One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

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One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby leng12 » Wed Jul 20, 2016 9:05 am

Hi.

Got my One Year Chip last week. It was a complete anti-climax. Stayed in bed 24 hours with a deep sadness. This wasn't my plan last July thinking about hitting one year!

I'm over it now and taking stock. Not making progress on Step Four and still not identifying with page 62. I have a HP in my life and I pray & meditate everyday. I know I can never drink again and plan to see a professional to deal with the underlying reasons for my drinking. I'm still attending meetings as I have commitments I don't want to let down. I think I've conditioned myself into going to regular meetings!

Just can't help being curious if I really need the rooms.
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby Sleddog75 » Wed Jul 20, 2016 9:44 am

pages 61 and 62 sum up our selfishness. Here's where I think a lot of people fall short on this hurdle. Selfishness, self-centered that is our the root of our problems....we arrange the play, become the director...etc...I get that too. The most important page in the bigbook is on page 63. At the top it starts with the step 3 promises..."established on such a footing..." I didn't do steps 3-12 for myself. I did it for the Creator. I didn't do any of this for my sponsor, or for me, or for anyone...I did the action steps for God. And it worked. pages 61-62 tell me how selfish I was/am...and then people do the action steps for themselves...top of page 63, have faith that if you follow this path you will be taken care of...next part is the 3rd step prayer....first six words in the prayer as so important. It's an oath. I will do this and believe that you will take care of me while I do them. Do your step 4 for god. the last part states that it's better to meet god alone than with someone who might misunderstand....61-62 I get it...but 63 is where the miracle is described. Faith. Step 3 is my faith. my Oath. My decision to the rest of the steps for God, not for any human. Just my thoughts


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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby Layne » Wed Jul 20, 2016 10:16 am

The only thing I need to do is to breath. After that it comes down to choices. Honestly inventorying the motives, with the aid of my higher power, behind my proposed choices is extremely important to my continued sobriety.

I don't go to set number of meetings and my attendance can be very sporadic at times. I just know that at those time when I start to think about whether I need meetings or not, I need to do an honest inventory with my higher power. Those usually bear out to be the times, a meeting is a good choice for this alcoholic. They are also the times that my higher power has probably been trying to get my attention.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out the why behind my drinking. So much time that it interfered with me working the program and I kept relapsing as a result. When I finally focused on working the twelve steps (and actually did it), the answers came to me.
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby Mike O » Wed Jul 20, 2016 10:17 am

Hey, a year's pretty good going, friend.
:)

I'm wondering why you are still at step 4, a year on, though? Any particular reason.

My own experience was that I took this step pretty lightly for the first few months and was never totally happy. My life changed when I did it properly and thoroughly, immediately followed by the rest of the programme.
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby Jaywalker Steve » Wed Jul 20, 2016 10:19 am

Things really changed for me when I started thinking about what I can give back to AA and those who still suffer.
Every group has men and women who put too much thought and effort into their daily sobriety and not enough of themselves into their daily living. - Ed B., Akron, OH
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby PaigeB » Wed Jul 20, 2016 10:53 am

"Every AA meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we ..." pg 33 of 12 & 12

"For by this time sanity will have returned... We react sanely and normally... That is how we react so ling as we keep in fit spiritual condition." pg 84-85 BB

Here are some fun acronyms for what the ISM stands for...
Incredibly short memory
I sponsor myself
I sabotage myself
It's still me
Internal spiritual malady
and
I skipped meetings

I don't know exactly what part of my program is the key to my sobriety, but I am not going to start eliminating things to find out... it is too risky. This really IS life or death. We have a daily reprieve and reprieve means - Stay of Execution.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby ezdzit247 » Wed Jul 20, 2016 11:34 am

Hi leng12

Congratulations on one year of sobriety! That's wonderful.

Maybe you don't need the rooms. I did, still do, but that's me and what I've found works best for me.

I really relate to what was posted here:

I didn't do steps 3-12 for myself. I did it for the Creator. I didn't do any of this for my sponsor, or for me, or for anyone...I did the action steps for God. And it worked.


And this post too:

"Every AA meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we ..." pg 33 of 12 & 12

"For by this time sanity will have returned... We react sanely and normally... That is how we react so ling as we keep in fit spiritual condition." pg 84-85 BB

Here are some fun acronyms for what the ISM stands for...
Incredibly short memory
I sponsor myself
I sabotage myself
It's still me
Internal spiritual malady
and
I skipped meetings

I don't know exactly what part of my program is the key to my sobriety, but I am not going to start eliminating things to find out... it is too risky. This really IS life or death. We have a daily reprieve and reprieve means - Stay of Execution.


