High Bottoms

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Re: High Bottoms

Postby PaigeB » Mon May 09, 2016 9:56 am

He/she will always go back without a spiritual awakening.

And daily maintenance of our spiritual condition.

Going to AA helps remind me where I don't want to be and I get ample opportunities to help others. The book says that "nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intense work with another alcoholic." And also that being with other alcoholics is the "bright spot" in our days.

Yeah, sometimes it is a pain in the arse to go to meetings every week (or a few times a week). But it is far less time than what being a slave to alcohol took. So I go. And it seems it helps me most when I don't feel like going. Anyway, with an open mind, I always get something to stick in my tool chest or learn how to better use a tool I already have.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby jade » Mon May 09, 2016 12:45 pm

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to me. I've posted in other recovery forums before but didn't get that much out of the experience... and now I think that was due to a combination of my not sharing as openly & honestly as I am now ready to, and my not being eager enough to digest and process people's responses to me. So far I've taken two very valuable nuggets from this thread - one is that emotional pain is my bottom and the other "trappings" of what I perceived as a "low bottom" are optional. It's bizarre - some people feel they need to have their neighbor's car or wife or house or money to fit in... I was feeling like I needed the DUI, job loss, divorce to fit into AA. Most people would call that denial. For me it is denial but it's also insecurity, crazy as that sounds.

The second piece of wisdom is that if I told my story at a meeting, someone there will probably think to themselves that they're grateful they aren't as bad as me. Meanwhile I wasn't thinking I was bad enough.
It's the emotional pain that's the bottom. The tragedies are optional. Sobriety date Jan 2 2017.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby stacylou » Fri May 13, 2016 10:27 am

Hi Jade,

I can't figure out how to do the whole quote thing, but you wrote something that I would like to address:

"I just wish that I could find other people in the program (even just one or two) that have a "high bottom" like I guess I do."

I have had only high bottoms, too, and as one AA member told me in a face to face meeting, our bottoms are all relative. That really helped me out, because like you, I am a functional alcoholic who appears to other people to have my life going well. Alcoholics are good at deceit (to others and to ourselves). We don't need to be on Skid Row before we reach out for help and try to get better. Another AA member told me that it wasn't that I hadn't burned any bridges, lost my home or job, got DUIs or other legal trouble, etc...it was that I hadn't done those things YET. That also sunk in and helped me realize that I was fortunate that my bottoms are as you say "high" and that I sought help before I got that down.

I wish you the very best of luck in your sobriety,

Stacylou :)
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby stacylou » Fri May 13, 2016 10:44 am

Stepchild wrote:Welcome stacylou...I'm curious if you had continued drinking do you think you could have kept it on an even keel? Kept that job and house and everything else?


Hi Stepchild,

Thanks for your question.

If I had kept on drinking I wouldn't have lost a job (fortunately) because I am on disability - but I doubt that I would have been able to keep one if I weren't disabled. I was a RN prior to my disability and it was a very stressful job and for me getting drunk numbed me out from feeling stressed - among other emotions. As far as losing a house...well, I think my husband could have kept us afloat, at least for a while, but I could very well see myself burning bridges with family and friends, quite likely ruining a good marriage, getting DUIs on my way to the liquor store to pick up more booze and having my name listed in the police log section of the local newspaper, destroying my health, etc. I am already in the early stages of peripheral neuropathy, and a risk factor for that is alcoholism. So what you are inferring is spot on - it was only a matter a time.

Thanks, again, for the question. Take care.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby Gannie » Fri May 13, 2016 10:35 pm

I fell for that too. I had almost one month sober, thought the same thing, not low enough bottom, not really alcoholic etc. Drank again drank at work and one month later I am on leave from work and probably fired. I have drank at work, or been totally hungover for over 20 years but was high functioning like you so got away with it. It progresses and will get worse. Don't worry about your story, quit before you get a story, sure wish I could take back last month, if not the last 20 years.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby Noels » Sat May 14, 2016 12:39 am

Good morning beautiful people :D it's raining here by us. An awesome blessing. New life and nourishment. Washing away all negative :D we have our own business and work from home which made it easier for me to drink. Only when I stopped drinking did I realise how much damage my drinking did to our business. Heck in all honesty - there were many times in my drinking days that I wanted to fire myself!
So if you still have the job. Please count that as a blessing. Don't even question. Just be thankful that you quit in time.
Have an awesome weekend.
Mwah xxx
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby Chakrachaser » Mon May 23, 2016 6:43 pm

I love this topic. I also have a high bottom. I didn't have legal problems or disastrous losses at the end, somehow I got away with things. My punishment was the psychological beatings I felt every day. It was miserable. Staying sober immediately felt like self love and I quickly realized that I'm not alone in this world. When things were as low as I could stand it and I felt completely desperate, I trusted my gut and got honest with myself. It's the best thing I've ever done! At first I felt like meetings were a "one up" contest but I eventually saw myself as lucky to have been spared horrible circumstances. I see now that we have all felt shame and regret.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby PaigeB » Wed May 25, 2016 10:47 am

Thanks for sharing Chakra!
My punishment was the psychological beatings I felt every day.

That is a great description of my pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization at the end. But also some of what I can do to myself, even though I have been sober a bit!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby tyg » Wed May 25, 2016 2:35 pm

I see a Bottom as just the "time point" when a person started taking action to treat their alcoholism and became willing to do whatever necessary to have a spiritual awakening so the obsession to drink can be removed...Permanently. Until then, bottoms don't exist because untreated alcoholism is an abyss of disasters that continue to get worse, never better. Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly..the disasters will always materialize when alcoholism goes untreated.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby kdub720 » Wed May 25, 2016 4:38 pm

I have hard time with the rock bottom thing. I have gotten into trouble driving and for a long time I thought my driving was the only problem. Then I realized that it was indeed the drinking and the way i let it control me. We all have unique reasons of why and how we drink yet it is the power we let alcohol have over our lives that makes the difference. I choose sobriety because while drinking my only friend is the bottle. I guess that is my low, when the only one I want around is the drink. Good topic and thanks for sharing.
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Re: High Bottoms

Postby Deskdad » Thu May 26, 2016 9:23 am

Been there, done that. All of it. When I first started going to AA, I had no legal troubles and thought to myself that everybody had much worse stories. I didn't take AA seriously, stopped going and fell back into my old habits. Missing a lot of work - it being mentioned in my evals, etc - just like you. 2 years later, I go back to AA after living in hell. Now I have legal issues and stories more similar to everyone else. I guess is what I am trying to say is don't wait around to find a new bottom or have stories as bad as everyone else. Count your lucky stars you are seeing it as a problem now.
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