Mental state that precedes a relapse!

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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby PaigeB » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:16 am

I am always sad when I hear that people live where there is "weak" AA... where they don't avidly work the Steps with a sponsor. You are ALL welcome to come to Iowa and work the Steps with a sponsor and take that message back to share in your groups you think are weak.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby waller_alkie » Wed Mar 01, 2017 6:06 pm

I am struggling. I don't want to drink, but I am isolating and I know this. And I know why. I lost my job about a month ago and I am trying to find work. I am also taking care of an ailing parent. On top of that, I am doing a lot of work that is online/computer-based, so I am sitting in my house behind a computer all day.

To top it off, I got word today that my previous employer is interfering with my ability to get unemployment. This after they wrongfully terminated me. I have been toying with the idea of pursuing a lawsuit, then trying to let it go, over and over during the past 30 days, but today I revisited speaking with an attorney. I found one who will take the case with a contingency fee, and we're off. So now I have that to deal with on top of everything else.

I am trying to establish some consulting work, get unemployment, perhaps file a lawsuit, stay sober... I was at peace a month and a day ago. Now everything is upside-down. I have a raging headache and was supposed to chair a meeting tonight, but never made it out of my chair to take a shower.

I struggle with depression, too. I started therapy again yesterday and I am taking my medication and everything, but that has never been enough to keep me sober. The only thing that has ever kept me sober is meetings. And it's been a while since I went to a meeting.

Help.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Mar 01, 2017 6:40 pm

Please find a sponsor who would help you understand the true powerlessness and un-manageability. Its just not about losing control after the 1st drink. All we have to do then is not take a drink. But un-fortunately our mind tricks into taking that 1st drink. Be grateful that you have not succumb to the desire yet. You tap into the power by clearing the inner-space. Too much of resentment, not good for the alcoholic. we can't find the power with hateful mind.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby waller_alkie » Wed Mar 01, 2017 8:37 pm

I have a sponsor and she is helping me. I won't drink and do not want to be resentful. I feel sad/upset about events that were beyond my control, but there are some things that are in my control to address, and I am trying to address them.

I will get back to a meeting tomorrow. That's my sponsor's advice and I know from personal experience (not my first rodeo) that that is what I need to do. Peace to you all and thanks.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:51 am

The whole 12 steps is a set of principles when applied in everyday life, it promises that the obsession to drink shall be expelled. This is from the 12 and 12. The big book also talks about being placed in the position of neutrality if we are in fit spiritual condition.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby Brock » Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:59 am

Welcome here waller_alkie, sorry that life has hit you a couple of hard blows recently, it seems to come in waves things going good then everything upside down.

As you say for you what you need is more meetings, and that's your sponsors advise, nothing wrong with that if that's where you will find the strength and support you need right now. But when things get back to 'normal' and life is running smooth again, (which will happen), I really think you should take another look at how some other AA members might handle bad situations. Maybe bring it up in a meeting soon, I get worried when I see words like “the only thing that has ever kept me sober is meetings,” because I don't believe that's what AA is all about. I have to believe my strength comes from a spiritual awaking as a result of living in the solution, and if I was stranded somewhere terrible and life was crap, with no meetings and gallons of booze all around I would still be safe.

So best of luck in resolving your current difficulties, I sincerely hope that your visit here will help you over this hurdle, but more than that I hope you find a way to come to believe, that the power of this program does not rely on attending meetings to stay sober.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby ezdzit247 » Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:33 pm

Hi Waller and welcome.

I struggle with depression, too. I started therapy again yesterday and I am taking my medication and everything, but that has never been enough to keep me sober. The only thing that has ever kept me sober is meetings. And it's been a while since I went to a meeting.


You are so fortunate to find an AA tool that works so well for you. Meetings have always worked well for me too, especially "high energy" meetings where there's a lot of healthy, positive recovery, gratitude or laughter being shared. Those kind of meetings always get me out of myself, give me a different perspective on whatever I'm dealing with, give me hope, and re-charge my battery, even when I'm not aware it's running low.

Thanks for sharing, Waller. Keep coming back.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby waller_alkie » Mon Mar 06, 2017 8:54 pm

Hi there - I need to be more careful with my stream-of-consciousness in an online AA bulletin board, for sure. I don't know that I have ever been on one before... It's fair to say that “the only thing that has ever kept me sober is meetings” should be considered a red flag. I wondered who had said that until ezdzit247 kindly quoted me! :oops:

In all honesty, I know that I have never been able to stay sober by myself, and I know I am an alcoholic, so I know I need AA. And AA meetings alone have never kept me sober, so I know I need to work the steps, too. And just working the steps and going to meetings has not been enough- especially when it hits the fan in those in-between times, like avaneesh912 said. I must have a relationship with a Power greater than myself Who I can "do business with", as my very first sponsor used to say.

I recently lost my job through an unfair series of events that I am still having a hard time understanding entirely. You wouldn't even believe me if I told you, so I won't bother. Suffice it to say, I am better off being out of the toxic environment. But it is still frustrating that it happened. God keeps calling me to see what GOOD is happening in my life. I am being given an opportunity to go into consulting work for myself, I have a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator. I have a car and my dogs and I are healthy and safe. But more than anything, I am sober for 9 months, have a wonderful network of support in AA and Al-Anon, and just started therapy. I have a strong relationship with God, and I know He is taking me to the next level of my life. It's a scary-new but exciting time.

