Misconception of outside World

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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby D'oh » Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:17 am

Don't throw those cliches. Yeah nobody comes to AA room for ice cream. IF he is, he is dumb. Most are court mandate, pushed to the rooms by their spouses. And occasionally some cats take a peak to whats AA is about and then they fade. Out of those few who are desperate and lucky find a competent sponsor and understand the problem and then the solution.


I knew little of Spiritual Maladies before AA. I just knew I couldn't do it any longer. Not even knowing what I couldn't do anymore, but I knew Drinking wasn't helping, in fact it was causing most of it.

So a Court Order, is just a piece of paper, It doesn't say what type of Ice Cream the Judge wants. It is just bringing one into the rooms, who might still believe there is 2 or 3 different ways to make it work this time.
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby PaigeB » Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:22 am

"One doesn't go to AA if everything is great!"

True True... I came because inside I was dying or dead already ~ I didn't know for sure. But had you talked only about God in the rooms I would have never made it. I heard it all already AND I could always go talk to my Grandma's priest if I needed god stuff.

No - you people had to find a way to gain my trust. You had to SHOW me how peacefully you lived (unlike the god folks). You were able to secure my confidence like they talk about on page 18:
"But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours....
"That the man who is making the approach (1) has had the same difficulty, that he obviously (2) knows what he is talking about, that (3) his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that (4) he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, (5) nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; (6) that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured
-- these are the conditions we have found most effective."

:wink: Have a good day guys & gals!
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby D'oh » Sat Jun 24, 2017 6:23 am

I can't help but to believe, before the writing of the 12 and 12, and more so the quote
Scarcely more than potential Alcoholics
and raising of the "Bottom". Most of the New Comers of Early AA, came to find the program through a Visit (hospital,jail cell, bedroom) from 2 other Members. As in Bill's, Dr Bob's and Bill's stories.

As the Program grew, and people started appearing at it's doors. The New comers are fresh, they have even thought of the first 3 Step, let alone start on them like Bill, Dr. Bob, and Bill.

As Paige said, if entering I would have to not only Believe in a HP, but also turn the reins over to It, I would have sought a different answer (a bottle being the least violent one of the choices).

Progress, yes but also shows the importance of the 12th step, as was done to the first 3 members. The "Firm Foundation" of the first 3 steps. So the quote
Scarcely more than potential Alcoholics
had always confused me. Coming in (the first time at 21) I hadn't lost a whole lot but knew I had a problem. Then I had to experience the 10-15 years of literal Hell, just to be sure.
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Jun 24, 2017 6:36 am

But had you talked only about God in the rooms I would have never made it. I heard it all already AND I could always go talk to my Grandma's priest if I needed god stuff.


Very confusing. But, the pain, led you to a desperate situation and perhaps luck got you to a person who helped you set aside old ideas and work the 12 steps. And thats what I am talking. We talk about DUIs to people who already know about it. Its not helping. We need to share this: The utter inability to stay away from booze, no matter the consequences is.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Jun 24, 2017 6:49 am

Then I had to experience the 10-15 years of literal Hell, just to be sure.


Perhaps all you heard was war stories and never saw the connection between the malady and the act of taking a drink. People are going to do the crap. A cat picked up a desire chip at the 6.30 pm meeting. I have only seen him at the noon meetings. Lost couple of years of sobriety. Relapsed on Pills. He said wife had anxiety issues and the doctor prescribed medication of her. He moved, and he too had some anxiety issues. So he medicated himself with 1/2 a pill. Again the Peculiar Mental Twist. Instead of working the 12 steps, the mind told him he can quieten his mind with a small dosage. Few months he was abusing it. Maybe he too never saw the connection.

When the spiritual malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically.


What are the odds of hearing this in a meeting these days?
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby Brock » Sat Jun 24, 2017 7:34 am

As Paige said, if entering I would have to not only Believe in a HP, but also turn the reins over to It, I would have sought a different answer (a bottle being the least violent one of the choices).

I have never attended a meeting, and hopefully never will, where there was any insistence on anything. Yes in the early days you would have been 'sponsored' into the rooms, someone would have 12th stepped you before you came, and even in those cases the book shows clearly on page 93, that we speak of a higher power, but we use everyday language, and explain that any conception the person may have will do.

Earlier on is this thread, someone spoke of the influence of TV and film on our image, and more and more we see reference to AA, and depictions of so called meetings, this can do good or bad, for what the title refers to as the 'misconception of the outside world.'

