I'm really nervous

For recovery discussion

I'm really nervous

Postby tiffanyj16 » Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:38 pm

Hello! This is my first post. I am here because I've been sitting in my room trying to come up with a plan for the meeting I was asked to speak at on the 14th. I pray I'm not ruffling feathers, I just know its better to go right to the source. I did my steps out of the A.A. book, I take my sponsees through the steps out of the A.A. book. I attend A.A. meetings, as I feel there is so much wisdom in those rooms and I get so much incredible advice. I was a drunk, a terrible one. I didn't know when to stop. I would drink in excess. If I took the first sip, the night would end with me passed out covered in my own urine half naked. I could go on and on. However, what ultimately led to my rock bottom, what got me incarcerated and to where I am now, the majority of my personal story, revolves around drug use. I identify as an alcoholic, but I'm at a loss about how to share my story, without speaking about the horrible things that led to my sobriety. Its been suggested to "replace my drug use with alcohol" when speaking, but it feels like I'm lying, and apart from that, I know people in AA would see right through it. I know I should focus on the disease itself, but its hard to get to the here and now without speaking about my drug use. Does anyone have advice on how I can tastefully share my story? I don't want to offend anyone, and am afraid to look foolish by overexaggerating some parts, and downplaying others. Please help, I don't know who else to ask.
tiffanyj16
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:22 pm

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby D'oh » Sun Jun 05, 2016 7:20 pm

Hi Tiffany.

I think that you will be a great speaker, just don't sweat it. The one that knows your storey the best is you.

1 of the things that I look at, "This Road of Happy Destiney" Well it has a beginning, a Gate, which was locked by Self Will, the gift of AA has unlocked the gate for us. The road on the other side of the Gate has many of the same twists and turns, hills and ditches. But we are able to see the beauty of the journey, when we are not arranging the destination to meet our expectations. Leave the Itinerary to our Higher Power, and enjoy the views and scenery.

We would have never have reached the Gate if it wasn't for the beginning of the Road.
D'oh
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 721
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 10:51 am

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby Barbara D. » Mon Jun 06, 2016 9:24 am

I remember there being 3 "speeches" whenever I shared my story: the one I thought I was going to tell, the one I did share, and the one I thought I should have told. :lol: It was always a lesson in not being in charge for me!

NA is an important part of my story, although alcohol was my only drug. Back in the 1980's, I got sober in AA but also went to NA some 4 or 5 years later to hear more about addiction. AA did not want to hear about drugs other than alcohol in my area at that time, and we recognized alcoholISM, not addiction. So I mentioned NA in general if something was on my mind but only went into AA details when I shared in a group setting, or at least that was my intention. I could say a lot more 1 on 1.

Now, there is more tolerance in my area. But AA is still geared to a specific drug, alcohol. So I respect and honor the suggestions of the parent organization which spawned all the other addiction organizations.

Alcoholic, Barbara D. Happy Monday!
User avatar
Barbara D.
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 203
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:21 am
Location: Tennessee, USA

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby Noels » Mon Jun 06, 2016 10:07 am

Hi Tiffany :D personally I believe that anything that was part of your destruction that finally led you to the doors of AA where you became sober and whole is relevant. Especially if the 12 step program of AA helped you to stop drug usage as well. But perhaps mention that specifically in your share :?:
You are going to find many different views and opinions from the members on this site and also in the rooms so I would say just follow your own heart on this one. Unfortunately even when we go out of our way to satisfy every one there will still be that 1 person who will be unhappy. Make sure that person is not you. It is your sobriety story. Your celebration and your thanksgiving. There will always be that one person there who needs to hear your story. Exactly as it happened. Your story may save one life and that is good enough.
Well done, keep moving forward and let us know how it went.
Love and light
Noels
There is only Love
Noels
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1247
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 6:14 am

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby Roberth » Mon Jun 06, 2016 11:37 am

Hello Tiffany, and welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. my favorite speaker gives the best advice on speaking. Just tell them your name and tell them the truth Patty O tells people..... it seems to go better when I take a moment at the podium to clear my head and just be me. I stopped thinking about what to say when I was never as good as I was in the shower earlier....LOL
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
User avatar
Roberth
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:53 pm
Location: In The High Desert of California

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby tiffanyj16 » Mon Jun 06, 2016 12:14 pm

I don't know how to respond individually, but I want to personally thank each of you for the encouragement and advice. I truly got something from each of you, that I will use going into this meeting. The gate of self will was helpful beyond words, and hearing about 3 versions of the story is so true. Thank you all for being there for me, I feel better already!!!
tiffanyj16
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:22 pm

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby Brock » Mon Jun 06, 2016 12:31 pm

I was a drunk, a terrible one. I didn't know when to stop. I would drink in excess. If I took the first sip, the night would end with me passed out covered in my own urine half naked. I could go on and on.

