Sharing at meetings

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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby Chelle » Sat Oct 08, 2016 7:17 am

I am quite the sensitive soul, as I take things personally. Whining is a bit harsh of a word. The point of the cat thing was just shared in reference to..I just put my friend down, and I came here immediately because you guys remind me to stay in the solution. That is all. I also shared on another occasion that my niece had killed herself earlier that morning, but also shared how I am dealing with life on life terms. I managed to stay sober through those things.

Going back to the op..sharing at the meeting. Perhaps I have been doing it wrong, and will take my shares into further consideration after reading how the old timers really seem to feel about these matters. :oops:
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby Lali » Sat Oct 08, 2016 8:09 am

Chelle, e-aa is different from f2f meetings in that when we share our personal problems here it's not taking up member's meeting time (meetings being a mere hour long in most groups). If someone doesn't want to read something here, they don't have to. A lot of people here use the section here titled "If It Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else" to talk about their personal stuff. We are a relatively small group and I enjoy getting to know the people here better through their personal posts. So please feel free to share whatever your heart desires here at e-aa. I'm assuming by your name that you are female. (Sorry if I'm wrong!) We often share stuff of a very personal nature in the women's forum. If you aren't already registered for the women's forum, please consider doing so! Simply send a PM to Paige that you want to register and she will help you do so.
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby Duke » Sat Oct 08, 2016 9:51 am

You can't do it wrong Chelle. Keep coming back. Just let those who critique others have their say and let them go. Their problems are not yours.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby Reborn » Sat Oct 08, 2016 10:29 am

In my area there are alot of treatment facilities...most of the meetings are over run with these folks mandated to be there. They are welcome...and some of them become willing to work the 12 steps and change their life. These meetings are super sick with only a few who attend regularly that are actually in the solution. We have a few really good meetings too...but guess what...you hardly ever see these folks with long term sobriety sitting in the sick meetings trying to carry the message. The Big Book talks about going to the most sordid spot on earth to carry the message...this place is definitely sordid. I have also had the opportunity to do some H&I work...going to jails and treatment facilities to carry the message.

Now I say these things because I get the impression that alot of folks here don't experience these things a lot...in my area the folks who carry a solid message are the minority. When I refer to newcomers "whining" its not necessarly a negative thing...I did it in the beginning too...I think we all do this to some extent. When I look back on my early sobriety now...knowing what I know...I can't call it anything else. All that being said I have complete empathy for anyone going through life issues and don't have a problem with someone who is actually working the program sharing these things...there's a difference between these types and the types I shared above. In general I believe that meetings are a place to share the solution...sometimes here we don't hear that...all we here is "whinning"...maybe if I lived in an area where all the AA was good AA I would have a different outlook on this...well probably not but it would be nice to experience :D
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby ezdzit247 » Sun Oct 09, 2016 2:10 pm

Chelle wrote:
Going back to the op..sharing at the meeting. Perhaps I have been doing it wrong, and will take my shares into further consideration after reading how the old timers really seem to feel about these matters. :oops:


I'm an old timer and I totally agree with this other old timer's advice on this issue:

You can't do it wrong Chelle. Keep coming back. Just let those who critique others have their say and let them go. Their problems are not yours.


My ESH on sharing in AA meetings is that if it's a designated beginners's meeting for new comers, most members will generally stick to sharing their own personal experience on drinking and recovery, i.e. "what it was like, what happened and what it's like now". If the meeting is a general discussion meeting, any member can share anything that happens to be on their mind at the time regardless of what that "anything" happens to be. In other words, the rules are there are no rules.

By the Grace of God, I may never have to deal with a drink ever again. But I have to deal with life every day.


This is so true. Everything I know today about dealing with life on life's terms I learned in the rooms of AA meetings by listening to other members honestly sharing their own experience, hope, and strength about their own difficulties in the language of the heart. Those old timers made me feel safe enough to take off my "happy face" mask and get honest with myself and others. They taught me the true meaning of fellowship is sharing and caring.

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby PuppyEars » Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:57 am

In regards to those hijacking a meeting talking about everything except recovery, I heard a different take on this that I would like to share instead of the usual hate spewed by certain circuit speakers that people like to cling to and repeat.

In most cases, these folks don't have a sponsor. They are taking and giving to the meeting what they would be giving and taking from a 1 on 1 sit down. They are not at fault. It's really a cry for help and it should not be a bother to point them in the direction of a sponsor.
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby Brock » Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:52 pm

...instead of the usual hate spewed by certain circuit speakers that people like to cling to and repeat.

