7 Year Itch

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Marc L
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by Marc L »

Mike O wrote:
MitchellK wrote:
My personal belief is that what you do outside of the meetings is more important than what you do or say inside the rooms.
Absolutely. Life is not meant to be lived at A.A. meetings.
My advice is put your phone down, get off yer ass and see what you can contribute.
:D
Tell it like it is...
Nothing wrong with that even though the recipient might get their feelings hurt a little.
Sometimes it's what they need. No pussyfooting around here, eh? :lol:

Marc
Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

Lali
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by Lali »

SouthofBoston wrote:Hello,

I am 29 years old and I have been sober for over 6 years, my life is great, however I am bored with AA. None of it is interesting. I spend all meetings playing on my phone. I'm not a social person so i don't start conversations at the outskirts of meetings. AA feels like it has "worn off" for me. I often speak at open discussion meetings but I avoid commitments because hate talking at them. I wouldn't mind sponsoring people, but the opportunity never comes around. I can't stand most young people because they are immature and rarely stay sober. I can't relate to most older people because they have kids and grew up in the 60s/70s. I just feel lost in a sea of sobriety.

Anyone feel this way before?
You don't like the young people and you don't like the old people. Hmm. Sounds like you are the common denominator here. I don't know about your group, but here it is considersed extremely rude to play with your phone when someone is sharing. Okay, let's examine your problem. You don't like young people because they are immature and rarely stay sober. THAT'S WHY THEY ARE IN A.A. Is no one to reach out to them and perhaps even sponsor them because they are immature and rarely stay sober? That could describe lots of people in AA and of ANY age group. You don't relate to the older people because they have kids????? When we first arrive in AA we are told to look at the similarities in others, not the differences. Everyone is there has one major thing in common and that is that they are alcoholic and they are in meetings to receive help. Is that not enough for you to relate? This is recovery. Surely, you aren't suggesting that people are sharing in meetings what their children did in school that day? I'm not sure I understand why you even attend meetings if all you are doing is playing with your phone.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

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Marc L
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by Marc L »

Ah Kids Nowadays... Ya gotta' love'm.
They've got no clue about what they want or need
And like to complain about not knowing what they want or need. :D
Here's a remedy... Get a JOB!

Love;
Marc
Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

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johnd
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by johnd »

S.of Boston,
You say you share at OPEN discussion meetings, and tired of hearing the same old stories,
OPEN MEETINGS are designed to attract not a place to discuss our issues and recovery process that is what the CLOSED meeting is for... Step meetings, BB meetings, Men's Meeting's..... I'm assuming when you share at the OPEN meeting. you're painting a self portrait of yourself that A.A. is wonderful, couldn't get any better etc etc. when in all honesty you're hurting and feeling is this all there is.... I would go back to either of those sponsors and ask them how do they stay sober and are they working the steps in their life today....
You might be surprised what will happen once you start asking instead of waiting for it to happen.....

WILLINGNESS on your part will defintely change the present circumstance... Just thought I'd share that with you. Hope you are still peeking in. John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

SouthofBoston
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by SouthofBoston »

Everybody,

I am surprised by the amount of responses already. I took a lot from what you all said. I appreciate you taking the time to reply, so I will take the time to acknowledge and respond.

johnd: Thanks for the help and support. It means a lot.
becksdad, Jaywalker Steve, Patter, AlisonT, kenyal, Mike O: You are all right, I need to start giving back. Period.
MitchellK: You hit the nail on the head. We got sober to be happy, sometimes i feel like some meetings are cesspools of negativity. The actions we do outside of meetings are far more important. Maybe I should start volunteering for non-profits, etc
ann2: Sounds like you are in an AWESOME space spiritually. I am in a terrible one. I will get into more details below...
Marc L: I can really relate to your first post. What is the website? However, regarding your second and third posts, I wish there was a sarcasm font, then I would understand what your mean by your reply. Yeah I get the whole "SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP AA", I've had plenty of it and frankly, it does nothing for me. I'm not "offended" or any of that nonsense, I just would like to hear more rational arguments backed with facts than dog-commands and belittling. However, if you were being sarcastic, then my response is LOL.


To reiterate, you all make very good points. I think my course of action should be:

1. Start giving back, whether it be AA or volunteering. I've done lots of volunteer work in the past and i feel great afterwards

2. Develop some sort of relationship with a higher power. THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD. I was raised Catholic, went to church weekly, and have a huge grudge against organized religion and the Christian idea of God. I am a scientist by trade and consider myself fairly educated. This also does not bode well for belief in God. I really really REALLY want to believe but, to me, God is a human construct which we create to mentally defend us from our impending death and the eternal nothingness which follows. Has anyone else had Higher Power problems like this? I may create a new thread about this as well.

