Is it really One Day at a Time?

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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby Reborn » Fri Sep 02, 2016 5:08 pm

Complacency is a big part of it but what about working with others?

page 89...

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.

Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.


This tells me that when all else fails intense work with other alcoholics is the key. Of course prayer and meditation is important...cleaning up the S*** as I go is important...but I can't forget to reach out to those who still suffer. Working with newcomers...going into jails and institutions keeps me in the solution of the Big Book. Being an active participant in another alcoholic's recovery is an experience I'm glad I don't miss and is definitely a bright spot in my life.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Sep 03, 2016 3:30 am

The end result of complacency does not always lead us back to drinking. We can become uptight pricks that no one wants to associate with as well. Alcoholics have committed suicide sober - among other awful things.


Its unfortunate but so true. We don't know what goes on inside the head. Eckhart talks about about the 'voice in the head'. If it gets too loud, we do crazy things. Last year a woman in our group took her autistic
sons life and then killed herself. That shook me a bit because, I have listened to her share and she always shared about following the principles and about taking directions from the sponsor. And just today, one of the guy I am helping told me that he is going to a funeral service of a young man who was with him in treatment center. All stone cold sober when they took their lives. Un-treated alcoholism. Like the daily reflection states its not about "not drinking just for today".
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby Brock » Sat Sep 03, 2016 5:33 am

Eckhart talks about about the 'voice in the head'. If it gets too loud, we do crazy things. Last year a woman in our group took her autistic sons life and then killed herself. That shook me a bit because, I have listened to her share and she always shared about following the principles and about taking directions from the sponsor.

I wonder if her sponsor told her about things like we saw in the reflection yesterday - “The willingness to grow is the essence of all spiritual development.” We can attend meetings every day and talk a good game, but inside some may be dying.

Not too long ago, if avaneesh had put that name 'Eckhart” up, I would be thinking why the hell does he keep going on about that, I tried reading that book and I just don't get it. So eventually I got the audio version online for free, so now reading and listening to him at the same time, pausing to reflect or ponder on certain points made, and starting to get it. But more importantly starting to feel the results in less identification with the mind, (ego), and better all round enjoyment of life. If the AA program does not lead us to a life that is enjoyable, we will go back to drink or do like the poor lady did, give up on life.

If anyone believes this spiritual development and reading, should be some sort of regimental thing, where each day we must do it whether we feel to or not, I believe they are mistaken. When you force yourself into praying or reading or listening to a spiritual message, it becomes like the terrible thing that happened to many of us, in the days we were 'forced' by our parents to attend church. So we do it when we feel like it, and for as long as we can concentrate on what we are doing, ten minutes of concentrated reading or listing, I believe are better than an hour of forced effort when we would prefer to be doing something else.

One of the best speakers on the power and importance of spiritual development is Sandy B, many of his tapes are on you tube. The internet is full of free resources for anyone seeking spiritual development, choose what appeals to you, not what someone else says you should do, but give peoples recommendation a good try, at first it may not appeal like Eckhart didn't to me. When you find the right power to move you forward and put a smile on your face, you will never be complacent again.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby PuppyEars » Sat Sep 03, 2016 12:58 pm

One of the best speakers on the power and importance of spiritual development is Sandy B

We tried flying him out to our area to share 2 years ago but his ill health prevented it. r.i.p.
In one of his shares he talked about how spiritual progress is inviting God into all our affairs and how we settle for as much perfection as will get us by. He gave a story of quitting smoking on his own will power (never inviting God for help) and how it set him back spiritually because his will power did work, but the subtle price was his mind thinking "what else can I accomplish without God's help". Very powerful lessons that go beyond the book I agree.
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby clouds » Sun Sep 04, 2016 7:18 am

Very interesting quote there P.ears. The dangers of willpower in combating any of my problems was reinforced by that!

Thanks. :)

Not to derail this discussion of odaat though. I use the one day at a time slogan to remind me to stay in the moment, which defeats my egoism, it silences my resentments, self pity or argumentitiveness long enough to turn the moment around. It gives me space to do a quick inventory before I say regretable things before I've had time to reflect. I can't say how exactly this works for me, but after long practice I think of it as a way to accept what the current moment of the day brings to me and so I am growing more and more freedom from creating uneccessary drama or conflict. This brings more harmony and a much happier life than I would have without it.