Chris R is a speaker that some of us here recommend to new comers, it was him I credit for getting me off my tail and doing the steps. Perhaps it's him or someone like him being referred to above, and also in this a few days ago from the same writer -
So just because I hear this guy on YouTube with an almost celebrity status talking about numbers, figures, low recovery rates, and who gets a little amped up behind a microphone, that makes his word gold?

I have never heard him speak out against those who hijack meetings with personal problems, without also saying in a reasonably kindhearted way that this should be saved for after the meeting. His favorite seems to be Denny's, and he says that's what you talk about there, after the meeting. If anything the chairperson should have the responsibility of informing someone who does this, that after the meeting they will receive advise. In my opinion 'fiery' speakers like him are doing more for AA than any others, maybe the fact that he is booked out years in advance, means that groups all over the world agree.
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby desypete » Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:22 pm

Brock wrote:
...instead of the usual hate spewed by certain circuit speakers that people like to cling to and repeat.

Chris R is a speaker that some of us here recommend to new comers, it was him I credit for getting me off my tail and doing the steps. Perhaps it's him or someone like him being referred to above, and also in this a few days ago from the same writer -
So just because I hear this guy on YouTube with an almost celebrity status talking about numbers, figures, low recovery rates, and who gets a little amped up behind a microphone, that makes his word gold?

I have never heard him speak out against those who hijack meetings with personal problems, without also saying in a reasonably kindhearted way that this should be saved for after the meeting. His favorite seems to be Denny's, and he says that's what you talk about there, after the meeting. If anything the chairperson should have the responsibility of informing someone who does this, that after the meeting they will receive advise. In my opinion 'fiery' speakers like him are doing more for AA than any others, maybe the fact that he is booked out years in advance, means that groups all over the world agree.


the only thing i see from chris r or his sponsor is they speak almost identical, there one moan over and over again is about how other aa meetings are run, there still stuck in there own ism if you ask me, they want it done there way and still yet haven't learned how to live and let live
there is one thing i am so very grateful about over here in the uk and that is we have no celeb aa members i have listened a couple of times to chris r rants on you tube and i can not believe he is some sort of god in the usa
over here he would get a good kick up his back side. but then he knows it only to dam well his only enjoyment seems to be trying to knock aa unless of course its aa the way he dreams it should be

i would urge anyone to never get involved with anyone like the Chris r type of aa member as they will certainly hand there will and there life over but not to a god but to follow the likes of him
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby desypete » Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:42 pm

Chelle wrote:I am quite the sensitive soul, as I take things personally. Whining is a bit harsh of a word. The point of the cat thing was just shared in reference to..I just put my friend down, and I came here immediately because you guys remind me to stay in the solution. That is all. I also shared on another occasion that my niece had killed herself earlier that morning, but also shared how I am dealing with life on life terms. I managed to stay sober through those things.

Going back to the op..sharing at the meeting. Perhaps I have been doing it wrong, and will take my shares into further consideration after reading how the old timers really seem to feel about these matters. :oops:


there is no wrong way to share in aa just open your mouth and be as honest as you can be
the others are there to help and support or at least those who are really working and living a program will be there to help and support
you have to grow a thick skin in aa at times more so with certain types of members who are still stuck in obsession mode, find yourself a good sponsor who doesn't preach, who doesn't oppose anyone nor endorses anything, if you try to talk badly about another memeber they will try to get you to think again or see thngs differently i know i tried to get my sponsor on my side when i would talk about other aa memebers and my sponsor would just smile and not get drawn in
i learned so much and still do from that guy not by his words but how he now acts
his only interest is in being there to help if anyone needs it which is what the program is all about, its about changing the selfish self-centred ego driven drunk, into a caring giving type of person as with that way of living comes real peace in the mind and the heart.

i am still learning but give me time as i have only been around for 11 years and i am still learning and always will be learning but so long as i stick to a few basic things in my day it all seems to work for me

you share as open and as honest as you can be as if it helps you then grab onto it with both hands and good luck to you and keep on coming back
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby Brock » Tue Nov 01, 2016 2:04 pm

i can not believe he is some sort of god in the usa
over here he would get a good kick up his back side. but then he knows it only to dam well.

Come on Pete, no need to exaggerate, nobody treats or thinks of him in that way, a person can be popular without you having to say they are being treated like a God.