Hello and welcome. I think I might do as you say and go on and on a little with that, and just for a short while near the end say that drinking led to drugs and a very low time in your life, prison or whatever.

I say short while near the end, the end of what eventually made you reach out to AA, but of talks like this I have heard, the ones that seemed to go over best, only the first third of the time, at the most, was used on how the person got to AA. It is really nice to hear about the fine folks you met, the steps you found a little more challenging, the joys of helping others do it, and then the life you have now, most important. I am sure it will go well, best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
User avatar
Brock
Forums Coordinator
 
Posts: 3169
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby ezdzit247 » Mon Jun 06, 2016 12:36 pm

tiffanyj16 wrote:Hello!.... Its been suggested to "replace my drug use with alcohol" when speaking, but it feels like I'm lying....


Yeah, I would feel like I was lying too. I would suggest you listen to your gut feelings, check with your higher power and share your story honestly. There's generally a newcomer in the room who really needs to hear what it was like, what happened and what it's like now for you and, in AA, the newcomer is always the most important person in the room. Let us know how it goes, okay?

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
User avatar
ezdzit247
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 2077
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 4:38 pm
Location: California

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby Patsy© » Mon Jun 06, 2016 2:17 pm

Brock wrote:
I was a drunk, a terrible one. I didn't know when to stop. I would drink in excess. If I took the first sip, the night would end with me passed out covered in my own urine half naked. I could go on and on.

Hello and welcome. I think I might do as you say and go on and on a little with that, and just for a short while near the end say that drinking led to drugs and a very low time in your life, prison or whatever.

I say short while near the end, the end of what eventually made you reach out to AA, but of talks like this I have heard, the ones that seemed to go over best, only the first third of the time, at the most, was used on how the person got to AA. It is really nice to hear about the fine folks you met, the steps you found a little more challenging, the joys of helping others do it, and then the life you have now, most important. I am sure it will go well, best of luck.


Hi Tiffany,

I would suggest that what Brock posted to you, stays within the AA Traditions and is Respectful to Alcoholics Anonymous. AA saved my life and I would never disrespect that wonderful 12 Step Program.

You will do great Tiffany! Here is something that I do each and every time I get up to speak from the podium at an AA meeting, I ask God to please let the words and the actions be His.... Amen! Its never failed me yet :)
Failed 12 Step Call? Not if we walk away sober!
User avatar
Patsy©
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 476
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 5:04 pm
Location: Boston, MA

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby tiffanyj16 » Mon Jun 06, 2016 8:35 pm

I wish I knew how to thank each of you individually. Your honest feedback has been invaluable to me. I came here not knowing where to start, and I feel like you all have given me a lot of tools to use. I will pray that God speaks through me, I will vaguely skim over the drug bit, and try to focus most of what I say on the wonderful blessings I've received since entering this program. You all are so wonderful to take the time to help me. Thank you!
tiffanyj16
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:22 pm

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby Larryp713 » Tue Jun 07, 2016 7:54 am

Good luck, Tiffany, and thank you for your willingness to share your message. We have a lady celebrating ten years this week who will be sharing her story. I heard it before, and drugs are a huge part of her path. She turned to alcohol to quit drugs, and that is how she ended up in AA.

I have the disease of more... I could become addicted to anything that will bypass my emotions and allow me to deal with situations I can't handle. In fact, if they ever came up with a pill to cure alcoholism, I would probably take two or three. Share your story, and if somebody tells you they're offended after, apologize and tell them that was not your intent. But I bet you will reach a lot more people when you share your story. Good luck! Larry
Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny!!!
Larryp713
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 220
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:52 am
Location: Olathe, KS

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby Lali » Tue Jun 07, 2016 12:26 pm

Larryp713 wrote:Share your story, and if somebody tells you they're offended after, apologize and tell them that was not your intent. Larry


I have a lot of respect for you and your opinions, Larry, and I enjoy reading your posts. But as the former "speaker seeker" for my home group for over 2 years, I can say that this approach would not have worked for my group. Many of the speakers I obtained did have drugs in their stories, but they would only mention this and then move on to the rest of their story, not dwelling on the subject of drugs. I chose speakers carefully, keeping in mind the Traditions.
Lali
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 4869
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:13 am

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby Patsy© » Tue Jun 07, 2016 2:49 pm

Lali wrote:
Larryp713 wrote:Share your story, and if somebody tells you they're offended after, apologize and tell them that was not your intent. Larry


I have a lot of respect for you and your opinions, Larry, and I enjoy reading your posts. But as the former "speaker seeker" for my home group for over 2 years, I can say that this approach would not have worked for my group. Many of the speakers I obtained did have drugs in their stories, but they would only mention this and then move on to the rest of their story, not dwelling on the subject of drugs. I chose speakers carefully, keeping in mind the Traditions.




