Need some help

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Re: Need some help

Postby Noels » Fri Jan 13, 2017 6:58 am

Hi Godfirst :D thanks for your honesty.

I am a nurse and had about a 2 month problem with prescription medication that got me to an IOP rehhab
2 months?

Never before and never after? Think back to that time. Was there possibly changes that was difficult for you deal with during that particular time which could have resulted in taking too many pills? I must be very honest. There is no way I would have gone to rehab if my problem was for only 2 months. At one stage during my life I had a lot of sinus infection (spiritual meaning - anger) where a doctor considered 2 sinutabs a day a possible problem. I stopped taking them immediately. No problem. Some doctors seem to scratch where there is no itch.

I was told one time that I am an addict while in rehab and therefore, have just assumed that identity up until now
You were told only once that you are an addict? By who? The same doctor who saw me that time and was scratching an imaginary itch? Why do you believe you are indeed an addict? Was there any other substance abuse at any other time in your life? How did you end up in rehab? Was it due to an attempted once off overdose perhaps?

I honestly would have investigated it a little a bit further. :D Alcoholics / Addicts seem to have no brakes :D Just saying.

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Re: Need some help

Postby Spirit Flower » Fri Jan 13, 2017 8:03 am

fwiw, I think there is a difference between an addict and an alcoholic. Everyone can get addicted to drugs. However, the majority of people are not addicted to alcohol and are able to drink without problems.
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Re: Need some help

Postby Brock » Fri Jan 13, 2017 8:13 am

I admire the honesty and openness of your posts. I think my friend who spoke of abstaining for a year, missed the part where you originally said you are sober for three and a half years. It's one thing to test the craving with a couple of drinks, our literature says if we can consistently do that, and not feel irritated that we can't drink enough to get blotto, then we are probably not alcoholic.

But the problem as I see it, and it is something I considered in my first couple of years in AA, why do I want to have those couple anyway, to relax and forget the days worries for a while perhaps. Hell I see folks on TV like the family in Blue Bloods always having a couple whiskeys after dinner, surely that's what 'normal' folks do, and I wanted to be normal. But then I came to realize that's not normal either, it's just TV glamorizing, very few people I believe feel the need or urge to have a couple, my mind was playing tricks on me, my alcoholic mind.

I also agree with what Noels and Spirit have said, if I were you and went to a social event where most people were drinking, I wouldn't see the harm in having a couple, nobody is going to tell me an intelligent family oriented lady is going to be searching for pills right after doing that. Because I expect that lady to be smart enough to sense if the social drink did indeed raise any temptation, to either drink at home (invent our own social event), or worse seek out pills or whatever.

I admire your church involvement, I used to to be quite involved myself, but drifted away from that now, the priest said to me once “you have become a hatch, match, and dispatch Catholic, I only see you at christenings, weddings, and funerals.” Well I am doing just fine with that, having firmly established that living a peaceful spiritual life does not necessarily mean being close to religion. I follow the daily e-mail writings of Fr. Richard Rohr, Catholic priest and good friend of AA, the first paragraph in today's message says this -
One great idea of the biblical revelation is that God is manifest in the ordinary, in the actual, in the daily, in the now, in the concrete incarnations of life. Our experiences of ordinary life will transform us if we are willing to experience them fully. This is quite different than much of religion’s emphasis on being pure, perfect, or correct to find God. Jesus stands religion on its head! In fact, some historians of religion claim that Jesus proclaimed the end of religion. (Of course, we quickly undid this mistake!)

But once again, my only concern is why does a lady who's prayers of having a baby will soon be answered, concern herself with whether or not she can drink socially after the baby is born. I don't have the answer to that, but wish you the best in figuring it out.
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Re: Need some help

Postby thebowsie » Fri Jan 13, 2017 8:36 am

Kayleigh, only you can determine whether you are an addict or not. Addiction comes in many forms and not everyone is an addict. Not everyone is an alcoholic. While some in AA (that's my only experience) may beat the drum that if you step into AA you are automatically an alcoholic-I don't proscribe to that mantra. My sister has been known to have a couple glasses of wine and that does NOT make her an alcoholic. My weight fluctuates and I ate a lot of goodies over the holidays - that doesn't make me a candidate for Over-eaters Anonymous.

