B is first class, and also there are many others who speak on the subject of emotional sobriety. In looking for these recorded speakers, I find it simplest to just go to you tube and type in something like 'aa emotional sobriety,' you then get a list of speakers on the subject including Tom B. It can be used for information on many other AA subjects as well, we are lucky to have these facilities at the touch of a button, and should use them. I found them especially useful in my first couple of years, and still go back now and then to listen, particularly to the old 'firebrand' Chris R.
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Re: Emotional Sobriety

Postby Spirit Flower » Thu Aug 17, 2017 2:20 pm

Bill Willson wrote a letter about emotional sobriety. You can find it copied here:
viewtopic.php?f=36&t=16330&p=114135&hilit=emotional+sobriety+grapevine#p114135
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Re: Emotional Sobriety

Postby desypete » Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:02 pm

the longer i have been around the more simple i try to make it all
i am not interested in quotes from wise old sages about how to get to a high off place in the cosmos

i am more interested in the fact i have not had a drink today, which means i haven't hurt anyone today, i have no woke up in a police cell, my kids dont have to worry about there dad or be in fear
all in all its been a normal day today i woke up in a dry bed, i have been out taking my girl out by the river and spoiled her with an ice cream and some fish and chips
in the evening i went off to my meeting and did my thing there
now home and relaxed with a nice cup of tea and having a read on this site before bed

i am so very grateful i am not the down and out drunken bum anymore and i have a life

now i could start preaching or quoting or sounding all wonderful superior in my expert knowledge. but like i say it doesnt interest me anymore i am me today just a guy who enjoys a simple life
which was impossible when i look back at where i have come from yet there it is as its real

so the smartest thing i have learned and the wisest thing i have heard in the rooms is keep it simple.

maybe that is what sobriety really is ? that ability these days to keep everything as simple as it can be so to avoid all the emotional ups downs and all over the places reactions of the past ?

i could drive myself nuts trying to figure it all out so its much easyier if i just accept it as it is, just like i accept electric in my home powers things, i dont need to understand how it does nor do i need proof that if i touch the live wire it will not do me any good at all so i accept that without question lol
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