How do you do this?

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How do you do this?

Postby AA_chatter » Sun Jul 03, 2016 2:11 pm

I just want to be sober. I have tried so many times. I just don't know a life without alcohol.
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Jul 03, 2016 2:33 pm

I have tried so many times.


Welcome aboard. Can you please elaborate on this? Did you really work the 12 steps with someone who has already walked through the steps?
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby AA_chatter » Sun Jul 03, 2016 2:36 pm

No I have not
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Jul 03, 2016 2:40 pm

Recovery is not just going to many meetings. Meetings are just a part of it. I would suggest finding a good compatible sponsor who could help you understand the "peculiar mental twist" that precedes every spree. The mind comes up with nice choices. Every time it tricks you into taking that first drink. Thats what we are to overcome. We get restored to sanity as we work the steps and live this way of life. Constantly watching for selfish self-centered conduct.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby Brock » Sun Jul 03, 2016 3:19 pm

I remember from when you were first here in January, you said you live in a fairly small community and were afraid of meetings, and the danger of being recognized by others there. The one good thing about saying you have tried so many times, is that it makes it easier to accept the first and very important step, that you don't have the power to stop, then #2 that you need a power greater than yourself, seems pretty obvious.

While there are cases of people living in places with no meetings, who had no choice but to go it alone, and successfully did the AA program, it just would be far more difficult. Without exception every person I have seen come here, and say they are afraid of meetings for a variety of reasons, have reported after their first meeting that their fears were completely unfounded. Any person you see there is there for the same reason you will be, which is part of what makes it work so well, it's just a group of friendly folks and no pressure is put on anyone, we come or go as we like. You really should give it a try, honestly one day you will laugh about this, the obsession and urge to drink will be gone, and you will probably be the one telling someone else they have nothing to fear in attending a meeting, best of luck to you.
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby ezdzit247 » Sun Jul 03, 2016 3:26 pm

AA_chatter wrote:I just want to be sober. I have tried so many times. I just don't know a life without alcohol.


Hi AA_chatter

Welcome to e-aa. So glad you found this forum and decided to reach out for help.

AA has a pamphlet entitled "This is AA - An introduction to the AA recovery program". It is specifically written for men and women who want to be sober and are searching for a way to do that. You can read it online by clicking on this link:

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-1_thisisaa1.pdf.

Here's an excerpt from the pamphlet on AA's 24 hour plan:

"For example, we take no pledges, we don’t say that we will “never” drink again. Instead, we try to follow what we in A.A. call the “24-hour plan.” We concentrate on keeping sober just the current twenty-four hours. We simply try to get through one day at a time without a drink. If we feel the urge for a drink, we neither yield nor resist. We merely put off taking that particular drink until tomorrow…."

I wanted to quit drinking but tried and failed so many many times before I finally found AA's simple 24 hour plan and made the decision to give it a try. It worked for me, has worked for millions of other alcoholics over the years, and if you're ready to give it a try, it can work for you too.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

Keep coming back.....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby 4thDimension » Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:16 pm

I could never stay sober until I surrendered. I gave up the fight to try and beat alcohol - it won.

So I realized that I couldn't drink, but that I WOULD drink (my history documented that). I was between a rock and a hard place. Did I want to lose EVERYTHING, including my life?

No! I got to work on the steps, and working the steps made all the difference.

The steps are the program. Meetings are the fellowship. My experience says to get / stay sober, one has to work all the steps, and attend meetings (and do most everything people talk about doing at meetings).

I got sober in 1985 after more than 6 years of trying. It continues to work for me, and it will work for you too, AA_chatter!
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby Mike O » Tue Jul 05, 2016 10:16 am

You've come to the right buncha people here, AA_chatter. Welcome.
:D
Already good advice. You can get a copy of the Big Book online. You can read immediately about what alcoholism is. You can immediately begin to get to work on the programme that saved us, the 12 Steps. You can immediately begin to read other folks' stories and realise that this has happened to others and they've survived it to live happily.
Go to meetings too, if you wish. But, get to work on the steps.