You know your own story and what led you into an IOP program after two months of pill use. You are a nurse - so this pill/addiction stuff must be somewhat in your wheelhouse of having been seen by you on a work-related basis throughout your career.

For me - I was a Stage 4 Alcoholic and there was no chance that I was not. When I was in the hospital, the shrinks would ask me if I was suicidal - I didn't understand the question so I asked, you mean like jumping off my balcony? I didn't even know Special K was a drug - I just thought it was a breakfast cereal by Kelloggs. You see, some of the shrinks always want you to have more than one addiction. I never took any drugs - just drank until I couldn't stop drinking and had the DT's, etc. Had I even intimated any type of suicide scenario (other thank drinking myself to death), they'd of put me on mind-benders just because they could. I saw so many people in my 90-day IOP that were struggling with the newly prescribed psyche meds and they identified as alcoholic. It wasn't my place to say anything but I was glad I wasn't in that boat. When I got my 24-hour chip, I was in the hospital detoxing medically. For the first few days they had me on withdrawl meds and then I requested off of them as I didn't want to trade one addiction for another. I was being medically supervised for health issues and that was good enough for me. I drank myself into that basket and I would get out of it. That will be 18 years ago as of April 12, 1999, I've been sober ever since because for me, I chose life and used and continue to use the steps of AA as a tool for my life.

For you, the circumstances may be entirely different. My suggestion would be to give it some serious thought and at the very least with your introduction to AA - you know the program is out there and you have acquired some additional tools for improving your life and dissecting situations and thoughts to obtain clarity and in some cases, a plan of action for yourself.

Good luck with your baby and even with the help of counselors, sometimes they just want to push things down your throat since it is so PC to do so. Bottom line you ask 100 people their opinion and you'll get 100 similar or dissimilar answers. The decision my dear is entirely up to you. Best wishes from Arizona, USA.
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Re: Need some help

Postby GodFirst » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:02 am

Good questions.

I socially drank for years. By socially I mean having 1 or 2 once or twice per month. And I've been clean and sober from anything mind or mood altering for 3.5 years.

I don't necessarily feel disconnnted in my life.. I feel discontent with the program as this point. There are a few other things that have happened in the rooms that have turned me off a bit. So I steered clear of those meetings and moved to others and still found the same issues.

I'll be heading to a meeting tonight and talking with my sponsor.
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Re: Need some help

Postby GodFirst » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:34 am

I didn't even see the second pages of responses! I'm so sorry!

What got me until IOP was the fact that I'm a nurse. That's what got me there. When the medications came into play in my life, I was in emotional turmoil. I was dealing with a lot of issues that have no been remedied. Both in my marriage, personal life and emotional status.

The person who told me I was an addict was the therapist at the rehab. I never questioned it as I just wanted to find a solution. Now o find myself wondering, "am I truly an addict?". My mom who is 100% "normal" (i.e. She has s glass of wine on special occasions and is a healthy women emotionally) went to multiple meetings with me as she questioned whether or not I was truly an addict but from those meetings gathered that we should all work the steps in one capacity or another just to improve upon our spiritual condition and take a look inward at our defects. So, that is essentially what I've done.

And truthfully what had got me thinking about social drinking are several people who know me closely and love me have been saying to me, "I don't see the harm in you having a drink at this wedding.... or Christmas... or New Years". And after hearing it from people and thinking about it, I've started to question it as well.
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Re: Need some help

Postby Tosh » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:36 am

GodFirst wrote:I don't necessarily feel disconnnted in my life.. I feel discontent with the program as this point. There are a few other things that have happened in the rooms that have turned me off a bit. So I steered clear of those meetings and moved to others and still found the same issues.