Very early on Spirit Flower said - “My experience is that people think we go to meetings because we might drink,” and this is probably the biggest misconception film and TV continues to put across. At our home one of our favorite shows used to be The Closer, on more than one occasion, Brenda's live in alcoholic boyfriend got upset at something she did, and said 'I am going to call my sponsor and attended a meeting,' once he said 'maybe two.' Giving the distinct impression that I am upset at what you did, either I drink or call this person and attend meeting(s). My wife looked at me on one of those occasions, and said she was happy I was not like that. I won't tell her but the truth is we have people in AA that would see nothing wrong, with the public believing that's how AA works, even here some will defend such a belief. So we can talk about people speaking about God putting others off, and yes we will agree because even the book says we go easy on this, but we should equally try to inform new people and the general public, that this program is far more powerful than 'I will call my sponsor and go to a meeting,' as a solution to our day to day problems, which I do not believe is recommended or even mentioned in any of our literature, but still somehow seems to find it's way out as another 'misconception.'
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby ezdzit247 » Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:29 pm

PaigeB wrote:
"One doesn't go to AA if everything is great!"

True True... I came because inside I was dying or dead already ~ I didn't know for sure. But had you talked only about God in the rooms I would have never made it. I heard it all already AND I could always go talk to my Grandma's priest if I needed god stuff.

No - you people had to find a way to gain my trust. You had to SHOW me how peacefully you lived (unlike the god folks). You were able to secure my confidence like they talk about on page 18:
"But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours....
"That the man who is making the approach (1) has had the same difficulty, that he obviously (2) knows what he is talking about, that (3) his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that (4) he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, (5) nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; (6) that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured
-- these are the conditions we have found most effective."


I totally agree on every point.
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby sammynorm » Sun Jul 02, 2017 7:43 pm

I think there is this idea in the 'outside world' that you got to AA for a while, stop drinking and then everything is OK and you can live life as a 'normal person' or even go so far as to 'drink like a normal person'.
For me the first bit of AA was getting stopped (the one day at a time, counting days/weeks/months etc). Then there is the 'how do I live life without alcohol', the only place I've found people who know how to do that is in the program.
I remember early on some lady with 30+ years taking a chip, that was when I decided I needed AA, because AA is where you find people like that, and they know how to live life without alcohol.
(Most people in the 'outside world' have no clue what alcoholism really is)
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby desypete » Sun Jul 09, 2017 5:27 pm

sammynorm wrote:I think there is this idea in the 'outside world' that you got to AA for a while, stop drinking and then everything is OK and you can live life as a 'normal person' or even go so far as to 'drink like a normal person'.
For me the first bit of AA was getting stopped (the one day at a time, counting days/weeks/months etc). Then there is the 'how do I live life without alcohol', the only place I've found people who know how to do that is in the program.
I remember early on some lady with 30+ years taking a chip, that was when I decided I needed AA, because AA is where you find people like that, and they know how to live life without alcohol.
(Most people in the 'outside world' have no clue what alcoholism really is)


that reminds me of the time one of my sons asked me about aa many years ago, tried to explain to him as best as i could
i said to my son that people have been going to aa for years and that some have been around for over 40 or more years
wow my son said 40 years ? well they must have a real bad problem with it then was his answer =biggrin

to me its perfectly normal for someone to have spent there lives in aa yet to the outside world they would never really understand it

its a good job aa is anonymous so the outside world really have no real need to understand it either, hell its a hard enough task trying to get those who come to us as new comers to try to understand it all let alone people who dont have our problem
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby Brock » Mon Jul 10, 2017 10:40 am

i said to my son that people have been going to aa for years and that some have been around for over 40 or more years wow my son said 40 years ? well they must have a real bad problem with it then was his answer

I can understand why he might feel that is true, and I believe his answer is closer to the truth, than some actual members of AA I have seen answer. Very early in this thread Spirit said - “My experience is that people think we go to meetings because we might drink,” at least Desi's son believes you can stop going at a certain time, depending on how much of a “problem” you have.