Thank you for letting me share it with you, and thank you for reminding me to be careful about what I say regarding my recovery. I don't want to be irresponsible with my words. It's all so important.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby Noels » Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:51 pm

Good morning Waller :D What a beautiful share. Thank you for that. What I see is no longer Waller-alkie. I see Waller. Alkie-in-recovery :D I have the tendency to walk into a meeting with my big mouth and loudly say "Halloah you beautiful bunch of alkies!!!" some laugh, some seem confused/shocked but each one of them always smile. Even if it takes a minute or two :D :D :D some alkies are slower than others I guess :D :D :D but the bottom line to my story is fact ... we are indeed alkies and we are in indeed beautiful :D

I recently lost my job through an unfair series of events that I am still having a hard time understanding entirely. You wouldn't even believe me if I told you, so I won't bother. Suffice it to say, I am better off being out of the toxic environment. But it is still frustrating that it happened. - I have learned in my journey that when something like this happens I just need to accept and have faith for a door is never closed without another door or three opening up so I look at it this way "Sometimes you are delayed where you are because God knows there's a storm where you are headed. Be grateful" and as you said ...

I am being given an opportunity to go into consulting work for myself, I have a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator. I have a car and my dogs and I are healthy and safe. But more than anything, I am sober for 9 months, have a wonderful network of support in AA and Al-Anon, and just started therapy. I have a strong relationship with God, and I know He is taking me to the next level of my life. It's a scary-new but exciting time. - that is an "attitude of gratitude" :D

So well done Waller :D Thanks for sharing with us and keep on posting :D

have an awesome day today :D

mwah xxx
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Mar 07, 2017 4:45 am

This is something alien to me in the beginning. When they said "pause when agitated", I thought to myself, "Screw You". "How can you pause when the S*** is hitting the roof". Then it was pointed out that as we progress along the steps, the pause when agitated comes naturally. Of course we have to follow some few simple rules as the Doctor states. Which is the 12 steps. We look at the character defects that is holding us from ourselves, from other people and from GOD. We then tap into this inner resource the book talks about that guides us like the compass. Sometimes our compass direction may come into direct collision with somebody elses compass. You know its not Gods will. Then you chance course. But as the 10th step promise (btw its at bottom of page 84) just like the "pause when agitated", you will be restored to sanity. Again it says its all contingent upon we being in fit spiritual condition.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby kdub720 » Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:01 pm

My mental state coinsides with my potential to relapse. I have had to many concussions resulting in brain injury. I have events that trigger the mindset to relapse, yet overcome it often. I do however need to be aware after hitting my head and realize my elevated vonourability to relapse. This brain injury effects my decision making abilities, that combined with an alcoholic mind, I have to be way careful. It has got me a few times over the years. Mental state is something I watch very closely. Thanks for the great post.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby Eltrym » Sat Apr 29, 2017 7:27 am

[quote]Also we have an active thread here from someone seeking help who has no meetings in their area.. /quote

Please could you tell me where to find this thread? Thanks.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby PaigeB » Sat Apr 29, 2017 10:31 am

I am not sure what thread they are talk about El, but I hope you find some good stuff around the Forums - OR you can start a thread yourself... folks will be along soon to comment!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby D'oh » Sat Apr 29, 2017 11:36 am

Hi Waller

I recently lost my job through an unfair series of events that I am still having a hard time understanding entirely. You wouldn't even believe me if I told you, so I won't bother. Suffice it to say, I am better off being out of the toxic environment. But it is still frustrating that it happened. God keeps calling me to see what GOOD is happening in my life. I am being given an opportunity to go into consulting work for myself, I have a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator. I have a car and my dogs and I are healthy and safe. But more than anything, I am sober for 9 months, have a wonderful network of support in AA and Al-Anon, and just started therapy. I have a strong relationship with God, and I know He is taking me to the next level of my life. It's a scary-new but exciting time.


I found this site awhile back, in those exact shoes. Drank my way out of my job, close to doing the same with my Family. Life Really Suc ed . I had been in the program quite awhile, but slipped for years.

I was all over Meetings and the People in them. Every Night, Coffee after. When one Friend/Ol Timer, made me understand the 3rd step. Give it ALL to my Higher Power. There is a Path that I am suppose to be on (once MY WILL gets out of the way). If there wasn't a Path, why was I here AGAIN?

Now I just enjoy the "What happens Next?" And ask to be alert enough to see where my HP wants me to be.
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Re: Mental state that precedes a relapse!

Postby D'oh » Sat Apr 29, 2017 1:01 pm

You are ALL welcome to come to Iowa


Isn't that Uawwl in Iowain? EH? Pop up to the Northland, the Snow is almost awhl gon.

Sorry Paige. I just had to.

A Tom Petty quote
The things I worry about the most, never happen anyway
A song that helps me when that Mental State sneaks up.
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