Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

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TIM74
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Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by TIM74 »

Again, I want to say thank you for the courage and outreach of people who have shared their experiences with, I guess it's true, the dreaded disease of alcohol. I have posted 2 or 3 posts and I have not followed up on the sage advice that's been given and I truly apologize due to the fact someone took the time to even respond (I can only hope I'm so considerate. Can I try to make an online promise that the drink (beer) I'm having right now will be my last one. You all, are truly a blessing and a community I cherish….

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Niagara
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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by Niagara »

Hello Tim, and welcome back

I took the liberty of deleting a duplicate post so as to keep answers all in one place.

All I can say is it took me a while to get to AA. I tried quite a few times 'after tonight, I won't drink again'. I think most, if not all of us have been in that position.

My life was unbearable, unmanageable when I got here, and reading the first few chapters of the big book (google AA big book online) to read online for free. This helped to get rid of denial, and any thoughts I had that I could control this disease that I have. On the back of that, I ended up asking questions, visiting face to face meetings, getting a sponsor and working the steps (which is where the real recovery is at)

I wish you luck - we are here for you
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
Theodore Roosevelt

TIM74
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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by TIM74 »

Hey thank you for the message, I have already failed however, I did pack up the left over cans of beer for trash but I took one and opened it. Ahhh. Your words, written correspondence means the world and I understand this is no joke. So, I again say thank you; an anything message of support is so paramount…thank you...

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Niagara
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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by Niagara »

That's the physical allergy aspect of alcoholism. I didn't drink beer, but wine.......I would say to myself, 'I'll just have one glass tonight'. Having one would set off a physical craving, an allergy, which meant it was immensely difficult to stop drinking once I started. Despite my best intentions, I very rarely managed to stick at one glass. By the end, my one glass had turned into one wine box. My body, as an alcoholic does not process alcohol in the same way that a normal drinkers does. The only way to deal with that part of it, was to put the drink down and stay away from it.

That part is difficult. The physical withdrawals were not pleasant.....and it can be dangerous to do so without medical help (I didn't know that, at the time)

It was a very vicious cycle...every time I picked up a drink, so the craving began again, if I didn't, the withdrawals kicked in, and the mental obsession was there.

It went like this for me - put the drink down, get through that awful withdrawal stage. Learn that the mental obsession part of alcoholism is very strong- indeed, it was all I could think about....get a sponsor, work the 12 steps to the best of my ability - physical craving now gone, mental obsession, no longer an issue - as long as I stay in fit spiritual condition, which I work on daily.

The alternative (which I'd been doing for some time) was this. Drink, drink some more, wake up, think about drinking, feel like I'm climbing the walls, get stressed, anxious tired, need to drink, drink, drink some more, wake up......and on, and on, and on. Day after day. I was following this pattern into an early grave, and I was clearly going insane.

The only way to start this was by putting the drink down, and in those early days sometimes I was taking it five minutes at a time, never mind a day at a time. But I got through it, as did all of us who are sober here tonight.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
Theodore Roosevelt

maurits
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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by maurits »

TIM74 wrote:an anything message of support is so paramount
Niagara wrote:But I got through it, as did all of us who are sober here tonight.
yes i am still grateful for all the support that i received during those hard moments in recovery,

what i have learned is to realize that i came from far and that every (little) positive action is progress,

thank you Tim for sharing

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Tommy-S
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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by Tommy-S »

Hi Tim,

Thanks for the share.

I think you got it kinds of backwards, though... We don't Stop drinking and then go to AA, simply because IF we could Stop drinking Before AA, then we wouldn't need AA... Follow?

You can find AA near you by going on AA's main website, http://www.aa.org ... There's a "How to Find AA tab, and that'll list the Central Office nearest you, most which have a 24 hour Hotline so you can talk to someone in real time.

I share this because I have seen TOO many die with that "I'll quit tomorrow" mentality... And they didn't have to.

hope that helps... Tommy
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!

2granddaughters

Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by 2granddaughters »

Tim:

Here is AA's HOW IT WORKS http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf

A most distasteful document to an alcoholic but it works !!

What we need is the last thing that we want but once we begin to follow the direction life gets better.

All the best.

Bob R

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avaneesh912
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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by avaneesh912 »

I did pack up the left over cans of beer for trash but I took one and opened it.

Hence the book in the chapter "More about alcoholism" talks about the state of mind of the alcoholic prior to preceding the 1st drink. The rest is just drama (the craving piece of it). It over and over emphazises the problem of the alcoholic centers around the mind rather then the body.

I recently posted an incident where a women went to the store bought a bottle of vodka, through it in the bin and came on-line (a non-aa related board) and posted what she did. And the entire board were commending her act. But I go, "oh no". She was gone for couple of days and she came back and said, she took the bottle out and drank it. Yet she is still experimenting with moderation, she is still not convinced that she is defenseless against the 1st drink. Thats the tragedy. Many don't realize that, left on their own device, they can't stay away from bottle.