-SoB
Last edited by SouthofBoston on Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Lali
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by Lali »

Cool response, southofboston. I think we all get kinda bored at various times and just need a breath of fresh air, so to speak, in our programs. I'm certainly guilty of that. :D
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

becksdad
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by becksdad »

Hey SouthofBoston..... agreed, a cool response! There is something very nice to witmness when one of us is seeking something, and then seriously considers what they encounter during that search. I think it says that it truly is a search and not just a gripe. It is like there is a circuit completed, and now energy can flow unimpeded because we become like conduits. Maybe that is why it seems like together, we are a Power greater than any of us alone. Maybe one concept of Higher Power?

Anyway, glad you're here! I look forward to seeing more from you!

Thanks, Ed

P.S., Yeah, why don't you start that other thread? Could be interesting...

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ann2
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by ann2 »

SouthofBoston wrote:God is a human construct which we create
No argument from me!

And . . . ?

I like to take that idea a bit further :-)

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

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Marc L
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by Marc L »

SouthofBoston wrote:Everybody,

I am surprised by the amount of responses already. I took a lot from what you all said. I appreciate you taking the time to reply, so I will take the time to acknowledge and respond.

johnd: Thanks for the help and support. It means a lot.
becksdad, Jaywalker Steve, Patter, AlisonT, kenyal, Mike O: You are all right, I need to start giving back. Period.
MitchellK: You hit the nail on the head. We got sober to be happy, sometimes i feel like some meetings are cesspools of negativity. The actions we do outside of meetings are far more important. Maybe I should start volunteering for non-profits, etc
ann2: Sounds like you are in an AWESOME space spiritually. I am in a terrible one. I will get into more details below...
Marc L: I can really relate to your first post. What is the website? However, regarding your second and third posts, I wish there was a sarcasm font, then I would understand what your mean by your reply. Yeah I get the whole "SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP AA", I've had plenty of it and frankly, it does nothing for me. I'm not "offended" or any of that nonsense, I just would like to hear more rational arguments backed with facts than dog-commands and belittling. However, if you were being sarcastic, then my response is LOL.


To reiterate, you all make very good points. I think my course of action should be:

1. Start giving back, whether it be AA or volunteering. I've done lots of volunteer work in the past and i feel great afterwards

2. Develop some sort of relationship with a higher power. THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD. I was raised Catholic, went to church weekly, and have a huge grudge against organized religion and the Christian idea of God. I am a scientist by trade and consider myself fairly educated. This also does not bode well for belief in God. I really really REALLY want to believe but, to me, God is a human construct which we create to mentally defend us from our impending death and the eternal nothingness which follows. Has anyone else had Higher Power problems like this? I may create a new thread about this as well.

-SoB
The Site I have was built to share written StepWork with other Alcoholics.
If you have written work you would like to share with others then I'd be happy to take a look at it and post it with some of mine. :D

Marc
Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

deanpinsurreybc
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by deanpinsurreybc »

SouthofBoston wrote:Hello,

I am 29 years old and I have been sober for over 6 years, my life is great, however I am bored with AA. None of it is interesting. I spend all meetings playing on my phone. I'm not a social person so i don't start conversations at the outskirts of meetings. AA feels like it has "worn off" for me. I often speak at open discussion meetings but I avoid commitments because hate talking at them. I wouldn't mind sponsoring people, but the opportunity never comes around. I can't stand most young people because they are immature and rarely stay sober. I can't relate to most older people because they have kids and grew up in the 60s/70s. I just feel lost in a sea of sobriety.

Anyone feel this way before?
I think we all go through that type of thing - try some new meetings maybe?? Find some people that go out afterwards for coffee or pie and bs with them and "laugh and scratch" as we say! Always works for me! As for sponsorship - there is someone coming that only you can help - hope you are there the day they need you!

SouthofBoston
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by SouthofBoston »

Marc L wrote: The Site I have was built to share written StepWork with other Alcoholics.
If you have written work you would like to share with others then I'd be happy to take a look at it and post it with some of mine. :D

Marc
Hi Marc,

What is the site?

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PaigeB
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by PaigeB »

Marc will have to give you the site by private message.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Marc L
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by Marc L »

There is a PM waiting for him/her/it in my OutBox. All the SOB has to do is pull the Chain. :lol:

Marc
Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

joey
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by joey »

Meetings should be "part of your life" and not "your life".

If you are bored at meetings that is totally normal but it is upto to you to give back and in return hopefully get something out of it.

Your recovery is dependent on you and you alone. Others can/may help but staying sober is upto you.

We are all human beings who are trying to get better - just like you.

My first AA meeting gave me the belief that it actually was possible to get sober and for that I am eternally grateful. I have not touched a drink since 3rd August 2006.
Joey

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Marc L
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Re: 7 Year Itch

Post by Marc L »

PaigeB wrote:Marc will have to give you the site by private message.
The message has been sitting there gathering dust so I think I'll simply delete it since the individual does not appear to have any intention of following through with their request. Oh, well.


Marc
Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

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