i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

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i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby shadower4 » Fri Aug 19, 2016 4:34 pm

it started 3 months ago, my feet and hands itching like crazy like i'm being bit up by bugs i thought i had dust mites and fumigated my room. Turns out from my googling it was nerve damage, after 5 days sober it finally went away, i didn't sleep a second for 3 days, that plus work killed me. It has been off and on if i went on a bing drinking streak then it would come up again. a week ago and everyday since, permanently i feel not the biting like itchy feeling but like something is inbetween my big toe and the toe next to it on both feet, almost a numbing type feeling, i don't like it, it feels weird when i move. google says it's common in diabetics and could become permanently. i lso went through the worst withdraw ever like 5 months ago, i thought i was going to die, the alcohol mixed with my new anti depressant badly and after a 3 day bing drinking day and night i felt something was wrong, at the end of it all my hands looked shriveled up like a 70 year old man, i grew random stretch marks, pretty sure my immune system totally shut down for the time. i'm drinking tonight and i bought a bottle of vodka, i'm drinking tomorrow after work, after that i'm done, for real this time, this is too much, alcohol has ruined the last 3 years of my life, i'm about to be 24, when i don't drink though it's just so tough, i'm so depressed what's their to look forward to, wake up work, go home and try to sleep even though i know i wont, the sleep and depression came before alcohol entered the picture but i know alcohol just makes my mood more unstable
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby PuppyEars » Fri Aug 19, 2016 5:06 pm

i'm drinking tonight and i bought a bottle of vodka, i'm drinking tomorrow after work, after that i'm done, for real this time

If a mere set of ..... :lol:

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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby Brock » Sat Aug 20, 2016 8:15 am

i also went through the worst withdraw ever like 5 months ago, i thought i was going to die...

The people here have done the same thing, three days no sleep trembling and feeling terrible, and some people who are worse off do die. It is wise when we decide to stop to at least ask a doctor for advise, we can be given something to make it easier and safer, or if possible of course check into a detox facility.

i'm drinking tomorrow after work, after that i'm done, for real this time…

Unfortunately the people here have said the same thing, most of us many times. Stopping drinking is not that hard, staying stopped is, and if you are a real alcoholic you simply can't do it alone. AA has meetings all over, just Goggle AA meetings and your city name, try a few until you find the ones you like. But please keep a couple of things in mind, when you do what the program asks you will not feel to drink at all, and a surprising new direction opens in your life, you can't drink and you are happy about it. Secondly, the meetings especially at first aren't that much fun, most of us come to enjoy them, but whether or not you do, after you learn and understand the program, you will not need them anywhere as much as you do at first, most of us go to a couple a week, mainly to help new folks like yourself. Best of luck to you, and ask any questions you have here, it's a pleasure to answer them.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby Sleddog75 » Sat Aug 20, 2016 8:21 am

Shaky McShakes!! I don't miss that. I know a lot of people who were shaking like a little leaf after a hard night of taking the bottle to Pound-town. I remember the days I used to smoke a boatload of pot to counter the horror effects of a 2-3 day session. I'm not saying take up smoking pot but I chillingly recall the terror effects of withdrawing. If you have to, check into detox or a hospital. Then as soon as you are released, get a big book/sponsor and attend a meeting. Don't waste one minute. Hit the steps and never drink again.
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby D'oh » Sat Aug 20, 2016 12:20 pm

So after this bottle, and then the next bottle, then that is it right? Or is that the time to Google it?

Really buddy, I don't know you, or your life. But I do know what you are going through, and there is another way. Trust me!

There was a Time that I could not imagine a life without a drink. But there is, and even a life without wanted to drink.

Good Luck, and if nothing else, Stop Google and see a Doctor!
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby PaigeB » Sat Aug 20, 2016 12:25 pm

You should probably see a doctor for your physical symptoms. We only know recovery from alcoholism and still sometimes that requires a doctor's assistance. That being said up front...

Oh boy! I remember those hive like hangovers! Yes, I had something like that too - in my heart I knew I had gone too far, making myself allergic to alcohol. Scary spot that one. I could no longer imagine drinking nor could I imagine not drinking. But I DID continue to drink. And many times I planned that tomorrow would be the last day. Finally I got to a meeting and I haven't had a drink since then - been 7 years now!

I do hope you get yourself to a meeting. Folks there will be literally HAPPY to help you. You do not have to be sober to go to one, but it works better if you are not drinking. Also, try calling the hotline in your area. I can help you find the number if you do not find it by web searching, aa + zip code. Just click on my name and it will take you a page where you will see send private message. Then tell me your city or zip code and I'll find it for ya. You can also follow the links through, http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

Glad you found us here too. e-aa has much to offer and I am sure many other members will be along to share their experience, strength and hope with you! WELCOME!
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby serendipity » Sat Aug 20, 2016 4:06 pm

PuppyEars wrote:We will save you a seat.


Absolutely. I agree with this.

Keep coming back. We are here for you.

You've made the biggest step towards getting better and that is reaching out. I certainly hope that we hear more from you!
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby clouds » Sun Aug 21, 2016 7:21 am

Try your best to get to an AA meeting in your area. Sounds like you need some help! AA has successfully gotten many many people sober. There are no dues to pay, just show up and listen to how others, justlike you, did it.

Welcome to e-AA!
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby shadower4 » Sun Aug 21, 2016 5:26 pm

i was expecting everyone to be annoy by my drunk rant about my issues :( thanks for all the support, i looked into meeting last night, i think i'll go to one
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby D'oh » Sun Aug 21, 2016 7:41 pm

We have ALL been there. Try a Meeting, there is nothing to lose. Just an hour of your time.

Very few people Bite anymore.
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby beginningagain7 » Mon Aug 22, 2016 8:43 am

You have been given some very good suggestions here. But it will be your choice if you want to follow those suggestions. It's your health and your life.

The internet is a good place to find information, but it does not replace seeing a Doctor on health issues. And one thing that would be very important that you inform the Doctor about your drinking habits.

As you have read you are not alone others have had some of the issues that you have been facing. One thing I would suggest that you carry with you is some chocolate candy it helps when the shakes come up. Also drink orange juices that also helps. And if you like turkey that helps. Eating healthy food helps our body from the abuse we have given it during our drinking. Again this is only a suggestion.

Find that AA meeting and go to a f2f meeting you will learn that yes if you keep on drinking you can permanently damage you health.
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby Roberth » Mon Aug 22, 2016 11:39 am

Hello shadower4 and well to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. Permanent damage or not I still don’t have to drink over it. At 65 I have to take more drugs now than I did in the 60’s. (For you young folks that was your Grandparents party decade)
Self-diagnosis and the internet is usually not a good thing for alcoholics. I get symptoms from watching medicine ads on TV and I am not even taking the drugs in the ad.
It has been suggested to see a doctor that seems to be some sound advice to me.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
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Re: i might have permanently damaged myself i'm scared

Postby kdub720 » Tue Aug 30, 2016 9:40 am

Wow, great post. I have been trapped by the bottle many times, and have been scared to quite because of withdrawls, yet it is worth it. Sleep is tough after so many years drinking. I talked with other recoverying alcoholics and started taking melotonin at night to get good sleep. It works, it is natural and helps you relax and fall asleep. Take it early though because if you take it late and have to wake early you may feel groggy.
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