Am I an alcoholic

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Am I an alcoholic

Postby I love trees » Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:39 pm

Please forgive me, but I have been a heavy drinker and then I had a stroke so I gave up but still I drink every weekend. If left to my own devises I can add cannabis and get totally out of it. But mostly I have two glasses of wine with dinner. But when I am stressed I drink and want to drink till I am not conscious. This does not happen much anymore but I can't go a week without drinking, when I try stop its all I think about. I can abstain for a bit but always go back. I enjoy the taste and the relaxation. I end up munching and having crap sleeps because of it, yet I can't stop enjoying it. So am I addicted, am I a casual drinker? I used to be a binger, but not no more. I can't seem to want to give up, it makes me feel good. That's not alcoholism is it? My father was a heavy drinker, my sister is an alcoholic and my brother is a heavy drinker, am I in denial or in control. Thank you for your attention x
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby PaigeB » Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:59 pm

Welcome I love trees! Love the name - I revere the tree with its roots reaching deep and branches reaching out... they represent strength and stability while still quivering at times. Just like us Alkies I guess.

No one can pronounce you an alcoholic. Only you can decide if you are a heavy drinker or an alcoholic. You can read our Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous... the basic text is only 164 pages and the rest is stories written by alcoholics. I loved the Doctor's Opinion (just before Chapter 1) and I liked Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism, because I believe it saved my life. http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/read-the- ... traditions

Maybe your sister can discuss her journey of alcoholism with you? Or you can walk right into a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are no dues or fees and there are no rules. Walk in and get a cup of coffee and pick a seat. If you want you can tell someone that you are new or you can just listen as a visitor. You can find a meeting near you using this link http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources and you may also find a hotline to call if you want to!

If you think you are alcoholic you might want to join us! AA is the biggest organization that no one really aspired to be a member of! But I am grateful for the freedom AA has given to me. Freedom from slavery to alcohol & more.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:22 pm

when I try stop its all I think about.


An alcoholic obsesses when he/she stops. Also you talked about unable to sleep. That could be part of un-manageability of step one. Some get cranky. Un-manageability takes several forms. It could be boredom, dejected in life (being discontented).
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby Duke » Wed Apr 26, 2017 2:30 pm

I don't know. I suggest you attend some open meetings, listen to some stories and see if you identify. You'll figure it out. Good luck to you.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby Blue Moon » Wed Apr 26, 2017 7:57 pm

I love trees wrote:Please forgive me, but I have been a heavy drinker and then I had a stroke so I gave up but still I drink every weekend. If left to my own devises I can add cannabis and get totally out of it. But mostly I have two glasses of wine with dinner. But when I am stressed I drink and want to drink till I am not conscious. This does not happen much anymore but I can't go a week without drinking, when I try stop its all I think about. I can abstain for a bit but always go back. I enjoy the taste and the relaxation. I end up munching and having crap sleeps because of it, yet I can't stop enjoying it. So am I addicted, am I a casual drinker? I used to be a binger, but not no more. I can't seem to want to give up, it makes me feel good. That's not alcoholism is it? My father was a heavy drinker, my sister is an alcoholic and my brother is a heavy drinker, am I in denial or in control. Thank you for your attention x


Are you probably dependent on alcohol? If so, then by definition you're probably alcoholic. That's all alcoholism really means - alcohol dependency.

If you still drink every weekend, you didn't give up. If you obsess over drinking when not drinking, that's alcoholic thinking. Nothing in your post tells me that you're not alcoholic. It's a progressive condition, but I don't know anyone who continued to drink and got progressively better.

I could also go for periods of time without drinking, especially when I was trying to "prove" to myself or others that I can't possibly be alcoholic. All alcoholics can do this, it seems that very few didn't have periods of abstinence followed by relapse before they eventually grasped the nettle of recovery. What alcoholics can't do is sustain controlled drinking. So if you keep ending up drunk without intending to, the only way to guarantee you'll not get drunk is to not take the first drink. If that's not possible alone, you'll need help to do it.

As others suggested, why not check out some local "Open" AA meetings? What do you have to lose?
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby Layne » Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:02 pm

... I can't stop enjoying it...it makes me feel good...
If this is true, then why are you here asking questions?

i certainly am not qualified to tell you whether you are an alcoholic or a control drinker because I have absolutely no concept as to what a control drinker actually is. I see other people do what I think it is, but it is still way beyond my comprehension.

