Utter Inability to leave it alone!

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Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Jun 17, 2017 5:03 am

Below is from More about alcoholism:

Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.


Yet, we tell the newcomers, dont drink no matter what, even if your ass falls off. I wonder if we share more facts from the book we could help realize the fatal nature of this disease and propel them to do the work?
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby Eltrym » Tue Jun 20, 2017 4:30 am

I agree. I belonged to a non AA site for my first 10/11 months of sobriety and some members used to say a similar thing, "Don't drink no matter what, even if your arse is on fire." I eventually came to the conclusion that there's alot more to it then that and that willpower would only last so long. Thank goodness I started to read the BB, listen to other AA's, found this site, did the work and continue doing the work to ensure that I stay in fit spiritual condition. I am under no illusion that if I stop doing the work I will become vulnerable and it would only be a matter of time before I drink again.
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby positrac » Tue Jun 20, 2017 6:10 am

Funny it is like we talk shitz to ourselves and work our mind into a frenzy about why we shouldn't and then give in and then swear it off the next day. I felt like I was never going to beat that cycle because I was a failure. Willpower is such an overrated word as I see it because all of my best in the drinking and addiction department failed me.
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby desypete » Tue Jun 20, 2017 10:16 am

the problem here is the fact that when i came to aa i was a 24 / 7 drunk, i had to learn how to get through an hour let alone a day without picking up that first drink, sadly if you told me to pray for it to vanish as if by magic and that i wouldnt feel withdrawals or the sweats would go away like magic it just does doesnt work, some people go to a dry out clinic and have controlled withdrawals with the help of Librium etc others like me who didnt end up in those places had to dry out on my own,

hence the dont pick up one drink and you can not get drunk makes perfect sense to someone who needed a drink every hour, but for those who didnt get down to that level yet they just can not understand it

my first 4 days i couldnt stand up without falling over, i couldnt stop my shakes, i honestly thought i had got a wet brian and i was never ever again going to be able to walk or stand or not stop shaking
but after a week things started to calm down, i was told to not pick up that first drink and i followed it, i was told to drink water which is what i did, i was told to eat chocolate and keep my sugar levels up. all these things helped me so much to get to my first week sober and dry

i never forget how helpless i felt or how dark my life was back then, and for those who shove a book under my nose and preach that is says here we can not have the power to not pick up that first drink there talking bull

we have to first get to a sober state of mind before anything else can work, and we are not going to get to a sober state of mind if your a 24 / 7 drunk without trying to not pick up that first drink

if we were powerless to not pick up that first drink then the rooms of aa would be full of drunks who can not stop themselves from picking up that first drink at there first meetings
which we know is false as most come to the rooms sober without a program, without a god, without anything other than a desire to seek help and there mostly sober when they show up

it all depends how far down the scale people have fallen as those who have experienced being at the bottom are really so grateful to aa and its memebers who helped them to start this recovery journey
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Jun 20, 2017 10:21 am

"Don't drink no matter what, even if your arse is on fire."


Yeah, sitting in a beginners meeting and sharing this kind of crap tells the new-comer that we have a choice in this. And we dont. And its mind boggling why we don't tell this truth? Its the members prerogative to either take the message or leave.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby desypete » Tue Jun 20, 2017 10:43 am

avaneesh912 wrote:
"Don't drink no matter what, even if your arse is on fire."


Yeah, sitting in a beginners meeting and sharing this kind of crap tells the new-comer that we have a choice in this. And we dont. And its mind boggling why we don't tell this truth? Its the members prerogative to either take the message or leave.


i guess you will have to wait until your arse is on fire to see if you will pick up that first drink or not.
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Jun 20, 2017 11:08 am

i guess you will have to wait until your arse is on fire to see if you will pick up that first drink or not.


If I am spiritual fit, I wont get there. People who don't have an understanding of the disease and don't know the solution propagate these slogans.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby Roberth » Tue Jun 20, 2017 11:51 am

Don't drink no matter what, even if your arse is on fire


I would never tell anyone that. I had a friend try that and the pain got so bad he put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. I am an alcoholic and I need relief from my disease or I am going to drink .

I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?" Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired.
.pg 152
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby desypete » Tue Jun 20, 2017 12:20 pm

avaneesh912 wrote:
i guess you will have to wait until your arse is on fire to see if you will pick up that first drink or not.


