High Bottoms

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Re: High Bottoms

Postby Stepchild » Fri May 06, 2016 3:56 pm

I've used alcohol as a crutch my entire life, and it's held me back. I've never had a DUI, although I earned them for sure. I had a drunken car wreck when I turned 21 but for some reason wasn't given a breathalyzer (this was over 20 years ago). I barely remembered it the next day. I miss work frequently from drinking the night before because once I start I can't easily stop. I've been spoken to about it but I've been at my job 18 years so obviously I make up for it by trying to be an overachiever.


Welcome Jade...I'd bet if you shared the above in a meeting there would be someone saying to themselves...."Da%$...I'm glad I'm not that bad."

Google the book Alcoholics Anonymous and read the Doctor's Opinion and the first three chapters...See if you relate. I can tell you two things I learned in long drinking career...

My bottom came when I just stopped digging. That's up to you.

And that job you're talking about....They'll get tired of it.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby ezdzit247 » Fri May 06, 2016 4:41 pm

jade wrote:I just wish that I could find other people in the program (even just one or two) that have a "high bottom" like I guess I do. But this thread has made me realize that it is the emotional pain that is the bottom and that the tragedies are optional. I'm going to remember that line, that rings with me. I might stick it in my sig line even though I said it just because I need to be reminded of that.


Hi jade and welcome.

Early on in my sobriety I heard an AA speaker (think it was Clancy) described the difference between "high bottom" and "low bottom" drunks. He said that the former passes out face down and the latter passes out face up. I tend to agree with that description. I never really identified much with people who got a lot of DUI's, lost jobs, homes, cars, went bankrupt, kept going to jails, hospitals, mental institutions, or stayed in abusive relationships, etc. but I always identified with AA members who shared their feelings about what their drinking did to them, especially the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization that generally precedes our willingness to finally try to put the plug in jug and give up on all that "fun" we were having when we drank. It is still amazing to me that no matter how different our drinking adventures were or what we went through, we all found the same solution and it works for all of us who work it.

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby jade » Fri May 06, 2016 8:55 pm

Stepchild wrote:
Welcome Jade...I'd bet if you shared the above in a meeting there would be someone saying to themselves...."Da%$...I'm glad I'm not that bad."


I never thought of that. Thanks. That's powerful.

Stepchild wrote:
And that job you're talking about....They'll get tired of it.


I'm pretty sure they're already close. I've gone off the rails lately.
It's the emotional pain that's the bottom. The tragedies are optional. Sobriety date Jan 2 2017.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby jade » Fri May 06, 2016 8:59 pm

ezdzit247 wrote:
Hi jade and welcome.

Early on in my sobriety I heard an AA speaker (think it was Clancy) described the difference between "high bottom" and "low bottom" drunks. He said that the former passes out face down and the latter passes out face up. I tend to agree with that description. I never really identified much with people who got a lot of DUI's, lost jobs, homes, cars, went bankrupt, kept going to jails, hospitals, mental institutions, or stayed in abusive relationships, etc. but I always identified with AA members who shared their feelings about what their drinking did to them, especially the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization that generally precedes our willingness to finally try to put the plug in jug and give up on all that "fun" we were having when we drank. It is still amazing to me that no matter how different our drinking adventures were or what we went through, we all found the same solution and it works for all of us who work it.

Keep coming back....


Thanks. I'm really glad I found this forum. I feel like it's chipping away at my denial and making me put things in perspective.
It's the emotional pain that's the bottom. The tragedies are optional. Sobriety date Jan 2 2017.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby stacylou » Sat May 07, 2016 7:29 am

Hi Jade,

I, too, have not had a stereotypical rock bottom moment, either, and that fact kept me in denial for a long time that I was an alcoholic. I am what you call a high functioning alcoholic - I pay my bills on time, I keep my drinking private so that I've never made a public fool of myself, I own a home, I've had no run-ins with the law, I attend church regularly, etc. I thought to be an alcoholic meant that I had to be living on Skid Row, have a couple of DUIs under my belt, not be able to hold down a job, have strained family relationships, etc. Boy was I wrong.

