After some searching:

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Re: After some searching:

Postby Brock » Wed Aug 17, 2016 6:52 am

Paul O, who's story 'Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict,' contains the often quoted section on acceptance, wrote a book called “You Can't Make Me Angry,” supposedly to show that once we are living in the solution we don't get angry.

It's a good theory, but I kind of doubt it's really possible. I read about the best of men Jesus, kicking down moneychangers tables in the synagog, I believe you have to be angry when you kick down tables, (unless your name is Bruce Lee). So I don't see much wrong with a spurt of anger when 'justified,' (which I know is a dangerous word), but for me the test of my fitness in the program comes in how quickly I recover.

What used to be a grudge I might hold for hours or even days after the incident, I now find is relatively easy to brush off in a couple of minutes. The old 'when agitated we pause,' if we fail to pause before we react angrily, we can still do so after, a quick thought about what our higher power might have us do, sets us back on the broad highway.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: After some searching:

Postby Feeya » Wed Aug 17, 2016 7:05 am

Brock wrote:It's a good theory, but I kind of doubt it's really possible. I read about the best of men Jesus, kicking down moneychangers tables in the synagog, I believe you have to be angry when you kick down tables, (unless your name is Bruce Lee). So I don't see much wrong with a spurt of anger when 'justified,' (which I know is a dangerous word), but for me the test of my fitness in the program comes in how quickly I recover.


That is how I see it too. I do believe that every human gets angry at times, but it is about how quickly we recover and, in my opinion, about how we manage our anger.
Talked about that at a meeting last night and you could tell that the only 'raging angry' people there were all newcomers or people that had not worked the 12 steps. Everyone else had a solution on how to deal with anger..
One day at a time.
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Re: After some searching:

Postby Stepchild » Wed Aug 17, 2016 7:23 am

How nicely this fits...

No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
pg 60

If anyone tells you different...I'd take it with a grain of salt.
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Re: After some searching:

Postby kellye » Sun Aug 21, 2016 8:38 pm

Anger is a natural human emotion. I think it is a potentially dangerous one, but one thing for sure: Supression of emotions, including anger, can be very detrimental. Of course, we nearly all feel completely justified in our anger. The trick, I guess, is to try to manage your day in a way that allows you to walk around or away from situations that are sure to fire you up; to try to think before you speak; to prepare ahead for situations you can't avoid; to try to do the right thing, even when no one is looking, so you don't create damage and stress for others.
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Re: After some searching:

Postby Stepchild » Sun Aug 21, 2016 10:07 pm

The trick, I guess, is to try to manage your day in a way that allows you to walk around or away from situations that are sure to fire you up; to try to think before you speak; to prepare ahead for situations you can't avoid; to try to do the right thing, even when no one is looking, so you don't create damage and stress for others.


Not a trick at all...This is explained in detail from the middle of page 84 to page 88. Those 5 pages contain the clear-cut directions for steps 10 and 11. How we live....One day at a time.

It works - it really does.
pg 88
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Re: After some searching:

Postby PuppyEars » Wed Aug 31, 2016 5:06 pm

Going to share how I have been exercising my will power along the line of carrying the vision of God's will into all my activities to cut the legs off my ego. Part of God's will to me, is in the St. Francis prayer:

Hatred
Wrong
Discord
Error
Doubt
Despair
Sadness

are all defects of character that I secretly hold on to at times. I still find some use for them because they are quick, easy and feel good to a sick pup like me. Or as I like to say, these defects are my default position. The price tag for using these is my ego growing back and a host of unwanted emotions. The prayer shows us what we should be trying to apply to these defects and uses the words "by self-forgetting that one finds".
Self-forgetting requires my will power and in turn, action. I can think about forgetting myself all I want but while I'm doing that, the pile of dishes are not getting smaller, weeds don't pull themselves, and the children still need dinner.
So what have I found? That by forgetting how drained I am after work, and making sure household duties are done, I get a smile from my wife instead of a look of disgust at the workload ahead that usually sets a foul tone for the entire night.
That by forgetting since I consider myself one of those real alcoholics and had a sense of entitlement to dismiss others that I think are not, it opened me up to being tolerant and accepting towards those that don't walk the same path that I have to and not degrade their success.
That by forgetting how I think things should be done at the job, I remember I am no longer in management - this place is in business for a reason and it has nothing to do with my executive decisions. Ever see one of the horses IN the carriage? I am on the front lines which is exactly where I belong.

I have swept this prayer under the carpet because it knocks me out of the way and I don't like that
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Re: After some searching:

Postby PaigeB » Wed Aug 31, 2016 11:49 pm

Thanks for sharing this! I often try to cheer myself with the good action words in the St. Francis Prayer. And now as I am working 7 & 8, I see that I can add some to my list ~ AND in a tidy little prayer that I already know! :wink:
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Re: After some searching:

Postby Spirit Flower » Thu Sep 01, 2016 4:43 am

Thanks Pup. Interesting meditation.
...a score card reading zero...
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Re: After some searching:

Postby PuppyEars » Tue Sep 13, 2016 6:26 pm

and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it
The alcoholic's mind hates being wrong so much, that it can twist this direction in step 10 into:

And when we were bad, promptly admitted it.

This is a major ego deflation technique -step 10 when properly applied. I can tell you that you are right all day long but for the words "I was wrong" to come out of my face before some shot at justification, usually comes with hesitation or not at all.
It doesn't say when I was wrong for burning your house to the ground with my terrible cooking, to promptly admit it. Doesn't say when I was wrong for cursing my boss out...
The word wrong in 10 is all encompassing and very roomy.
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Re: After some searching:

Postby PaigeB » Wed Sep 14, 2016 11:00 am

The word wrong in 10 is all encompassing and very roomy

:lol: Don't make me get out the dictionary and go all "it says in the book" on ya! :mrgreen:

Thanks for this though. "Rationalization and Justification" is my middle name. In my teen years my Daddy called me "Queen of the Alibi" and in my adult years, friends actually called me when they needed a viable story. Oh and I went to school to work for lawyers, so I got to play with words all my life.

The broad and roomy "wrong" reaches into my very innermost self... the place where I "presently identify with my own conception of a Power Greater than." There, in the Light of the Absolute Truth, definitions of words fall away and all that Is, and all that matters is Love. If there is a shadow there, I need to find out what is dimming the Light.

It is my experience & I beg of ya'll not to go Freudian on me here, LOL.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: After some searching:

Postby ezdzit247 » Wed Sep 14, 2016 11:46 am

PaigeB wrote:
The word wrong in 10 is all encompassing and very roomy

:lol: Don't make me get out the dictionary and go all "it says in the book" on ya! :mrgreen:

Thanks for this though. "Rationalization and Justification" is my middle name. In my teen years my Daddy called me "Queen of the Alibi" and in my adult years, friends actually called me when they needed a viable story. Oh and I went to school to work for lawyers, so I got to play with words all my life.

The broad and roomy "wrong" reaches into my very innermost self... the place where I "presently identify with my own conception of a Power Greater than." There, in the Light of the Absolute Truth, definitions of words fall away and all that Is, and all that matters is Love. If there is a shadow there, I need to find out what is dimming the Light.

It is my experience & I beg of ya'll not to go Freudian on me here, LOL.


:lol: .... Well said! You're kind of on fire today with your posts. I like it!
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Re: After some searching:

Postby clouds » Wed Sep 14, 2016 12:23 pm

Yes, I'll take that message home!
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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