Self-Knowledge was the answer. Not!

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Self-Knowledge was the answer. Not!

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu May 26, 2016 4:00 am

At the half-way house we were at Bills Story. Its so illuminating how he takes us through his life. At this point he thinks self-knowledge would fix it after hearing from Dr. Silky. Then he returns the hospital again after a brief stint. He uses the parable of a skier. Quickly spirals down!

Surely this was the answer self- knowledge.

But it was not, for the frightful day came when I drank once more. The curve of my declining moral and bodily health fell off like a ski-jump.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Self-Knowledge was the answer. Not!

Postby Feeya » Thu May 26, 2016 5:44 am

That is what I keep telling myself: Self knowledge is the key, now that I know I have a problem- the problem is solved.
But I repeatedly get told not to trust anything I tell myself, not at this stage of sobriety so I don't.
One day at a time.
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Re: Self-Knowledge was the answer. Not!

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu May 26, 2016 5:54 am

Bill W adds couple of stories in the More about alcoholism-The car sales man story and the accountant story how the peculiar mental twist" we have developed will trick us into taking that first drink. Then then the vicious cycle. The defense comes from working the 12 steps and becoming conscious.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Self-Knowledge was the answer. Not!

Postby Tom S » Thu May 26, 2016 6:26 am

Good reminders, the car salesman and the accountant.
Not to mention that wonder of wonders...my personal favourite...The Jaywalker!
The Wiley Coyote of AA.
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Re: Self-Knowledge was the answer. Not!

Postby Spirit Flower » Thu May 26, 2016 11:07 am

My favorite is the carpet slipper guy.
...a score card reading zero...
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Re: Self-Knowledge was the answer. Not!

Postby Deskdad » Thu May 26, 2016 11:22 am

I am reading Bill's story as we speak - fascinating. Though written decades and decades ago, it could be my name instead of his in the Book.
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"When I came to recovery, I realized that being a child for 43 years nearly killed me."
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Re: Self-Knowledge was the answer. Not!

Postby Barbara D. » Fri May 27, 2016 9:28 am

I got here high-bottom and atheistic, so only my desperation kept me going to meetings when I really didn't think much of this recovery business applied to me. :lol: I was able to take Step 1 when I accepted the disease concept. I was able to use the Home Group as my Higher Power which got me through Step 2. Just seeing that I needed other feedback and that I was not in charge was incredible progress for me.

Somewhere in there, I really did think AA and the 12 Steps were like a college course. I'd work my way through it, understand my drinking and ultimately how to control it, and then graduate back into taking care of my own problems. And once I straightened out my problems, I might even be able to drink socially like "normal" folks instead of by myself, not knowing when Hyde would overcome Jekyll.

By the time I worked through Step 5 with sponsors, my thinking had undergone some changes and edited my beliefs about the nature of reality. I was doing service work and felt I had direction and purpose other than staying sober long enough to get a divorce.

I'm not sure exactly when I began to apply spiritual principles. The main thing was recognizing when I was taking control, knowing the result would be uncomfortable, and being able to turn that person, place, or thing over as not being any of my business. It was self-knowledge in the sense that I had new awareness. My boys gave me lots of practice in realizing that being responsible didn't mean I was in charge, that I had to be able to turn over outcomes. My youngest son got into drugs. Turn him over, take him back, turn him over... When I finally got out of the way, he got on his road to his own recovery.

In the spirit of Step 10, I understand this topic as meaning "progress, not perfection." I do have to pay attention to my own behaviors and feelings of anger/fear. I also have to nurture my relationship with the "Creator," being in harmony with even when some of my living details don't suit me.

In fellowship, Barbara D.
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