I keep trudging the Road of Happy Destiny and "keep coming back" to keep learning and growing, one day at a time. That's what works for me.
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Jul 20, 2016 11:42 am

Just can't help being curious if I really need the rooms.


Yeh, recovery is your responsibility. Try being away from the rooms. If you are good, you don't have to come back. How else you going to know!
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby Brock » Wed Jul 20, 2016 12:03 pm

Not making progress on Step Four and still not identifying with page 62.

Fair enough, I believe that's why it contains these words -
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so.

When we work on the remaining steps, which as others have said, you seem to be 'balking' at, we come to understand and see things in ourselves we didn't see before. Steps 4 & 5 appear so intimidating on paper, please believe they are much easier than they look, and most find a great relief after doing them.
Got my One Year Chip last week. It was a complete anti-climax.

I have seen this sort of thing happen, both to myself and others. As a result I don't even congratulate others here, when they put their anniversary up, and I hope they don't think I am impolite for not doing so. My opinion is that when we recover we live a new most excellent life, we don't stay sober one day at a time as some folks like to say, so putting any emphasis on 365 or any other amount of days is a retrograde step, stop counting and start living.

I believe that meetings are more or less optional when the work is done, and you are living in the solution. You have a spiritual awaking, the urge is gone, you maintain that spirituality and expand on it by practicing 10 & 11, you are safe and protected. I go to meetings a couple of times a week because I have come to enjoy them, and it's an outlet to practice that part of #12 which has to do with carrying the message, there is no doubt in my mind however that there are other ways of carrying the message. Please push forward with those steps, and best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby 4thDimension » Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:49 pm

Congrats on a year - that's wonderful.

The reason to keep going to meetings is that the problem centers in our mind. I've got issues with forgetting certain pieces of information like - I can't have just one. I can't tolerate any.

People at meetings remind me that I need to work the steps, be honest, read the Big Book, read the 12 x 12, read the 24 hour book, pray, meditate, call another alcoholic, get a service commitment, stay in the middle of the boat, chair a meeting, help another alcoholic, do an inventory before bed, read pages 86-88 daily, be grateful, sponsor a newcomer, and a few other things...

Meetings are where I reaffirm that I'm not alone, got some good friends there.

And the coffee's always pretty good.
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby Noels » Wed Jul 20, 2016 11:15 pm

Hi Leng :D

Got my One Year Chip last week. It was a complete anti-climax. Stayed in bed 24 hours with a deep sadness. This wasn't my plan last July thinking about hitting one year!


congratulations :D 12 months is a huge achievement. What happened or did not happen that filled you with such sadness?

Love and light
Noels xxx
There is only Love
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby Db1105 » Thu Jul 21, 2016 8:33 am

Congratulations on your year! I found that 12 Step recovery programs work much better when I work all 12 Steps.
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby PuppyEars » Thu Jul 21, 2016 8:59 am

Sounds like you are looking for a new experience.
Start going to meetings with a different perspective.
What do I have to offer this meeting?
How can I make it better?
Can I see this place with sponsors eyes?
What does this place look like from above?
Am I giving my number to new people?
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby Larryp713 » Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:23 am

Time to plug in. Whenever I hit lows in my recovery, I always find that I can do more to work with other alcoholics and to carry the message. When I take action, my attitude and outlook dramatically improve. I will quit my active program of recovery if I ever find a substitute that motivates me to take positive action and grow closer to my higher power. Until then, AA is a vital part of my life. Without it, I would not have a life. God help me if I ever forget to be grateful.
Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny!!!
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Re: One Year Sober. Do I need the rooms?

Postby Roberth » Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:23 am

Hello leng12. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. Do you still need meetings after a year. I don’t have a clue what someone else needs….but here are three questions.
1. Am I better off than I was a year ago?
2. Am I willing to give up what got me to this point?
3. Then is it time to stop taking and start giving?
My answers to these are
1. Yes I am, every year for the last 24 has been better than the than the one before it. Even when I don’t think thing have changed much my annual 30 day of gratitude list I do every November shows me the progress I have made.
2. No. even after 24 year I will not stop doing what has given so much and brought me so far.
3. It was time to start given as soon as I was grateful for the gift I have received. I no long go to meeting to see what I can get out of them , I go to see what I can bring to them and sometimes it's just sitting quietly.
These are just food for thought. Answer them, don’t answer them, like everything else in AA it’s your choice
Robert
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