If I am spiritual fit, I wont get there. People who don't have an understanding of the disease and don't know the solution propagate these slogans.


i hope you can go on for the rest of your life as spiritually fit as you believe you are.

but in the real world of aa and the people in aa sadly one day is not very much like the next, life can and does very often throw up some real hard knocks for members, some can not handle it and end up picking up that first drink, while others manage to get there backside to a meeting or contact a sponsor they do whatever it takes to seek some help from a power other than themselves to put off that moment of picking up that first drink
i can only hope you dont end up in a position to be tested like that as i feel you would be to proud to pick up the phone to ask for help or even go to a meeting which is the worse mistake anyone can make
but then what do i know about it ?
i only have my own experience to share about. based on many years active service and attendance at many levels in aa
and in my expereince i have seen and heard it all in the rooms of aa and i have seen those who keep on coming back to aa and those who come and go
all i can say really to anyone is enjoy the time you are around aa as the hard fact is not many will be around today in five years time and less again will be around in 10 and the longer the time span the less there are of people who manage to get those years of sober living

and yet they all believed at one time they were cured they had all the answers, there god was going to always make it all ok and yet they some how drop off

i am sober today, right at this very moment and i am still very grateful for it and happy about it

anyway i hope you prove to be an exception to what happens to most in aa i really do
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby desypete » Tue Jun 20, 2017 12:30 pm

Roberth wrote:
Don't drink no matter what, even if your arse is on fire


I would never tell anyone that. I had a friend try that and the pain got so bad he put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. I am an alcoholic and I need relief from my disease or I am going to drink .

I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?" Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired.
.pg 152

what makes you think he pulled the trigger because he was told to not drink even if your arse falls off ?
if he would of drank he still would of pulled the trigger ?

we can all dig up storys of people who die, just a couple of months ago a very active aa member died, we were all shocked as he seemed to be doing so well, but it turns out his wife kicked him out as he started drinking again, then he came back to aa and managed to get his wife to let him come back home again and within a couple of weeks the guy was dead
and yet this guy could recite what the books says and he very often did, he was a heavy god worshipper, he was active in trying to help others in fact he was someone i really admired in aa as he was never an in your face type or a know all type, he seemed to have this inner peace and was real in trying to help others
yet it seems some how his wife couldnt cope with him at home sober, and from this small problem in his life, he lost the plot and drank again,

the harsh relatity of it all was he was so dependant on his wife and the home, he had never had to stand on his own 2 feet and the fear of him having to do that changed him
gone were all the big book quotes gone were all the teachings including dont pick up that first drink as he simply didn't believe in that

anyway it just shows to me never to get complacent as if i believe i have this thing cracked i am only going to feed my own self importance and my ego and take one step closer to the life i dont want to live
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby PaigeB » Tue Jun 20, 2017 12:46 pm

One of the church guys I know stopped sponsoring, slowed down and stopped meetings all while picking up service work at his church. Pretty soon we didn't see him for a while. Then he came back full of rage and upset about a relationship that ended. I saw him at a couple meetings and now I don't see him anymore. Maybe he goes to morning meetings.

I have to recommit to this program and my willingness for my HP to run the show and help me be okay with that. I think that anything less than program + HP and I would surely find my rage machine cranked up again and my arse back on the barstool. Personally I think that having my azz in a meeting is better than it being in a bottle. At least there would be some hope that I would not die out there.

And Yes ~ I say, "Call me anytime & see you soon." With a smile and a wave I say "And Don't Drink!" I am of course assuming they know there are other tools, other Actions they can take, before they take the drink. I just gave them one tool "call me". Anyway, I Believe ~ I have Faith ~ that all will work for the good of The Whole. At some point, my purpose & action is complete and it is the job of the HP to fix results.

Let's have a little Faith today. We all have today.
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby Brock » Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:08 pm

Desi said -
...those who shove a book under my nose and preach that is says here we can not have the power to not pick up that first drink there talking bull.

I wonder who is really talking bull here, that is what the book says in very many places, and the name of that book is Alcoholics Anonymous, the name of this site is e-AA or e-Alcoholics Anonymous, and we follow the program as written. Those who wish to speak of other methods of getting and staying sober, are usually told by the moderators to do so elsewhere.

All your talk about 24/7 drunk is fine, many of us were the same, and we all agree that when we first get to AA the best message is stay away from the first drink. It is not a big deal, the same book says - “It's no great trick to stop drinking, the trick is to STAY stopped." In the words and story of Bob Pearson, long time AA member, and ex General Manager of the GSO office in New York, whose grandchild has posted here in the past as well.


