Perfectionism...its an illusion!

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Perfectionism...its an illusion!

Postby Patsy© » Fri Jun 17, 2016 2:03 am

I remember clear as a bell, what it was like when my sponsor shared with me that trying to be perfect is an illusion, its a delusion that I create myself. Perfectionism is always about my feeling "less then"...Spammer my insides to others outsides. Trying to be perfect is proof positive that I am feeling simply not good enough, and when I believe that I am not good enough, then neither is anyone or anything else. Living my life trying to be perfect, was the setting of a goal that is absolutely unattainable, its not reality and when I refuse to acknowledge the truth, and I continue to demand the impossible from myself or from others, then I get stuck in that All or Nothing thinking that never fails to set me up every single time.... for the fall.

One of the first things to disappear with that All or Nothing thinking, is REALITY. Whenever I chased the illusion of being perfect, it was my very own Emotional Balance that I completely forfeited. When I am living in my own head, reaching for the delusion of being perfect, then that becomes my biggest justification to judge myself and others as inadequate, and its me who gets to live in a state of being anxious, irritable and discontent,..... feeling "less than".

In my experience, its that very perfectionism that rears its ugly head whenever I become uncomfortable in my own skin, and when I am uncomfortable in my own skin, there is nothing that is off the table when it comes to judging unmerciful my own and others "humanness".
Being human by its very nature means that in Reality, I will make mistakes, that I will never be perfect, because I am not God.
God created me just the way I am, and He created others just the way they are.
Today, I thank God that I am a human BEING...... not a human DOING.

One part of this alkies journey through those wonderful 12 Steps was the painful realization that my sponsor was correct, that there is no such thing as "Perfect", and that it was my illusion, I own it, and the only ones who could do anything about my illusion was God and me. That it was ok to stop beating myself and others now, that it was ok to let go of the illusion/delusion of perfectionism, and to Trust God that it is ok to BE who I am, accepting I am correct for me, and to Trust God that it is ok to BE who you are, accepting that you are correct for you.
When we can honor anothers life independent of our own opinion, and when we can honor our own life independent of the good opinion of others.

Not needing the approval of others to be who I am.....

Be Still And Know That I am God.

Am I perfect at this? Absolutely not, and what a precious gift that is, because today with the help of God, AA and all of you people..…. I don't have to be! :D
Failed 12 Step Call? Not if we walk away sober!
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Patsy©
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Re: Perfectionism...its an illusion!

Postby Feeya » Fri Jun 17, 2016 2:38 am

Thank you Patsy!
One day at a time.
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Re: Perfectionism...its an illusion!

Postby Patsy© » Fri Jun 17, 2016 3:22 am

You are so very welcome Feeya :D
Failed 12 Step Call? Not if we walk away sober!
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