How to Let Go

For recovery discussion

Re: How to Let Go

Postby PuppyEars » Mon Oct 10, 2016 1:32 pm

Yo Robert. Hope life has been great my friend. Thanks for bringing up step 12 or carrying the message. It would seem to me the further we get into step work the more vulnerabilty is needed to continue. People run at just admitting they are alcoholic let alone a fact facing mission that has us actually writing stuff on paper and knocking on doors to make amends to stand in the presence of someone you hurt real bad. These things are cringe-worthy to someone that has a facade up. I guess my question to you is how is there not a level of vulnerability needed to do 12th step work?
1488
User avatar
PuppyEars
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 308
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 4:39 pm

Re: How to Let Go

Postby Brock » Mon Oct 10, 2016 3:06 pm

I was taught early on that if I was alone in a room with my problems I should get the hell out of the room and help someone with theirs.

I believe there is truth in this, but also that the program of AA offers other more permanent solutions. I can't accept that unless I help others I won't be rid of my problems, whether they are in my head or elsewhere, the spiritual development encouraged in step eleven can do the job.

There are many books on the subject, we tend to identify with our problems and they become almost who we are. If we can learn to live in the present moment, we find that usually there is no problem, or at any rate accept that worrying about what might happen or what has happened is pointless.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
User avatar
Brock
Forums Coordinator
 
Posts: 3162
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: How to Let Go

Postby Layne » Mon Oct 10, 2016 5:03 pm

One of my problems that kept me drinking was being selfish and self-centered. I learned to work on that problem by working with others.
Layne
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1517
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 7:20 am
Location: British Virgin Islands

Re: How to Let Go

Postby Noels » Mon Oct 10, 2016 11:58 pm

Good morning beautiful people :D I swing more to agree with Brock on this one.
Is it not a selfish act within itself to help others so that you can feel better / your focus be removed from your problem or doing so hoping that your problem will get better because you're helping someone else?
Is it not fear based if we carry the message /solution to others thinking that because we do so we will not drink again?
Self-less to me means doing something for another without any hopes of getting something back in return.
So if I have to base /build my sobriety on helping others I will surely drink again?
If it really worked like that - by helping others our problems are automatically removed - then I should never have had the experience of being an alcoholic for all I've done my entire life was to help others.
Working the program taught me to sort out myself first - including my problems - as I can only truly help another if I already have what they require from me. Not the other way around
Love and light
Noels
There is only Love
Noels
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1247
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 6:14 am

Re: How to Let Go

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Oct 11, 2016 3:31 am

how is there not a level of vulnerability needed to do 12th step work?


Would you please elaborate more on this? If you are talking about emotional stress that this would cause on the person who is helping others? Mainly going out of the way to help another and that person not getting it? If that is what you mean by your question, there is always pain involved. That is why its the last part of the package. We all know there will be failures. But we do that in the hope that occasionally one will get it and that one might turn around and help few others.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
User avatar
avaneesh912
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 4638
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: How to Let Go

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:29 am

I can't accept that unless I help others I won't be rid of my problems


Eckhart talks about sitting in meditation in no thought zone, is a selfless act. That is because we are not contributing into the psychic pollution. Also, in my own experience, first few years I would liked to have worked with few more people, but it was far and few. I would have been frustrated but for other activities we could do in the fellowship. Later I ran into a man who has about 35 years and even he shared with me the same experience, serious people whom he had worked with are just handful.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
User avatar
avaneesh912
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 4638
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: How to Let Go

Postby PuppyEars » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:44 am

ava, the best way for me to illustrate this is by sharing one of my failings on step 12. I know I am ready for more people to help but what is stopping me from approaching more new guys in meetings? It's because a secret part of me believes I am fixed - which is the facade - so I am not as willing to make myself vulnerable as I once was because I can't see any impending doom.

Doesn't get any more real than that. Just typing that required more vulnerability than you know about.
1488
User avatar
PuppyEars
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 308
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 4:39 pm

Re: How to Let Go

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:56 am

It's because a secret part of me believes I am fixed - which is the facade - so I am not as willing to make myself vulnerable as I once was because I can't see any impending doom.


I am fixed. Lol. In the sense, I have had the obsession removed. Best of all the fear that I might pick up another drink is no more. Reason? I believe for me the Spiritual malady was the key. Every time, I put down the drink, my internal conditions percolated and boom, one of those days someone says something or does something, I would go out to show them who I am! The peculiar mental twist!. So, today, I put all my effort in keeping those emotions in check. So, I have no apprehension about my path.

So the 10th step caveat that the book points out: "As long as we keep in fit spiritual condition" we should be good. That means, I need to keep focus on the state of mind....Am I restless irritable and discontented? Is a good question to ask periodically. Another way Eckhart talks about is what is the relationship with the NOW?
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
User avatar
avaneesh912
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 4638
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: How to Let Go

Postby Layne » Tue Oct 11, 2016 7:41 am

Helping others can be selfish or it can be selfless depending upon the motives and expectations.
Layne
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1517
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 7:20 am
Location: British Virgin Islands

Re: How to Let Go

Postby kdub720 » Thu Nov 10, 2016 3:01 pm

Hey, Right on. Nice topic.
Letting go for me means many different things. Letting go of worries to be trusted in God. Also letting go of my addiction to the booze. I crave it and I feel like a want to reach for it, yet at the same time taking that message and letting my desire go. Good write, got me thinking.
kdub720
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 166
Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2015 12:03 pm

Previous

Return to Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests