70 hours since my last drink

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Elizabeth250613
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70 hours since my last drink

Post by Elizabeth250613 »

Wow, did not think coming to this site would affect me this way. I'm bawling my eyes out. I just meant to read other people's stories for help but I think if I actually make a commitment to another human being, I'll be more successful. This is my 3rd day sober. I occasionally binge drank in my late 20's & early 30's, quit for 13 years entirely on my own then started social drinking again. In just one year, social drinking became occasional binge drinking, then eventually to near daily drinking for the last 5 years. I sometimes can go 2 days without a drink but cannot really remember the last time I was on to a Day 3 so tonight is my big test. I am having trouble sleeping and having night sweats and headaches during the day as well as irritability but trying to concentrate on the fact that those things aside, I am feeling better than I have felt in many years and am so determined to NEVER accept even one drink again, because I know I just cannot stop at one.

becksdad
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Re: 70 hours since my last drink

Post by becksdad »

Hi Elizabeth! A big welcome to you here at e-AA! My name is Ed, I am an alcoholic, and I am so glad you've found us here! My story over the years parallels yours in many aspects. I have been both a daily drinker and a binge drinker, and back and forth again and again. And despite my resolve to never drink again (made many times), I always seemed to end up in the doomed experiment of the first drink. I was even able to not drink for a period of years, but once the first drink was in me, the downward spiral continued very quickly, as if I had never stopped. It was quite baffling how this could continually happen to me.

Fortunately, I found a solution to the problem in Alcoholics Anonymous. Putting down the drink was just the first thing I needed to do. AA has a program consisting of 12 simple steps, that when practiced to the best of our ability, actually dispels the obsession to drink. I had to go pretty far down before I was willing to do the things suggested in AA, I don't know why. Because the 12 steps truly are the easier, softer way. It's been just over 3 years since I have had a drink, and I have absolutely no desire to drink. AA helped me to discover a way of life that is infinitely more satisfying than any I had ever known.... even before I picked up my first drink. I am happy to wake to a new day, each day, and have a gratitude for living which was unknown to me before.

I hope you can immerse yourself in AA, both here online, and at face to face meetings. This website you have already found! To find AA meetings near you, either check the phone directory or Google AA and your city/town. That will lead to a website with a local phone number and a directory of meeting days, times, and locations. I promise that you will be welcomed warmly, and you will meet people just like you. Make the call. Someone will be able to talk with you 24/7, and even take you to a meeting if you wish. And while you're here, check out the rest of the website - there are 24/7 chat rooms, online chat meetings, temporary sponsors, online literature.... a lot.

Please keep coming back and let us know how things are going for you! We know exactly what you are dealing with, and will do anything to help you along in recovery!

Thanks,

Ed

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PaigeB
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Re: 70 hours since my last drink

Post by PaigeB »

Hi Elizabeth! Glad you found us! My name is Paige and I am an alcoholic woman in Iowa. Happy to hear you say this:
You said: so determined to NEVER accept even one drink again, because I know I just cannot stop at one.
Hold that thought, you are going to need that tenacity to stay away from that first fatal drink! I was never a one-drink-woman, in fact I was not at all like those people who went out after work for a "few". I have an allergy to alcohol that once I take one drink I experience what is called the phenomena of craving. Here's the rub, I am allergic to aspirin too, but it does not call to me from the shelf trying to get me to take it! Aspirin is just one of many ways I can find a solution to my pain... just as AA is a solution to staying away from the drink. AA is the only way I have found that works for me though. I have gone from a slave to alcohol, who could not even feel the love of my family, to an active & effective member of my community! Like Ed said, I threw myself into AA and never looked back! I have completed the 12 Steps with a sponsor and I am now sponsoring other women who want to use the Steps to not drink and be comfortable in their own skin. It is really an awesome life that I never thought I could have and I owe it all the AA.

So it sounds like you might want to check out a few meetings in your area and see if you think you're an alcoholic who needs AA to stop drinking and actually feel better than when you were drinking! You can private message me your zip code and I can hook you up with some information ok?

Good. Keep moving forward... keep swimming... the result if you stop swimming now will have effects that are immediate and maybe deadly. :arrow:
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

JohnZ
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Re: 70 hours since my last drink

Post by JohnZ »

Hi Elizabeth, welcome!

Don't think about staying sober forever - that's overwhelming. Just concentrate on today. You can do it! Ask God for help.

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ann2
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Re: 70 hours since my last drink

Post by ann2 »

Welcome Elizabeth, wonderful to read you, congratulations!

I saw that you were interested in reading personal stories, so I wanted to pass on the link to e-aa's group stories pages: www.e-aa.org/group_stories.php

To find a meeting near you, call the number for Alcoholics Anonymous in your telephone book. Another sober alcoholic, recovered through following the AA way, will answer. The call is completely confidential.

Hope to read more of you,

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

Elizabeth250613
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Re: 70 hours since my last drink-still hanging in there

Post by Elizabeth250613 »

Thank you for your support!! It feels good to know someone else knows my secret and has been down this road and is so encouraging.
I woke up this morning before my alarm feeling so peaceful after a pretty decent night's sleep. It's only day 5 but I remain determined. Thanks for the reminder of "one day at a time". I said to myself (about 10 times over a few hours!!) just say no tonight, and then I say a little prayer for some extra help and I've stayed true to my vow. I'm just not ready for a public AA meeting and may never be. I'm a very private person. Surely there are people who were successful by not going that route. I'll keep reading stories here and being true to my own self. I did it once and can do it again. Others think of me as a strong and capable woman so I will concentrate on believing that myself.

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Brock
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Re: 70 hours since my last drink

Post by Brock »

There is a story in the Big Book 3rd. edition, titled "Lifesaving Words", about an Indian army officer, who apparently never attended a meeting. This was more due to his isolated location, than him not wanting to attend, and he had a sponsor in the city of New Delhi, who he kept in touch with by mail. This is the only case I have heard of, in which someone did the program without face to face meetings, even those at sea, use the internet meetings because they have no other choice, but look forward to the regular meetings when they can get them.

I think it is perfectly natural, to be a bit shy about attending your first few meetings, and many alcoholics say that they were shy and reserved, this is sometimes given as the reason they started drinking, for a little social courage. But to miss out on the excellent fellowship this program offers, and to certainly make recovery far more difficult, if not unlikely, would be a great shame. Can you consider calling the AA number in your area, and perhaps by speaking to someone; preferably a lady; you might express your feelings, I expect this would help to put you more at ease. And if the person asks if she can visit you, well why not; you are not committing yourself to anything. So many people, myself included, say at meetings that we were hesitant to come at first, but now have found the greatest group of friends anyone could wish for.

God bless all who contribute.
Brock.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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Ida
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Re: 70 hours since my last drink

Post by Ida »

Elizabeth250613 wrote: I know I just cannot stop at one.
Hey Elizabeth! Thank you so much for posting this! I was just listening to my good non-alcoholic friend try to explain to me that now that I have not had a drink in four years, I can handle social drinking again. I haven't ever drank over this philosophical conversation that we often have, but it always makes me go back to that little area of insanity that will always exist in my head and say to myself, "Maybe I could handle it..." I had just argued with him that I have seen many people come back to AA and say that they tried drinking again, and within a short period of time, they were right back to where they were before they quit drinking. I told him there is no rational explanation why it just can't be moderated for some people, and I believe in my heart of hearts that I am one of those people. I don't really want to just have one drink once every three months; what would be the point of that!? I want to drink to the point of getting very drunk every time I drink (preferably every day...); do normal people say things like this? No. They do not; therefore, I AM and alcoholic. It amazes me that I can still be so easily "duped" by my own crazy thought process. The fact of the matter is, if I am sitting around wondering if I can handle drinking without it being "that big of a deal", then I probably can't handle drinking because non-alcoholic people do not sit around and think about stuff like that; it doesn't even occur to them.

I'm so glad that you have made it three entire days (the first 90 days are always the longest!). I hope you hang in there and continue to recover. Thank you so much for sharing; you may have kept me from a drink tonight! You are in my thoughts...

Lali
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Re: 70 hours since my last drink

Post by Lali »

Welcome, Elizabeth. Well, it's been another day since your last drink. How are you doing?
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

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