In a way, I'm thankful that I've not had a stereotypical rock bottom situation. I consider myself fortunate in that regard and I disagree with those who say if you haven't had a rock bottom moment, you will, that it's not a matter of "if" but "when." We are all individuals battling the same disease and although our stories may sound similar in many regards, they may not sound entirely identical, either.

My advice to you is to not lose any sleep or peace of mind over not having a "low" rock bottom moment, just to keep working the program and going to meetings. Best of luck to you.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby Stepchild » Sat May 07, 2016 7:47 am

stacylou wrote: I consider myself fortunate in that regard and I disagree with those who say if you haven't had a rock bottom moment, you will, that it's not a matter of "if" but "when."


Welcome stacylou...I'm curious if you had continued drinking do you think you could have kept it on an even keel? Kept that job and house and everything else?

I think my experience goes more along with the feelings expressed in the book...

We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
Page 30

I admire you for getting out when you did.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby ezdzit247 » Sat May 07, 2016 10:24 am

stacylou wrote:....In a way, I'm thankful that I've not had a stereotypical rock bottom situation. I consider myself fortunate in that regard and I disagree with those who say if you haven't had a rock bottom moment, you will, that it's not a matter of "if" but "when." We are all individuals battling the same disease and although our stories may sound similar in many regards, they may not sound entirely identical, either....


I totally agree.

"But for the grace of God...."
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby DGPS » Sat May 07, 2016 4:20 pm

Hi - I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I couldn't see any disaster. But, I couldn't while I was still drinking. A little time without a drink really helps clear the fog.

It was only when I tried the simplicity and kindness of prayer that things started to happen for me and point towards sobriety.

Go easy and I will pray for you.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby JesMe » Sat May 07, 2016 10:30 pm

[quote="jade"]Hi. I'm trying to stop drinking, at least for a little while. I can't seem to pull it off.

When I was 54 years old I finally gave up. No big event, nor a high or low bottom. I simply realized that I could no longer continue living the way I had been. I had been around AA before (almost three years "dry") and thought (lied) I "had" worked the Steps. I had heard that each time you (hate the word slip) quit staying quit, things would get worse. And I can testify that was the fact for me.

Something was different this time. I didn't want to just quit drinking. I wanted to stop the daily insanity that my life was and had been for a long time. I didn't loose all earthly possessions, family, friends nor all the other things alcoholism takes from one. I really was, as it is said often in "these rooms", "Sick and tired of being sick and tired".

Bill W. who was a genuine word smith, wrote in Chapter Two of our basic text as follows:
"If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help."

This was the point I had reached. Couldn't be said better.

So cutting back some on the alcohol, which really is a symptom of deeper problems may be fine but "If you are as seriously alcoholic ...."

I wish you only the best for your life. And if you are not sure if you are alcoholic or not attend some Open AA Meetings and don't forget to practice "controlled drinking"! :wink:
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby kayrose » Sun May 08, 2016 3:47 am

I go to meetings and I cannot relate because I've never had DUI's, jail time, divorces, etc. I have a full time job plus a home business. I have a loving, dedicated partner of 17 years. Now I did attempt suicide and spent 2 weeks in a hospital because of that. But other than that, life is good. My problem is that when I drink (which is daily when I am not using program) then I cannot stop drinking. I drink until I pass out, black out and then I wake up and drink some more. Therefore, I am what some call a highly functional alcoholic. I wake up from my stupor without a hangover and go to work and no one knows about my drinking problem, except for my loving partner and me. However, I know I have a serious problem with alcohol. I have only just returned to AA after drifting off for a few years. I am on day 3 of sobriety. So, Jade, I think I understand what you are trying to say. Hang in there. I know I am an alcoholic, even if I haven't had the terrible tragedies these other folks have had. Good luck. I am rooting for you.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun May 08, 2016 4:44 am

My problem is that when I drink (which is daily when I am not using program) then I cannot stop drinking.


Thats the phenomenon of craving after we take that first drink. But the main problem is, an alcoholic cannot keep away from that 1st drink. He/she will always go back without a spiritual awakening.