Therefore the problem would have been resolved at some point, and no longer would the person need meetings for that problem. And the book agrees, they even call the second chapter “There Is A Solution,” and say - “The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution.” Nowhere do they say going to meetings for life is the solution, instead they say do these steps, live in the spirit of steps 10, 11 & 12, and be free of cravings and urges, happy and free.
its a good job aa is anonymous so the outside world really have no real need to understand it either

But I believe this is the whole point of this thread, we want them to know more of what is involved, so people don't get put off by believing that the meetings keep us sober, or don't believe such stupidity as I mentioned in my post a few above this -
At our home one of our favorite shows used to be The Closer, on more than one occasion, Brenda's live in alcoholic boyfriend got upset at something she did, and said 'I am going to call my sponsor and attended a meeting,' once he said 'maybe two.' Giving the distinct impression that I am upset at what you did, either I drink or call this person and attend meeting(s). My wife looked at me on one of those occasions, and said she was happy I was not like that. I won't tell her but the truth is we have people in AA that would see nothing wrong, with the public believing that's how AA works, even here some will defend such a belief.
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby PaigeB » Mon Jul 10, 2017 11:05 am

Very few who are normal, or those who are still using, will believe that we have a solution. Why would they want to quit? "I'm not THAT bad!" was one of my favorite retorts!
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby desypete » Mon Jul 10, 2017 9:41 pm

Brock wrote:
i said to my son that people have been going to aa for years and that some have been around for over 40 or more years wow my son said 40 years ? well they must have a real bad problem with it then was his answer

I can understand why he might feel that is true, and I believe his answer is closer to the truth, than some actual members of AA I have seen answer. Very early in this thread Spirit said - “My experience is that people think we go to meetings because we might drink,” at least Desi's son believes you can stop going at a certain time, depending on how much of a “problem” you have.

Therefore the problem would have been resolved at some point, and no longer would the person need meetings for that problem. And the book agrees, they even call the second chapter “There Is A Solution,” and say - “The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution.” Nowhere do they say going to meetings for life is the solution, instead they say do these steps, live in the spirit of steps 10, 11 & 12, and be free of cravings and urges, happy and free.
its a good job aa is anonymous so the outside world really have no real need to understand it either

But I believe this is the whole point of this thread, we want them to know more of what is involved, so people don't get put off by believing that the meetings keep us sober, or don't believe such stupidity as I mentioned in my post a few above this -
At our home one of our favorite shows used to be The Closer, on more than one occasion, Brenda's live in alcoholic boyfriend got upset at something she did, and said 'I am going to call my sponsor and attended a meeting,' once he said 'maybe two.' Giving the distinct impression that I am upset at what you did, either I drink or call this person and attend meeting(s). My wife looked at me on one of those occasions, and said she was happy I was not like that. I won't tell her but the truth is we have people in AA that would see nothing wrong, with the public believing that's how AA works, even here some will defend such a belief.


your right again oh super sober wise one
we dont need meetings anymore we can all come here and listen to you instead =biggrin
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby Arydigital » Tue Jul 11, 2017 12:00 am

People who are close to me see the fruits if I'm sticking close to the fellowship, and see the opposite fruits if I'm not on top of my programme. In my experience people who question the value of it tend to be at a safe distance!
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby Brock » Tue Jul 11, 2017 5:26 am

Welcome here Arydigital. Some believe we can't be 'on top of our program' without the fellowship. Others like myself, see the fellowship as something we have come to enjoy, but apart from an opportunity for 12 step work, (of which there are many others), not something necessary for the promises of this program to come true.

If we promote this to the outside world, I believe it would be a misconception, as the title of the thread says. I myself stayed away from AA for many years, believing if I got sober, it would mean a certain number of meetings per week for life, to maintain my sobriety.

Thankfully I found out this was not true, I heard a well known AA speaker say- “I don't go to meetings to stay sober, and I am sorry for those who do.” It's words like that which saved my life, because I live in a small country, and you don't have a choice of meetings like those in large countries and cities do.

If we promote this misconception, people who live in areas where no meetings are available, sailors at sea, etc, might as well just give up right now, because as some here want to say no meetings = no sobriety. Even the founders, went to the trouble of including a story in the book, about an Indian army officer living where no meetings were available, to demonstrate that lack of meetings does not have to mean lack of contented sobriety.
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Re: Misconception of outside World

Postby Brock » Tue Jul 11, 2017 5:29 am

your right again oh super sober wise one
we dont need meetings anymore we can all come here and listen to you instead

That is completely uncalled for desypete. If you believe meetings for life is mandatory for sobriety say so, I believe it's a misconception, and that's what this thread is about. It's a discussion forum, if you can't find adequate words to make your point, maybe you don't have a point to make, it certainly doesn’t give you license for immature insults.

This site lists just six main guidelines for use, one suggests we don't quote others names, (especially if we are being uncomplimentary), the other asks we limit the copy and pasting to short passages. You not only quote my name, but paste the whole post.
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