Living in the present was always an integral part of practicing the spiritual principles in my daily life. As mentioned by someone already, its only in the present that I can apply these principles to all my affairs.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby PaigeB » Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:32 am

by Brock » Fri Sep 02, 2016 12:07 pm

"It might be more dangerous for some to believe that after a Spiritual Awakening, those thoughts will no longer come into our daily activities." (D'oh)

I agree, but if the thought comes the book says we pull away as from a hot flame,

The hot flame reference is from Step 10's promises... we cannot expect a newcomer to retract from the thought of a drink with that sort of surety. They must have some more basic tools. We show them that it will get better if they take the time to work the Steps.

I have been filled with hope when I hear other long timers talk about how they handled the passing "thought of" a cold one after mowing the lawn or the revulsion of encountering the idea that "Maybe I overestimated this thing and I could have one after 10 years sober!" I have been given hope by these folks who have met life's problems, faced the truth that even after the Steps and after years of sobriety, we are still alcoholics and need to bring this program into our lives on a daily basis lest we lose Hope and our Sunlight of the Spirit. I know a gal who nursed the thought of having a drink until years of doubt and suffering, she convinced herself that a few would be ok. She even called me and told me, "All is well! I can have 3 and go about my business". She is back in the program now ~ at least she did not die out there and we learned from her experience that the wolf you feed will win.

PS - I am sad to hear of the woman whose problems brought her to homicide/suicide. We alcoholics are so ready to believe that we are alone in our issues and there are no options. I wish like hell she had just gone out and bought a bottle and tied on a good one! For in alcoholism we DO have a solution. Maybe she would have had the strength to ask for help if she had held off on the ultimate violence, even if just for today.

Tomorrow might not be better, but things WILL look different.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby Noels » Sun Sep 04, 2016 12:40 pm

Hi everyone :D what a beautiful discussion. I totally agree with Clouds and Paige. In the beginning it was essential for me to practise the one day at a time principle - not to drink- until it, by itself, turned into one day at a time because I'm living in the moment. Drink was no longer the focus.
A very simple and understandable book with exercises to help with spiritual development is 'you can heal your life ' by Louisa Heyes. Simple language and truth is what it's all about.
Love and light xxx
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Sep 04, 2016 3:38 pm

I know a gal who nursed the thought of having a drink until years of doubt and suffering, she convinced herself that a few would be ok. She even called me and told me, "All is well! I can have 3 and go about my business". She is back in the program now ~ at least she did not die out there and we learned from her experience that the wolf you feed will win.


If somebody without the knowledge of how the process works comes up with this statement, we could accept it.

To experience the 10th step promise there is a pre-requisite. "Be in fit spiritual condition". Moreover, this woman looks like she never accepted the 1st step like the Accountant story. There is no question of moving forward.

And why would we come up with statements like this? We show them that it will get better if they take the time to work the Steps. when the book suggests we are being restored to sanity as we commenced this way of life? When we are at step 10. And again we read here getting to step 10 need not be a herculean task. A quick inventory and start working on 10 and 11, we could then start cleaning the past (making amends).

This thought (of making amends and the hope of experiencing the 9th step promises) brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby D'oh » Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:39 am

PaigeB wrote:
by Brock » Fri Sep 02, 2016 12:07 pm

"It might be more dangerous for some to believe that after a Spiritual Awakening, those thoughts will no longer come into our daily activities." (D'oh)

I agree, but if the thought comes the book says we pull away as from a hot flame,

The hot flame reference is from Step 10's promises... we cannot expect a newcomer to retract from the thought of a drink with that sort of surety. They must have some more basic tools. We show them that it will get better if they take the time to work the Steps.


PS - I am sad to hear of the woman whose problems brought her to homicide/suicide. We alcoholics are so ready to believe that we are alone in our issues and there are no options. I wish like hell she had just gone out and bought a bottle and tied on a good one! For in alcoholism we DO have a solution. Maybe she would have had the strength to ask for help if she had held off on the ultimate violence, even if just for today.

Tomorrow might not be better, but things WILL look different.


We have shown how we got out from under. You say, “Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?”
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you.
pg.152

A Spiritual Awakening is needed, but the Fellowship is also needed. For in order to keep the Gift, we must give it away. Daily.
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby Brock » Mon Sep 05, 2016 10:31 am

A Spiritual Awakening is needed, but the Fellowship is also needed. For in order to keep the Gift, we must give it away. Daily.

