Do you ever feel better?

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Do you ever feel better?

Postby Busanteacher9 » Mon Feb 13, 2017 10:21 pm

I want to stop drinking. It's been 3 days since I had any alcohol, but if feels a lot longer than that. I usually drink out of boredom, life feels boring to me a lot of the times.

But, I am making some changes... I am starting graduate school next week. And I am starting an art gallery benefit in the city that I live in to raise money for homeless people and a no-kill dog shelter.

I am hoping that these positive changes will be enough. I've been drinking heavily for five years, and lately I've felt sick. Like after one beer, I don't feel good. And I feel like the alcohol is never out of my system. I had a liver check and the doctor says that it's fine, but the alcohol... it scares me.

My father died from liver cirrhosis from drinking & mixing pills with alcohol. I don't take any kind of drugs, but I drink a lot. Like, a bottle of gin a month plus two or three beers a night. Sometimes, in the middle of the day I drink a wine cooler just to make the time go by faster.

I think that I am different from a lot of People. I live in a small island in South Korea. I don't have many people to speak English and to, and Soth Koreans drink a lot of alcohol so they don't think That I have a problem. But I know that so have a problem.

Lately, I've felt gross. And fat. I gained a lot of weight over the past year because I was drinking too many craft beers. And I've felt unwell. Have any of you ever experienced this? How long does it take to feel better? I want to stop drinking alcohol for good, and I know that meetings can help but there aren't any meetings here.
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Spirit Flower » Tue Feb 14, 2017 2:45 am

You can find all AA literature here: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/aa-literature

Check out the books. The book Alcoholics Anonymous is our basic text and the 12 Steps explains more about the text. In the pamphlets, you can find a quiz about whether you are an alcoholic.

There are people here who got sober without going to meetings. But there are also online meetings. I don't know where they are but if you look at the top of this forum, there are some other guides.
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Noels » Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:36 am

Hi Teach and welcome to e-aa :) oh yes, I can relate to the boredom drinking. As a matter of fact, there was some people I found so boring that I had to drink to make them interesting :-D and that's no lie! The only problem for me was that the more I drank the less I did so eventually I ended up being bored pretty often so then I drank when under pressure, I drank to relax, I drank to enjoy boring people and events, I drank to keep my cool with agitated clients ......

Well done on the three days! :) 3 days is huge in an alcoholics life! You can be proud of yourself :)

Regarding the statement I don't have many people to speak English to I cant really comment as I quite enjoyed my own company whether I was sober or sloshed. I'm making an effort again this year to reach out and connect to and with people but I had absolutely no problem being on my own. Still don't :)

Yes, putting on weight was part and parcel of drinking for me but this changed very quickly when I stopped drinking. Within 2 months I lost about 8 kilograms (google says its 1,25978 stone) and ive lost more weight since then even though I adore chocolate and have at least one chocolate a day so I'm pretty chuffed with myself :) My skin and hair looked more radiant within about 3 weeks an overall I felt gorgeous and healthy by 3 weeks. It took a little bit longer for the spark to return to my eyes but its there now :wink: so all in all I'm now physically as perfect as I can possibly be at my age :-D

If you cant get to a meeting id say going the internet route is a good substitute. Just hang around here, read older threads, start reading the big book from the link Spirit Flower gave and just ask questions as you go. There's a lot of sobriety here and the members are quite happy to share what they know.

Have a fab day and speak again soon :)

mwah xxx Noels
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:41 am

How long does it take to feel better?


It all takes a few steps. The 12 steps gives you a different perspective. You can then do wonders with that. Join a gym, go for a long walk, run, help others.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby PaigeB » Tue Feb 14, 2017 11:31 am

life feels boring to me a lot of the times.

Read "A Vision For You" in our basic text, it is very hopeful for us. The text is only 164 pages long in total. Also, on page 89, I found the words: Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives." I have found it to be true for me and I hope you can find some alcoholics soon.
I am starting graduate school next week.

Things are about to get full real fast. I know I was super glad to have AA meetings to go to... a place where I could get at least 1 hour of true Peace in the chaos of life. No matter where you are in the world, you can search a meeting near you from this link http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources . If that does not yield results for you, let me know and I can help you find people who understand alcoholism - people who have lived it, not those who have studied it. We really do have a solution. Not an answer ~ a Solution.
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Busanteacher9 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:34 pm

I wanted to go to an AA meeting years ago, but the closest one is 400KM away. It's not possible for me to go there. I'm going to try to do this on my own, because I don't have a choice in the matter. But, I have some other things to do. Lately, I've been playing Pokémon Go on in the mountain park. I get to go hiking, pick up Pokémon, and visit Buddhist temples. I'm not Buddhist, but the art is really cool.

Today is my 4th day without alcohol. I feel less bloated than I was the past 2 months, but the scale says I am the same weight. But somehow, I feel a little better.
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Noels » Tue Feb 14, 2017 2:08 pm

Fantastic teach :) Keep those good vibes flowing :)
I'm in South Africa so its bed time for me (shux actually way past my bed time :shock: ) so i'll say goodnight, sweet dreams and catch up again tomorrow :)
mwah xxx Noels
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Busanteacher9 » Thu Feb 16, 2017 12:51 am

Today is day five. I started thinking about grabbing a beer to relax, but so far I haven't. I started teaching a new group f university students today. They are really motivated, and after a few minutes they opened up and responded really well to the class.

