relapse after a long time sober

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robert
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Re: relapse after a long time sober

Post by robert » Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:42 pm

tyg wrote:
so i ask you please to think before you comment, i was asking for understanding and support! Not a list of what to do and how to do it.
This is a fatal illness so out of love and concern people in the rooms are going to probably keep suggesting the basics to help that person get(and stay) on solid ground to recovery.

Welcome Robert...so glad you made it back!!

Your experience is going to be helpful to many others. Soon, you will not be regretting the past. You have a whole NEW life ahead of you now. Drifting into worry, remorse or morbid reflection only diminishes our usefulness to others, blocks God consciousness and keeps us from appreciating the journey we are on now.

I had six years and relapsed. I was out there for almost 3 years. I wanted to be sober again but i had a really tough time getting dry. The powerlessness and loss of choice in drink is baffling. I lost a lot and began experiencing severe brain damage symptoms. Guess it took what it took and had to go through what I did to understand that there will be times I have no mental defense against that first drink. My knowledge and willpower is not enough and that, my defense must come from a higher power.

Alcoholism wants me dead or miserable. It is a daily reprieve (of all our shortcomings) contingent on our spiritual fitness. "We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us. pg 35"
The comments are made through good intention but not always from a place of love, awareness or understanding.
I do appreciate the comments and support! Of coursd i do but some slightly misguided.

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Spirit Flower
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Re: relapse after a long time sober

Post by Spirit Flower » Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:51 pm

Thanks for sharing Robert. I haven't lost my sobriety since the beginning, but I did stop AA for about 10 years. I have a very strong spiritual practice the whole time; but am so grateful I came back to meetings 3 years ago. I've heard your story over and over and am glad I didn't drink.

Robert, in your first post, you said 12 years. Further down in the thread, you say 18 total. So, did you have a previous slip?

I say, including myself, we who stop going to meetings after a number of years have missed the point of meetings. It is a spiritual fellowship from which no one should want to leave.
...a score card reading zero...

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ezdzit247
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Re: relapse after a long time sober

Post by ezdzit247 » Mon Jun 15, 2015 6:50 pm

robert wrote:....I am aware of myself my emotions and others. I am a good support to myself but having siad that am human and need other people. the fact is the time came when i did not have a defence against the first drink because this illness is so cunning, patient and sutble. As someone siad, i havnt lost what i gained in thd 18 years of sobriety in total that i achieved and certainly havnt lost the fundamental basics of what to do when in trouble which is get to meatings, share, face things head on. so i ask you please to think before you comment, i was asking for understanding and support! Not a list of what to do and how to do it.

i understand there are people from all walks of life in AA with all sorts of delusion going on and dont even know it.
I have already started attending meetings, sharing, praying again, i also intend to join a group and go through the steps again to address any accumulated garbage. (And nobody even had to tell me to do so!) this as im sure youll understand is a rather emotional time and would appreciate support from those with similar experience.
Hi robert

I picked up that first drink again about two weeks before what would have been my 2nd AA birthday. I too had done everything suggested in the BB, worked all the Steps within my first 6 months, and was especially active in service and 12 Step work. My black out binge drinking only lasted about 3-4 days before I came to and stopped. It was actually pretty unremarkable as far as drunken disasters go, but the fact that I had gotten drunk again in spite of all I thought I knew about this disease and in spite of all I'd done to distance myself from picking up that first drink again--that's what boggled my mind. My closest AA friends loved and supported me, didn't ask me questions or try to lecture me, but there were a few AA members who really didn't know me or anything about me or anything about relapses who very were eager to show me the "right way" to do the program. I politely declined their offers and instead went to a meeting every day, listened to my fellow AAers share their ESH, and then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening on a nearby lake watching sunsets, fishing and meditating, clearing the garbage out of my head, seeking and finding my God and the spirit within me. After about a month I felt whole and healed. I found something else during that time that I've never lost. A sense of balance. Never had that before and was never aware of when I was getting out of balance and needed to make adjustments. From then on I did. That's what worked for me and it's still working. It sounds like you've been through a very similar experience. Glad you're back.
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

joey
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Re: relapse after a long time sober

Post by joey » Tue Jun 16, 2015 3:48 am

Robert, I have been away from F2F meetings for 8 of my 9 dry years. I try and get on here as often as I can though so I can stay connected with people who recognize the nature of this disease.

What you have experienced is a slip and it does not negate the 12 years of sobriety you had prior. What I want to say to you is best expressed in a song called Accidents can Happen. The artist is Sixx AM.

From your posts I can gather you have already begun the jump back on the road to recovery. Good Luck !
Joey

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