You can't just jump to chapter 5 and get convinced that you are powerless, you got to go back to "The doctors opinion", "Bills Story", "More about alcoholism", "There is a solution" and We agnostics and realize that you are powerless and that you need help. Thats why in Chapter 5 it says you are step 3.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by Tom S »

So, what eventually worked, for a lot of us, was to actually go to an AA meeting.
Simple.
So simple I made up a bazillion reasons not to.
Finally, some inner will to live got me to one.
I was amazed; nobody wanted, demanded, requested, required anything nor made inquiry of me. I filled out no forms, gave no information and saw that things were just on a first name basis.
I don't remember a single thing that was said, but I did see people who seemed pretty happy with their lives who were no longer drinking alcoholicly.
They suggested I come again and I did.
Life hasn't been the same since.

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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by Lali »

I agree with everything I have read here. Drinking or not drinking...get immersed in AA. Make AA a daily part of your life. Read the BB as suggested, go to meetings. Pray to a higher power for help first thing in the morning. You will NOT be turned away from AA because you have not yet put down the bottle. Sit in meetings and listen! Before you know it, you will be hearing a lot of stuff that makes sense and that you can actually identify with. Heck, try doing 90 meetings in 90 days - no harm can come from that!! Its just one hour out of your day. There's a guy in my meeting that has been coming to meetings there as long as I have. (4+ yrs.) He was getting some sober time here and there. He was coming every day that he didn't have work even tho during much of that time
he was still drinking. It was the one place he felt good (and safe) every day. He had lost his home and family and we became his family. There he sat, day after day after day for years, just listening. Well, he will be picking up his one year medallion this month. He had gotten a sponsor and had done everything that was suggested. He didn't smile a lot when he came in, but he has this new serenity and happiness that shows! He was glowing when he told me of his accomplishment. Things are looking up - he now has full time employment (so he comes to the night group now mostly.) His relationships with family members are on the mend. I'm not telling you to embark on a three year plan or anything like that - LOL- but this is a story I love to tell. If you fail, try again and again...
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

catcar
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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by catcar »

You only need to WANT to stop drinking to be in AA Keep coming back no matter what! Sit and listen and let it be an open door for you.

tomsteve
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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by tomsteve »

TIM74 wrote:Again, I want to say thank you for the courage and outreach of people who have shared their experiences with, I guess it's true, the dreaded disease of alcohol. I have posted 2 or 3 posts and I have not followed up on the sage advice that's been given and I truly apologize due to the fact someone took the time to even respond (I can only hope I'm so considerate. Can I try to make an online promise that the drink (beer) I'm having right now will be my last one. You all, are truly a blessing and a community I cherish….
Have you made promises in your past and stuck to them? Did ya stick to them? Even so do you think that will work with alcoholism? I think I read a reply he it didn't work too good.
But that's all good! Great lesson on something that doesn't work.

What it takes to stop drinking....hmmmm....Welp, I think between all of us here that got sober there are may things that it took- one of them I think WE have in common:
We decided we wanted what the program had to offer and were Willing to go to ANY lengths to get it.
If ya don't know what the program has to offer, it's in the first 164 pages of the big book. I can simplify it for ya by suggesting searching for " promises of the big book." there's promises for every step that WILL materialize IF they are worked for.
And there's also promises of what will happen if we don't.

Ya know the great thing about what I had to do to get and stay sober using the program?
I didn't have to figure out how to do it on my own, no illegal actions involved, and none of it hurt me!
And as promised:

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone even alchol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If temted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the MIRACLE of it. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid.


Tim, today ya got a choice- you can keep letting fear control your decision to go to a meeting or ya can get some courage.
We don't bite. There's no secret tattooes we brand on people, no anointing rituals, it doesn't cost a dime, ya don't have to say a word.

Best move I made, after receiving the gift of desperation, was to get some courage to walk into an AA meeting. Hardest door I ever opened was to that first meeting but they got easier after that.
courage- get ya some!

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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by Eliza »

Tim,

When you hit your bottom, go to a meeting face to face in your area. Until then, good luck with the yet's; oh that didn't happen to me, yet or I'm not like that, yet or stuff like that. Wish you the best with your decision. You can quit before the yet's happen; there is no prerequisite except a desire to stop drinking.

zteknik
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Re: Maybe Day One will Begin on 02/14/15

Post by zteknik »

Tim thank you for sharing.
I too was in your shoes.
When I first started I knew I had to do something, well for the probation officer anyways. So I would go to the meetings (drunk of course) get my face known- they didn't make me get a paper signed but being paranoid as I was I was certain they had spies..
It wasn't until I finally had a moment of clarity and did it for myself that I started to work the program and it worked for me.

My moment of clarity was on my sons birthday, being the drunk I was I had to celebrate. Well when I came to I had this 2 year old give me a hug and said "Daddy I love you."
In that split second I came to realize I am absolutely useless to him drunk so I had to get sober for myself and become the father he needed
That was April 15 of 07 and I still do this program for myself so I can carry the message to others..

Keep coming back, I pray that you may find your moment of clarity and do it for yourself... ;)

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