Go on...go get it...get to work.
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby kdub720 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 11:19 am

Great topic today,
I have found that it is all about that choice to drink and making that mental victory when choosing not to. For me the world opens up with so many opportunities the longer I make that choice not to drink. With going to meetings in a small town, I walked in to a local AA meeting stressed out about seeing someone I knew. I turned the corner and entered the room and saw my boss, my heart stopped as she jumped out of her chair gave me a giant hug and said she is so glad to see me there. We all struggle and need help, the community here and those who are in the battle around you are always there. Good advice to today from all who wrote. thank you
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 12:31 pm

kdub720 wrote:Great topic today,
I have found that it is all about that choice to drink and making that mental victory when choosing not to. For me the world opens up with so many opportunities the longer I make that choice not to drink. With going to meetings in a small town, I walked in to a local AA meeting stressed out about seeing someone I knew. I turned the corner and entered the room and saw my boss, my heart stopped as she jumped out of her chair gave me a giant hug and said she is so glad to see me there. We all struggle and need help, the community here and those who are in the battle around you are always there. Good advice to today from all who wrote. thank you


What a great story! Thank you for sharing it and your ESH.
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby Lali » Tue Jul 05, 2016 7:53 pm

AA_chatter wrote:I have tried so many times.


So what are you going to do differently this time?
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby PaigeB » Wed Jul 06, 2016 10:16 am

Lali wrote:
AA_chatter wrote:I have tried so many times.


So what are you going to do differently this time?

When they asked me that - I had been in, then out for 17 years with only a few attempts to quit - I listened to my gut and I answered, "I need to get a real sponsor and do the Steps this time".

In the Steps I found true, lasting recovery, even if it was against my wishes lol. Working the Steps brought change and they told me, it might not get better, but it will get different. They were right.

I also went to a lot of meetings and I still go to 3 or 4 a week. It is what I like to do and it helps me. I hear it helps others too, when I share the solution. I may never know how much, but they shared with me when I came. And even though I didn't think I had much, once I had a week or so off the booze it was time for me to give back what was so freely given to me. I could share what worked for me to not drink today and then my experience of what I learned as I went through the book with my sponsor and how that helped me change. Meetings are an important part of my recovery too.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby Alcoholic_Nurse » Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:52 pm

WELCOME!! i tried aa a few times before i became successful. what worked for me was a treatment center that used the 12-steps coupled with indepth group therapy. finding an aa meeting where i feel at peace is hugely important. i say "at peace" because personal growth required me to step out of my comfort zone. the key to my surrender was realizing the way that i was doing things to try to achieve sobriety was ineffective and i needed to do the program as prescribed, especially the parts i wasn't fond of.

after 2 1/2 years of sobriety i know my faults, i continue to learn new faults within myself, and now i have complete peace in taking responsibility for my actions and preventing myself from reacting irrationally in confrontational situations.

life with alcohol was familiar and didn't require me to change, i became a spectator to my own destruction. life without alcohol is serene, i can handle the aspects of change that i am required to handle, and i am a participant in my own growth. this was so freely given to me, and i give back to keep myself in serenity.

AA is free of co$t and plentiful; you deserve a peaceful life.
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby Larryp713 » Mon Jul 18, 2016 9:02 am

I was told early on that this is not a program for people who want to be sober, and it isn't even a program for people who need to get sober. It is a program for people who take action. I had to start with a complete willingness to try anything suggested because my best thinking had failed me.
The first thing I was told was to go to at least 90 meetings in the first 90 days, get a sponsor, and call that sponsor and start working the steps. I didn't know why that would work better than any of my previous attempts, but I do know today that when I did those things, I finally recovered from my own helpless state of mind and body.
All my previous steps were not wasted, though they availed me nothing. Those past experiences are a critical part of my first step and the foundation of my recovery. Today, I cannot tell myself I don't need AA or this program of recovery. I know it works, and I know I need to continue to take action as it has been shown to me.
I wish you all the best... Larry
Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny!!!
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Re: How do you do this?

Postby Noels » Tue Jul 19, 2016 6:43 am

to go to at least 90 meetings in the first 90 days

I thought about this saying and for a daily drinker it actually makes sense for the simple reason - the more meetings you go to, the less drinking time there'll be so for someone who drank lets say every night, replacing that drink with a meeting instead is actually a good thing.
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