You laugh at the spiritual program, as if you stay sober without spirituality, and then turn around in most of your posts, and speak about your work with the down and out drunken bums in your city, which helps you get out of yourself and stay sober. Without even considering, that every great profit who carried the message of a power greater than human, to which we must look for strength, and whom some call God, did exactly as you are doing, and preached that we should do likewise. Jesus helped those down and outs just like you, so did many others throughout history, and more recently like Mother Teresa, you are doing God's work and reaping the benefits, while cursing it out of the side of your mouth. Maybe you should try to stop helping others, just attend meetings, you will land on your arse with such a speed that it may indeed ketch fire.
...sadly if you told me to pray for it to vanish as if by magic and that i wouldnt feel withdrawals or the sweats would go away like magic it just does doesnt work...

Nowhere in the AA program is anything like that even suggested, throughout the book the first few days of shakes we must go through are mentioned, in the chapter Working with Others it says - “If your man needs hospitalization, he should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent.” If you spent more time studying the book instead of bad talking it, you wouldn't make such statements.
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:42 pm

I wonder if we share more facts from the book we could help realize the fatal nature of this disease and propel them to do the work?


AA is a program of attraction, not promotion....or propulsion.

Bill W. spent his first months of sobriety trying to "propel" alcoholics into sobriety with that approach. It didn't work. Didn't get even one drunk sober. In fact, he said his approach may have hastened the deaths of several.
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby desypete » Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:47 pm

Brock wrote:Desi said -
...those who shove a book under my nose and preach that is says here we can not have the power to not pick up that first drink there talking bull.

I wonder who is really talking bull here, that is what the book says in very many places, and the name of that book is Alcoholics Anonymous, the name of this site is e-AA or e-Alcoholics Anonymous, and we follow the program as written. Those who wish to speak of other methods of getting and staying sober, are usually told by the moderators to do so elsewhere.

All your talk about 24/7 drunk is fine, many of us were the same, and we all agree that when we first get to AA the best message is stay away from the first drink. It is not a big deal, the same book says - “It's no great trick to stop drinking, the trick is to STAY stopped." In the words and story of Bob Pearson, long time AA member, and ex General Manager of the GSO office in New York, whose grandchild has posted here in the past as well.


You laugh at the spiritual program, as if you stay sober without spirituality, and then turn around in most of your posts, and speak about your work with the down and out drunken bums in your city, which helps you get out of yourself and stay sober. Without even considering, that every great profit who carried the message of a power greater than human, to which we must look for strength, and whom some call God, did exactly as you are doing, and preached that we should do likewise. Jesus helped those down and outs just like you, so did many others throughout history, and more recently like Mother Teresa, you are doing God's work and reaping the benefits, while cursing it out of the side of your mouth. Maybe you should try to stop helping others, just attend meetings, you will land on your arse with such a speed that it may indeed ketch fire.
...sadly if you told me to pray for it to vanish as if by magic and that i wouldnt feel withdrawals or the sweats would go away like magic it just does doesnt work...

Nowhere in the AA program is anything like that even suggested, throughout the book the first few days of shakes we must go through are mentioned, in the chapter Working with Others it says - “If your man needs hospitalization, he should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent.” If you spent more time studying the book instead of bad talking it, you wouldn't make such statements.


here you go again quoting from the book not your own personal experience of being a down and out drunken bum

the way you and your side kick present aa and how it works etc is just way out of the real world of the drunken bum sitting out in the cold tonight who has no computer to read your wonderful words of wisdom. even god seems to have given up on this type of real alcoholic. i am just lucky that its not me in there shoes as it could so well of been me

i feel like i should bow my head or salute or have a brass band playing to announce the mighty has arrived in aa land when i read your posts, i dont know why i would feel like that but its just the impression i seem to get whenever i read anything you or your side kick post
either i am getting it all wrong or maybe just maybe there might be a problem with you guys and your presentation ? just saying
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Re: Utter Inability to leave it alone!

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:53 pm

There was one man who got the answers, that was Dr. Bob:

The question which might naturally come into your mind would be: "what did the man do or say that was different from what others had done or said?" It must be remembered that I had read a great deal and talked to everyone who knew, or thought they knew, anything about the subject of alcoholism. This man was a man who had experienced many years of frightful drinking, who had had most all the drunkard's experience known to man, but who had been cured by the very means I had been trying to employ, that is to say, the spiritual approach. He gave me information about the subject of alcoholism which was undoubtedly helpful. Of far more importance was the fact that he was the first living human with whom I bad ever talked, who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience. In other words, be talked my language. He knew all the answers, and certainly not because he had picked them up in his reading.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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