Feeling good

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Feeling good

Postby Star001 » Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:40 pm

When thrown in to the same situations I have to find a new normal. Today I thought how fabulous it would be to open a bottle of my favorite red. I'm not really craving alcohol and don't fee like I need it. This is just my habit, what I would normally do. Sit outside, listen to the ocean, enjoy my wine. I thought how if I opened it after the kids went to bed nobody would even know. I thought about buying a bottle and then deciding if I should drink it or not. Instead of reaching out to my sponsor, I told myself I would about it. I thought about how crappy I would feel and how if I want to be honest I have to be honest with myself. I never bought the wine. When evening rolled around I found that I was too busy to even think about it anyway, and now I am content with myself and instead of feeing sneaky, I'm feeling proud. :D
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Re: Feeling good

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Aug 01, 2016 3:20 am

This is a selfish, self-centered disease. Its all about our wants. The process helps us become helpless. At certain phase of my drinking career, Friday was my "drinking day". Nobody can sway me into doing something else. When other families were out on Fridays doing something entertaining, I had my family hostage. Then it slowly spread like a virus back to other days. Then after the psychic change working the 12 steps, I am no longer bound by alcohol and other isms. We become selfless. The obsession goes away. You are progressing in the right direction. Keep moving.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Feeling good

Postby Larryp713 » Mon Aug 01, 2016 8:11 am

You really described well how I process those thoughts of drinking today, thanks to this program. For so long, my mind associated drinking with that first time I had a buzz and all my problems seemed to vanish. After working these steps, especially the first step, I have a different association. I know that I cannot have a couple of drinks and enjoy the ocean, or the ball game, or the house work, without the certain consequences that come with it. I know with a certainty that the first drink will turn on the obsessive thoughts. It is just as expected as the buzz. And that is what I never want to deal with again.

The rest of my program is about dealing with why I want that drink. I drink for the effect, the effect is a chemical escape from my troubles or a cure for boredom. What is stressing me or why am I so bored? When I ask these questions and ponder where I am at that moment, I find that there are things I am not doing that I should be doing, or my attitude has transitioned from gratitude to entitlement. My level of spiritual fitness has dipped and I need to take action.

I used to get mad at myself when I was dry and had urges to drink. That is an absurd attitude. I am an alcoholic and the thought of drinking will always have some appeal. Today, those urges are a reminder from my higher power that I cannot rest on my laurels. I need to working so I can keep this precious gift. Thanks for sharing - Larry
Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny!!!
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Re: Feeling good

Postby ezdzit247 » Mon Aug 01, 2016 9:21 am

Star001 wrote:When thrown in to the same situations I have to find a new normal. Today I thought how fabulous it would be to open a bottle of my favorite red. I'm not really craving alcohol and don't fee like I need it. This is just my habit, what I would normally do. Sit outside, listen to the ocean, enjoy my wine. I thought how if I opened it after the kids went to bed nobody would even know. I thought about buying a bottle and then deciding if I should drink it or not. Instead of reaching out to my sponsor, I told myself I would about it. I thought about how crappy I would feel and how if I want to be honest I have to be honest with myself. I never bought the wine. When evening rolled around I found that I was too busy to even think about it anyway, and now I am content with myself and instead of feeing sneaky, I'm feeling proud. :D


Thanks for your share, Star.

I identify..... :D
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Feeling good

Postby Mike O » Tue Aug 02, 2016 10:27 am

Star001 wrote:When thrown in to the same situations I have to find a new normal. Today I thought how fabulous it would be to open a bottle of my favorite red. I'm not really craving alcohol and don't fee like I need it. This is just my habit, what I would normally do. Sit outside, listen to the ocean, enjoy my wine. I thought how if I opened it after the kids went to bed nobody would even know. I thought about buying a bottle and then deciding if I should drink it or not. Instead of reaching out to my sponsor, I told myself I would about it. I thought about how crappy I would feel and how if I want to be honest I have to be honest with myself. I never bought the wine. When evening rolled around I found that I was too busy to even think about it anyway, and now I am content with myself and instead of feeing sneaky, I'm feeling proud. :D



Well done.
Thanks for sharing :)
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Re: Feeling good

Postby Duke » Tue Aug 02, 2016 3:23 pm

Thanks for your share Star. You really captured how the ability to choose has been restored to you. Well done.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: Feeling good

Postby kdub720 » Wed Aug 03, 2016 11:31 am

I love this post.
The choice to buy or open a bottle and to what end. We know the right choice and we have all made it, but why is that thought there? The bottle makes it better? that is crazy. Why, knowing we have a problem/desiese, knowing the right choice and still mulling over the options.
Larry I loved the part about how you know what to do, yet the drink is still an attractive option. I am the same way. I know what is right, yet it still sits there "like hey this would be fun." All part of the battle. Thanks again, great post.
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Re: Feeling good

Postby Lali » Wed Aug 03, 2016 8:14 pm

For anyone for whom drinking is "an attractive option", they need to go back to step one because they didn't get it right.
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Re: Feeling good

Postby BrianC8 » Thu Aug 11, 2016 7:42 am

Drinking alcohol is certainly a habit as well as an addiction, and habits are hard to break. Especially when the triggers are right in front of you.
The AA slogan "Remember When" comes to mind. I never could understand why, when the urge to take a drink came upon me, I was unable to remember the last time and the consequences.
That's one reason I firmly believe that frquent attendance at meetings is important, especially when you are new. The stories and experiences others share helped to stiffen my resolve for another day.
I used to tell myself I was taking a drink to get "feeling good". I'm happy to hear you feeling good by staying sober.

Brian C
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