Lali, I have so much respect for you, your ability to carry the message and the truth about Alcoholics Anonymous and the AA Traditions. Most AA speakers have drugs or many many other mind altering substances in their history.....however, they mention them briefly and move on, never ever going on and on about any other substance. AA members Respect Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 Traditions and Thank God they do. Again, thank you Lali for passing it on.

Identification is the very essence of our Common Bond and without that WE have nothing. I believe that the AA Traditions are written in order for a vital reason.

Its by no mistake that the very First AA Tradition says:

"Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity."

The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous is the most cherished quality our Society has. Our lives, the lives of all to come, depend squarely upon it. We stay whole, or A.A. dies. Without unity, the heart of A.A. would cease to beat; our world arteries would no longer carry the life-giving grace of God; His gift to us would be spent aimlessly. Back again in their caves, alcoholics would reproach us and say, "What a great thing A.A. might have been!"
Failed 12 Step Call? Not if we walk away sober!
User avatar
Patsy©
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 476
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 5:04 pm
Location: Boston, MA

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Jun 07, 2016 4:43 pm

tiffanyj16 wrote:I wish I knew how to thank each of you individually. Your honest feedback has been invaluable to me. I came here not knowing where to start, and I feel like you all have given me a lot of tools to use. I will pray that God speaks through me, I will vaguely skim over the drug bit, and try to focus most of what I say on the wonderful blessings I've received since entering this program. You all are so wonderful to take the time to help me. Thank you!


Here's another tool that might help put your mind at ease regarding sharing about your drug history in an AA meeting. It's published by AA World Services and entitled, "The A.A. Member —Medications and Other Drugs"

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-11_aam ... edDrug.pdf.

"Alcoholics Anonymous is a program for alcoholics who seek freedom from alcohol. It is not a program aimed at drug addiction. However, some A.A. members have misused or abused drugs, often as a substitute for alcohol, in such a manner as to threaten the achievement and maintenanceof sobriety. This has caused many A.A. members to be concerned with the misuse of drugs. The following stories are from A.A.s who have used drugs, ranging from marijuana to painkillers, and discovered the alcoholic’s tendency to became dependent on other drugs. Fortunately they were able to find their way to sobriety in A.A., free from mind altering drugs..."


AA members have always freely shared their experience, hope, and strength regarding their recovery from alcohol and drug use beginning with AA's co-founder Dr. Bob. Similar stories shared by AA members have been published by AA's Grapevine since it's beginning. The AA publication "Living Sober" frankly discusses the negative consequences of drug abuse among alcoholics and AA members freely share their ESH in AA's Living Sober meetings everywhere. Please feel free to honestly share your experience, hope, and strength in any AA meeting.
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
User avatar
ezdzit247
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 2077
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 4:38 pm
Location: California

Re: I'm really nervous

Postby Stepchild » Tue Jun 07, 2016 5:04 pm

I think I've done about every drug you can do with the exception of heroin...The only reason I never did that was someone once told me to never try it...Because I'd like it too much. But nothing brought me to my knees and beat me to that state of reasonableness they talk about in the book like alcohol did. That's what brought me to AA....Thankfully before it killed me. I mention that when I speak. I don't dwell on war stories though....You're speaking to a room full of people that have their own.

Talk about what brought you to AA...

I was a drunk, a terrible one. I didn't know when to stop. I would drink in excess. If I took the first sip, the night would end with me passed out covered in my own urine half naked. I could go on and on.


No need to go on and on...Make the bulk of it about recovery. From how you were treated at your first meeting...To how you found your sponsor...To how those steps changed you...And how you helped others change taking them through the steps. You'll be amazed at what kind of response you get. Ask God for the words and speak from your heart....You'll do fine.
Stepchild
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1437
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2014 1:31 pm

Next

Return to Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Exabot [Bot] and 11 guests