Resentment

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Re: Resentment

Postby Brock » Tue Aug 01, 2017 10:17 am

Just to make a few more points, and I am not looking to argue or get personal, (the guidelines used by moderators here, actually state that it can be “healthy” when a discussion gets a little “warm”), but we must not cross into personalities.
...refrained from talking bad or gossiping about that person behind her / his / their backs. This is something I not only learned in AA but in the household I grew up in.

Talking behind someone's back / gossiping about someone is simply not on since that person is not in the conversation / discussion to defend her / himself and is to me more a refection on the person doing the "back talking / gossiping" than the person being discussed.

If it is felt that Kathy crossed some line by talking to her sponsor and the members here, and if this is what the comments above are about, I disagree 100%. She is simply asking advise about the conduct of an unnamed person we don't know, no harm no foul. If the quoted comments are what we shouldn't do in real life, where others may know the person we are speaking about then I agree entirely, these are two different things.

With respect to her trying to help the person, since as stated - “...the easier way to ensure both parties get clarity on the situation would be to address the issue with the person concerned directly,” that has been tried. Keep in mind she said things like these - “...I offered the hand of fellowship as she never spoke and seemed alone. She asked me to sponsor her which I did... I'm working on feeling compassion for her...I can't be myself with her, if I am she's constantly asking 'are you alright' what's wrong blah blah and even text me to see if I'm ok.”

All she is trying to do is not hurt the persons feelings, by coming right out and saying she finds them false, and constantly putting on a front or acting, things (some would call defects), which the AA program itself should have taken care of. My feeling is it's a perfectly acceptable question to ask advise about on a forum like this, and many others have asked for similar advise about members of their groups, who they find hard to deal with.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Resentment

Postby Mary » Tue Aug 01, 2017 10:30 am

Noels

Love, light and all....I find your tone and words proselytising.

All the best
Last edited by Mary on Tue Aug 01, 2017 10:53 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Resentment

Postby Noels » Tue Aug 01, 2017 10:42 am

I totally agree that it is an acceptable question which also deserved an honest response.
I don't know Kathy Ann from Adams side so it is clearly not a personal attack. Why would I want to hurt someone deliberately who have never harmed me nor who I don't know? Not my style :D

So my response is clearly about life as a whole which include living our spiritual program and in particular steps 10 to 12 and if you read the OPs post again you'll see that all was fine between the OP and the false lady until the false lady wouldn't do step 4 with the OP and found another sponsor.

Kathy Ann please don't think I'm picking on you. It is however our duty to HELP you with truthful answers and responses for your own growth rather than just agree and 'look cool ' by blowing smoke up your azz.

You will constantly hear in the rooms and also on this forum that the members constantly remind us that alcoholism is a matter of life and death and I'd rather you hate me and live a happy, joyous and free spiritually based life than be your friend and a resentment causes you to pick up a drink.

All I post is with the intention to love, assist and serve.

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