I can tell you all about obsession, that I understand; but control drinking might as well be a foreign language for all I understand it. God knows it wasn't from lack of trying to understand and achieve it. I have been a wide style of drinking types, but control ain't one of them.

For what it is worth, "...I can't stop enjoying it...it makes me feel good...", I said those very words for years. I believed them. They were untrue.
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby Blue Moon » Thu Apr 27, 2017 5:09 am

For what it is worth, "...I can't stop enjoying it...it makes me feel good...", I said those very words for years. I believed them. They were untrue.

For me, "it makes me feel good" equated to "it helps me to not feel so bad".
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby kdub720 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:51 pm

Dang, That is big. If you wake up thinking about and fall asleep thinking about it, I think it can be bad. Sounds like you are disciplined, yet maybe that urge weather you follow through with it or not is the addiction alcoholic draw. I completely understand this. Thanks for the post.
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby bbqking » Sat Apr 29, 2017 7:49 am

If the consequences of our actions begin to outweigh the benefits then it is time for us to question those actions. A healthy rational individual will generally alter their behaviors / actions to avoid severe negative outcomes, especially when they far outweigh benefits.

If you perceive the benefits of alcohol to outweigh any negative consequences, why quit drinking?

If the opposite is true, then why continue drinking?


If you decide the negatives associated with drinking exceed benefits and you still drink because you feel compelled or an intense craving and you can't seem to figure it out on your own..........

you might want to seek some assistance.
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby SoberInMI » Sat Apr 29, 2017 6:07 pm

To answer your question in the simplest manner look at the first step: "“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” If this is true for you, you might be an alcoholic. Personally, I was in denial when I 1st came in so I needed more convincing. The big book suggests suddenly stop drinking after you have had 1 or 2 drinks. If you can't stop..... If you are having problems as a result of your drinking, you may at least be a problem drinker or a "potential alcoholic." AA has pamphlet on it.

A really old timer would say when I first came in that nobody wanders in to see if they are an alcoholic... I say that those who are not court ordered and come in on there own do so as a last resort. A social drinker may leave a partially empty glass or container behind. OMG! What a a waste!

Perhaps the best suggestion is found in a story in the Big Book. At meetings and other encounters with alcoholics, try to identify and not compare, or try to find what you have in common and not the differences. The more you have in common.... I didn't drink like others did, so I first identified with the feelings, and later with the unmanagibility.
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby Oliver » Sat Apr 29, 2017 11:31 pm

Food for thought: how many people, do you think, who don't have problems with alcohol are kept awake wondering if they might be alcoholics?

Only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby SoberInMI » Sun Apr 30, 2017 8:01 am

Oliver wrote:Food for thought: how many people, do you think, who don't have problems with alcohol are kept awake wondering if they might be alcoholics?


That exemplifies my point that newcomers who come in on their own already believe that they may have an alcohol problem.

Oliver wrote:Only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.


You make a common mistake in assuming that an abbreviated expression says all that there is to say or that you can fully understand what is meant. To fully understand the 3rd tradition, and any other, you must read the long form: "Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation."

Does a drug or narcotics addict suffer from alcoholism if they don't drink to excess, and if they are not powerless over alcohol and that their alcohol use did not make their life unmanageable? No.

Is an alcoholic who only smokes when he/she is drinking a nicotine or smoking addict? Is an alcoholic who only gambles when he she drinks a gambling addict? Is a person who becomes promiscuous only when drinking a sex addict? The answers are no. So a drug addict who does not drink to excess, or for whom it is a gateway to illicit drug use, or just incidental, is not necessarily an alcoholic.
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby Oliver » Sun Apr 30, 2017 8:46 am

SoberInMI wrote:You make a common mistake in assuming that an abbreviated expression says all that there is to say or that you can fully understand what is meant.


I am glad to know my mistake is common. Spent years thinking I was unique!
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Re: Am I an alcoholic

Postby SoberInMI » Sun Apr 30, 2017 8:59 am

Oliver wrote:I am glad to know my mistake is common. Spent years thinking I was unique!


Whether you intended to be tongue-in-cheek or not, I chuckled when I read that. :lol: :lol: Haven't we all felt "unique" at times?
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