And he doesn’t know about the plan for English folks to kick him in the backside, maybe because he keeps getting asked to speak there, listen to his talk at the 2nd Oswaldtwistle (Lancashire) roundup, the way those English were cheering you would think it was the Queen on stage.
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby PuppyEars » Tue Nov 01, 2016 3:20 pm

Hitler drew a crowd too. What's the point here.
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby Brock » Tue Nov 01, 2016 3:29 pm

What's the point here.

To try and give an intelligent response to a discussion, rather than comparing a respected AA speaker with Hitler.
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Nov 01, 2016 4:35 pm

There is nobody else there who talks about spiritual malady, the mental blind spots like Chris. Most of them just talk about the phenomenon of craving. For them thats all there is. Losing control after taking that first drink.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby desypete » Tue Nov 01, 2016 4:37 pm

Brock wrote:
i can not believe he is some sort of god in the usa
over here he would get a good kick up his back side. but then he knows it only to dam well.

Come on Pete, no need to exaggerate, nobody treats or thinks of him in that way, a person can be popular without you having to say they are being treated like a God.

And he doesn’t know about the plan for English folks to kick him in the backside, maybe because he keeps getting asked to speak there, listen to his talk at the 2nd Oswaldtwistle (Lancashire) roundup, the way those English were cheering you would think it was the Queen on stage.


lets put it into a real context Brock
in my area and most of the areas in the uk aa meetings are free and easy going but in every area there are a small number of people who are the obsessed type of aa memeber who hero worship chris r, clancy and people of that ilk who moan on and on about how aa meetings should be like the good old Oxford group days, how the program should be rammed down all new comers throats till it hurts, blah blah blah
they form very small groups have there own meetings which are run by there local guru who keeps everything just the way he demands it to be, the guru sends his converts out to other meetings for the soul purpose of trying to take over meetings armed with there big books and start to preach from the book telling us all we will drink again rubbish

when your chris r comes over here you can be sure he would attract the hundreds of nazi type of aa members but its nothing at all what the real heart of aa is about in this country and it never will be either as there are far to many of us who dont let this type of rubbish mask or parade as aa

so yes he might get a few hundred people excited over here but not the many 10s of thousands who think the guy is just a bad reflection of a dry drunk who wants to control aa and the people in aa to do his will

he loves nothing more than to think he upsets the rest of aa with his rants, its no wonder the cult image hangs around us in aa when we have people like that spouting and preaching

honesty if i went on stage and did the opposite of what he does and attacked the books obsessed, the lords prayer lot, the control meetings gurus i guess i would be a hero worshipping beast as well with a lot more support than chris r would have hope to get
but the fact is no one in aa stands up to him or the rest of the nazi mob as we try to practise the program and live and let live even if we can not stand the sight of some
but the one thing no one can touch is aa thanks to the wisdom of the founders who put in place the traditions which protect aa and its future from the likes of the chris r lot.

now i have to try to love that guy like a brother as its how i should be living my program but in all honesty i would love nothing more than to punch the creep on the nose lol

well i will never be a saint lol but i am working on it :D
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Re: Sharing at meetings

Postby Brock » Wed Nov 02, 2016 4:23 am

honesty if i went on stage and did the opposite of what he does and attacked the books obsessed, the lords prayer lot, the control meetings gurus i guess i would be a hero worshipping beast as well with a lot more support than chris r would have hope to get

Yes I believe you would get a lot of support, but from the very persons who certain speakers use their platform to speak against. Americans, and I suppose the British, have become a society with many people looking for help in facing life's emotional challenges. There are support groups for everything, and when they are not sure where they fit in, they can just say well I do drink a lot so it's AA for me, best of all it's free. Then what happens is the fellow who really needs the help, the one who can't hold his coffee cup in his shaking hand, instead of hearing about the solution to his problem, has to listen to someone moaning about how bad life has been to them.

So if you attack the book(s), tell them never mind the sections where they speak about who the real alcoholic is, where they tell you how to test yourself to see if you are an alcoholic, many will shout yea yea you are an alcoholic if you say you are. Down with people like Chris who use words like 'real alcoholic,' just like the book does.

As far as attacking the “lords prayer lot,” most people in AA bend over backwards to not upset those who don't believe in a God. But then those same nonbelievers are the ones who's message ends up being one of “all kind of shite is happening to me, but thanks to AA I don't need to drink.” I am very sorry if some can't accept or believe, that people like Chris and myself and countless others, have found what the book says on page 25 to be true - “We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.”

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