I'll be heading to a meeting tonight and talking with my sponsor.


I've been going to meetings now for coming up to 8 years. I doubt I'll hear anything new or life-altering. I hear the same kind of stories, again and again, and I'm not just talking about drunkalogues, but recovery stories too.

I don't feel like I need meetings to stay sober.

So why do I still go?

Well I'm active in sponsorship, I am always taking a guy through the steps and once I'm finished with a guy (i.e. we've covered Chapter 7), or if they've finished with me, I'll find another.

So I still go to meetings to find guys to take through the steps and I also go to be an example to the guys I already sponsor.

I think it's a bit like making dinner. If I'm only making dinner for myself, I can't really be bothered, I'll just knock something up quickly and not put any effort into it.

But if I'm making dinner for other people, I'll put more effort into it, because doing it for others has more meaning in it than just doing it for myself.

Going to meetings is like that. If you're going only for yourself, it will not have any meaning for you. But if you're going for others (if that's your intention regardless of being a practical help to someone), then you'll find more meaning in that.

That's my penny.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Need some help

Postby Spirit Flower » Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:35 pm

And truthfully what had got me thinking about social drinking are several people who know me closely and love me have been saying to me, "I don't see the harm in you having a drink at this wedding.... or Christmas... or New Years". And after hearing it from people and thinking about it, I've started to question it as well.


If you really are an alcoholic, what other people think is ok will kill you. For a real alcoholic, one drink leads back to continuous drinking; and faster than you think. We simply cannot have one. It doesn't work.
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Re: Need some help

Postby Noels » Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:54 pm

Well hon I'm probably going to be crucified for saying this but I'll say it anyway.

You seem to have gotten into the program more related to drugs. You've never had a problem with alcohol before. If it was me I would have done the test as mentioned in the BB and in Avas post on the basis that I as well as my support keep a very close eye on my alcohol intake and reaction. IF you find your reaction is indeed indicative of you being an alcoholic take action to stop immediately.
Alcohol is not the problem. For normal drinkers it's something pleasant to enjoy socially. I don't see why you should loose out on anything in life if you are in fact a normal drinker and how will you know unless you do the test?
Please just don't try this or drink while still pregnant OR breastfeeding.
Good luck and glad you posted. Let us know what happens OK?
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Re: Need some help

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:09 pm

"I don't see the harm in you having a drink at this wedding.... or Christmas... or New Years". And after hearing it from people and thinking about it, I've started to question it as well.

You say you worked the steps with your sponsor. I am seriously doubt if were taken through the key segments of the book.

There is a solution talks about 3 types of drinkers. Moderate drinkers, Hard drinkers and then the alcoholic. The first 2 can walk away from sporadic drinking. Not so with the true one.

Like the book talks about, you will have to try it for yourself. It offers 2 types one to test the craving piece the other to test the mental aspect (peculiar mental twist).
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Need some help

Postby Noels » Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:55 pm

i]Just so you all know, my husband will celebrate 31 years of continuous sobriety as of January14th, 2017 [/i]

CONGRATULATIONS to your husbands 31st sobriety birthday Thebowsie :D

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Re: Need some help

Postby tomsteve » Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:14 am

GodFirst wrote: There are a few other things that have happened in the rooms that have turned me off a bit. So I steered clear of those meetings and moved to others and still found the same issues.

theres going to be unfavorable actions anywhere, even in a congregation- a group of sinners.

I think jesus and the apostles were around some unfavorable people and actions a time or 2 yet didn't let that stop them from carrying the message.

if you dont want to go to meetings,dont go, but if you decide to keep attending, I hope ya make your motive to carry the message to the still suffering alcoholic.

when I start questioning if I should stop doing something that could be helping someone else or myself, that's satan whispering- he's the author of confusion
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