The spiritual malady/internal discomfort/un-treated alcoholism will lead us back to that blind spot and then we take that 1st drink and then over. We are off to the races. This is the vicious cycle of alcoholism.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby BlackedOut » Sun May 08, 2016 6:07 am

jade wrote:I just wish that I could find other people in the program (even just one or two) that have a "high bottom" like I guess I do. But this thread has made me realize that it is the emotional pain that is the bottom and that the tragedies are optional. I'm going to remember that line, that rings with me. I might stick it in my sig line even though I said it just because I need to be reminded of that.


I felt just like you as I listened to some of the speakers on You Tube because the first couple of audios were stories of women who had been to prison. However, probably the only reason I've never been to prison is because I never got caught. For me, my "high bottom" was realizing that I am starting to exhibit the same signs of the advanced-stage alcoholics I know and knew if I keep this up I could be the next one getting myself into trouble.

I also want to say the Part II of the [b]"Big Book" Fourth Edition
I most identify with is the (hopefully) ones in the section "They Stopped in Time"

However, it is the preamble to the "They Stopped in Time" stories that I identify with the most, particularly this section:

"Among today's incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have. Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.

Why do men and women like these join AA?"

...They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done."


No "serious" harm had been done, but that doesn't mean there was NO harm. I could see myself getting worse and worse especially within the past five years.

I feel SO fortunate right now that AA can help "high bottom" drunks as well as "low bottom" ones -- and no one is better than anyone else, because I've been in an emotional if not physical prison most of my life but especially after I started drinking to self-medicate 12 years ago! Not much difference!

I was hesitant to go to AA for a long time just because churches I used to attend would discount it because it apparently it wasn't "faith" based enough. However, there was a point in my life when I decided I needed more than just "faith" to keep me sober.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby ezdzit247 » Sun May 08, 2016 1:08 pm

kayrose wrote:I go to meetings and I cannot relate because I've never had DUI's, jail time, divorces, etc. I have a full time job plus a home business. I have a loving, dedicated partner of 17 years. Now I did attempt suicide and spent 2 weeks in a hospital because of that. But other than that, life is good. My problem is that when I drink (which is daily when I am not using program) then I cannot stop drinking. I drink until I pass out, black out and then I wake up and drink some more. Therefore, I am what some call a highly functional alcoholic. I wake up from my stupor without a hangover and go to work and no one knows about my drinking problem, except for my loving partner and me. However, I know I have a serious problem with alcohol. I have only just returned to AA after drifting off for a few years. I am on day 3 of sobriety. So, Jade, I think I understand what you are trying to say. Hang in there. I know I am an alcoholic, even if I haven't had the terrible tragedies these other folks have had. Good luck. I am rooting for you.


Hi kayrose and welcome.

Congratulations on 3 days sober!

No disrespect intended, but this part of your share gave me a chuckle:

Now I did attempt suicide and spent 2 weeks in a hospital because of that. But other than that, life is good.


I do enjoy dark humor, especially dark British humor, and when I read what you wrote about your suicide attempt, I instantly thought of an old joke that goes ".....but other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?"

Glad you made it back to AA, kayrose. Loved your share.

Keep coming back.....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby CGPoolman » Mon May 09, 2016 8:30 am

Hi Kayrose,

I was the same way when I first came into the rooms of AA. I never had a DUI, no arrests or jail time, never lost a job, etc. I never suffered any real legal or financial damage as a result of my drinking. It was that exact reason that I kept drinking. Even though I was a blackout drinker for many years, I always compared myself to the others in the rooms and would say to myself "Well, I never did that, so I must be OK". After a meeting one night I was talking to someone about it, and they suggested that instead of comparing myself and looking for the differences, look for the similarities. What I realized is, other than the DUI's/Jail time/etc our patterns and behaviors were eerily the same. Chances are if I had kept drinking I would have done all that and then some eventually. I'm very thankful I was able to put down the drink before it got to that point.

-CG
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby Reborn » Mon May 09, 2016 9:10 am

Instead of thinking you're not bad enough to be here...be GRATEFUL that you got here when you did.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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