I am not arguing or typing for typing sake, but if the fellowship is needed, and we need to give the gift away daily, anyone living in a remote area, or serving in the merchant marine, might as well reach for the bottle right now !

They write a book, and go out of their way to include the story “Lifesaving Words,” about an Indian army officer who could not attend meetings, he says in part – “Three years and three months of sobriety, without a slip, has meant a lot to me, my wife, and my family. It has meant life...I have never attended an AA meeting, so it is essentially the literature that has kept me on the AA program.” Why would they put that in the bloody book if it wasn't true ? and intended to give hope and encouragement to those so situated that meetings aren't possible.
But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?

If I thought the only substitute was a fellowship in AA I wouldn't stay, if some people enjoy that good for them, we really shouldn't say things must be this way or that, just because that's the way we do it.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby PuppyEars » Mon Sep 05, 2016 11:46 am

For in order to keep the Gift, we must give it away. Daily.
Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure Keeping the gift as intensive work with other alcoholics.

What? No that can't be right.
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby D'oh » Mon Sep 05, 2016 11:53 am

I am not arguing or typing for typing sake, but if the fellowship is needed, and we need to give the gift away daily, anyone living in a remote area, or serving in the merchant marine, might as well reach for the bottle right now !


Neither am I. It is said if we want to know How, H for Honesty, O for Open-mindedness, W for Willingness.

So just as you figure my quote says, without the Fellowship, one is written off as incurable with this program. But you are condemning those without a Spiritual Awakening by the 11th step? How Open-minded is that?

I think that the first 164 pages, has as many meanings as it does readers. And "Trudging this Road of Happy Destiny" has just begun for those who have read the 164 pages. Everyday is a Day we Must grow and utilize it's teachings.
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby PaigeB » Mon Sep 05, 2016 12:01 pm

I know a gal who nursed the thought of having a drink until years of doubt and suffering, she convinced herself that a few would be ok. She even called me and told me, "All is well! I can have 3 and go about my business". She is back in the program now ~ at least she did not die out there and we learned from her experience that the wolf you feed will win.

My friend had 13 years of sobriety. She worked the Steps and helped others do the same. You can argue the process but you cannot argue my experience.

What is wrong with "We show them that it will get better if they take the time to work the Steps." Of course they must work the Steps to get to Step 10. I did not suggest a time limit and I do not think there is one. Sooner is better than later, but it is up to their HP if they "get it".

I watched my friend slowly, painfully convince herself over a year's time that she was not an alcoholic. Only an alcoholic will have that twisted thought and the obsession follows when we feed that twisted thought. All the prayer in the world did not work to heal her unfit spiritual condition and she doomed herself by not working the program daily, but rather living in the problem daily. Trust me, many tried to help her.

Getting this thing will ALWAYS be an inside job, one between a drunk & their HP.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby Brock » Mon Sep 05, 2016 12:18 pm

But you are condemning those without a Spiritual Awakening by the 11th step? How Open-minded is that?

I am trying my best to understand what you mean by that. The fact is you said in order to keep the gift, we must give it away daily. What is the gift if not a spiritual awaking as the result of these steps, I have spoken many times of the value of fellowship and meetings while we do those steps.
Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure Keeping the gift as intensive work with other alcoholics...What? No that can't be right.

No it's not right, it says it will insure immunity from drinking, and it says nothing about giving any gift away on a daily basis.
She worked the Steps and helped others do the same.

And even then it's not a guarantee that we won't drink, as Paige's friend did.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Is it really One Day at a Time?

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 12:59 pm

You can argue the process but you cannot argue my experience.


Your experience? You are sharing the experience of some other person. We don't know a hoot what goes on in somebody elses mind. We don't know how convinced she was about the powerlessness. Lot of things goes on in a person. Just because she was sober and sponsored several woman doesn't mean a thing.

Are you trying to sell the idea that a person being spiritually fit can suddenly takes a drink? This is exactly opposite what the 10th step promises are about. But I am not saying that people dont go out, what I am trying to say is there is a period where the individual slowly regresses and slowly get shut off from the sunlight of the spirit. They get thirsty and hit a blind spot.

Have you read the story "He sold himself short"? He gets well with the guidance of Dr. Bob. Sober for 9 months or so then he allows a resentment creep in. And then gets drunk. Thats what I am trying to point out.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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