I'm not sure if AA is for me. I have been reading the stories and I feel like I am different from other people here... except that I have a drinking problem. The struggle is real. And I'm fighting this alone. I don't know if I can do ithat for much longer. As long as I make it through tonight without giving in.
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Spirit Flower » Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:43 am

I feel like I am different from other people here... except that I have a drinking problem.
Everybody thinks that. In the Big Book, it even says "we are people who would normally not mix". Like the drowning who reach a life raft, suddenly we are all in the same boat and damn glad. Except for the drink problem. yet a fellowship grows up among us. Meet some of us online (link below).

We aren't just white knuckling our sobriety. We are working the steps and achieving a whole new life.

Online chat meetings are here: viewtopic.php?f=10&t=22907
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Noels » Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:53 am

Good morning teach :D well done on the 5 days and thank you for sharing your experience with us.

Strangely I was thinking about the stories in the BB this morning and the reaction I had when I read them. I remember it was also right in the beginning when I stopped drinking, one evening really late - probably more early morning hours - hubby was sleeping, son was sleeping, AA members were sleeping - everyone it seemed but me and I remembered the one lady at the meetings said whenever she couldn't sleep she would read the stories at the back of BB. So ..... off Noels went, found the stories and started reading.

Well .... I read about 3 stories and closed that book so fast! See, to me the stories instilled even more fear than what I already had so instead of it giving me peace, hope and comfort it actually disturbed me which is most definitely not what I needed at that moment. I haven't read another story in BB since that day.

What I have found works better for me is whenever I am in doubt or unsure about something which I would call restless and irritable, I make myself a nice cup of sweet tea and I stand and look at the garden while slowly sipping my tea. I don't "fight" the feeling that I am experiencing at that particular moment nor do I investigate it any further. I simply just accept that it is there and fill myself with the beauty of what I see - the garden. (and the sweet tea :D ). Once my tea is finished I tell myself that I am NOW going to sleep and I'm going to sleep well and if that feeling that I had earlier is still there in the morning then i'll discuss it with another member of AA. Many times I'm better the next morning, sometimes I'm not and in those instances I take action - discuss it with another member BEFORE I pick up that drink.

Feeling uncertain and not so sure was very common for me right in the beginning. Heck, I still get my moments :D its part of being human :D but these days I immediately change my thinking to "if I could do it for 5 days I can do it for another 5 days" or "if I give up now then the last 5 days of suffering was actually a waste. mmmm .... I don't like that idea" or "what if I give up now and its actually right before I feel better. Surely then I'm shooting myself in the foot?"

Usually after having this little chat with myself I make a promise to myself that I will do it one more day even if I have to do it one second at a time and I accept that it is my own choice so I cant blame anyone else for "being sober" :lol: and I get busy - physically, mentally - I do whatever it takes to get through that day one second at a time. And before I know it its time to go to bed and I smile happily to myself knowing that I am another day clean and sober.

You are not alone. Ever. You are loved more than you will ever know.

Mwah xxx Noels
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Busanteacher9 » Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:51 am

Thank you for the encouragement Noels. :-) I got a Monster soda instead of alcohol. And I'll be going to bed in a couple of hours.

Also, I will check out that group chat and see if I can do that from this side of the world on the device that I have. :-)
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Noels » Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:09 am

mwah mwah mwah x 10 for you :D just keep going teach. One moment at a time. If I could do it believe me.... you can too! Oh yes I find passionfruit and lemonade is fantastic now that I'm sober. I don't know if its the sweetness but it definitely helps with cravings. Chocolates and sweets (candy) also help with physical cravings. Don't worry about weight right now. You will loose all of that pretty quick. Lets just get you through this first.

Sleepies well
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Spirit Flower » Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:01 am

Also, since face 2 face meetings might be difficult for you you can google "alcoholics anonymous xa speakers" and find many youtube tapes of speakers. It helps alot when you are alone and craving.

Also, don't discount that there are meetings where you live. It just might be difficult to find depending on the conditions of where you live. Sometimes AA needs to be under the radar.
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Roberth » Thu Feb 16, 2017 10:13 am

Hello Busanteacher9, and wellcome to E-AA My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. There are many people that are AA member in your situation. I suggest you contact AA at AA.org. There is a wealth of information on their site. Ask them about Loners Anonymous. It was set up for people in your situation.
I would be happy to help in any way I can if you would like. Just drop me and PM on this site.
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Re: Do you ever feel better?

Postby Layne » Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:17 pm

Hi Busanteacher9. Glad that you found us. I lived on a small island with no AA and where drinking was definitely heavily intertwined into the local culture, so I can definitely relate. I found the solution to my problem in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.I also found the internet and this site in particular, to be a great additional tool to help me to achieve sobriety and recovery.
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