I am taking it day by day, sometimes hour by hour and day by day or hour by hour I am finding back to life.
Today it has been a month.
An entire month of no alcohol, no substance abuse, no lies. I haven’t lied in a month, I did not have to hide anything for a month. I did not need to be scared of ‚the day after‘ and not once did I wake up in the middle of the night convinced that something terrible was gonna happen, that I was gonna die.
I still fear, but it is not that type of fear anymore. It is fear about my future, a future I did not know I had.
I had my fair share of ups and downs and there is plenty of work to be done but it seems a lot less scary than when I first admitted to being powerless over alcohol. Because I can finally allow myself to not be in control.
It is an overwhelming gift to allow myself to not be in charge, and that overwhelming sense of hope is what brightens up my darkest hours.
One of my first posts on this site went something like this: ‚I really want to go to a face to face meeting but I just can’t.‘
That day I learned that in fact, my thoughts are just that, thoughts. That lesson was one of the most important lessons I have learned so far – Thank you Tosh, for finding the words I needed to read!
I am grateful for every single one of you, for every reply and every new topic that is written on this site!
Thank you very much!
One Month.
One Month.
One day at a time.
-
Noels
Re: One Month.
Good morning Feeya 
well done! !!
Just keep going and very soon you'll look back and realise that 1 month have turned into 1 year there will still be difficult days where everything seems upside down but we now have the tools to get through those days without alcohol and other substances and it gets easier as we progress and release spiritually .
I find that these days where others create a problem which involves me by the time I get to that problem my Higher Power have already laid whatever I need to eliminate that problem before me. It's beautiful how the tools are already there. Ready and available. I just need to pick it up and use it.
My morning prayer now goes something like this : Dear Father thank you for your protection during the night and for another day. Please walk before me in this day and help me to follow in your path. Prepare anything that lies ahead so that it's already cleared when I get to that point. Help me to be willing to do your will in this day. Help me to put ego behind so that you can shine your light through me. Thank you Father for your love, your protection, wisdom and guidance. Thank you Father. Your will be done not mine. '
Love and light
Noels xxxx
well done! !!Just keep going and very soon you'll look back and realise that 1 month have turned into 1 year
there will still be difficult days where everything seems upside down but we now have the tools to get through those days without alcohol and other substances and it gets easier as we progress and release spiritually .I find that these days where others create a problem which involves me by the time I get to that problem my Higher Power have already laid whatever I need to eliminate that problem before me. It's beautiful how the tools are already there. Ready and available. I just need to pick it up and use it.
My morning prayer now goes something like this : Dear Father thank you for your protection during the night and for another day. Please walk before me in this day and help me to follow in your path. Prepare anything that lies ahead so that it's already cleared when I get to that point. Help me to be willing to do your will in this day. Help me to put ego behind so that you can shine your light through me. Thank you Father for your love, your protection, wisdom and guidance. Thank you Father. Your will be done not mine. '
Love and light
Noels xxxx
Re: One Month.
CONGRATULATIONS FEEYA!! One month is HUGE!!!!
Really so very happy you are here
Ann
Really so very happy you are here
Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
Re: One Month.
Congratulations Feeya! I remember when 1 hour seemed like an eternity, keep going and "you will be amazed before you are half way there!" It does keep getting better, I am happy for you!
Hanna
The Promises
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity.
We will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
The feelings of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.
Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
“Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are beingfulfilled among
us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them.”
From the A. A. Big Book, pg 83 & 84
The Twelve Rewards
Hope instead of desperation.
Faith instead of despair.
Courage instead of fear.
Peace of mind instead of confusion.
Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt.
A clean conscience instead of a sense of guilt.
Real friendships instead of loneliness.
A clean pattern of life instead of a purposeless existence.
The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears.
The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession
Originally by Ann C. (sober April 1, 1948) of Niles, Ohio and presented at
the 1985 International Convention in Montreal, Canada
Hanna
The Promises
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity.
We will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
The feelings of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.
Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
“Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are beingfulfilled among
us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them.”
From the A. A. Big Book, pg 83 & 84
The Twelve Rewards
Hope instead of desperation.
Faith instead of despair.
Courage instead of fear.
Peace of mind instead of confusion.
Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt.
A clean conscience instead of a sense of guilt.
Real friendships instead of loneliness.
A clean pattern of life instead of a purposeless existence.
The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears.
The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession
Originally by Ann C. (sober April 1, 1948) of Niles, Ohio and presented at
the 1985 International Convention in Montreal, Canada
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace
-
Layne
- Forums Old Timer
- Posts: 1625
- Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 7:20 am
- Location: British Virgin Islands
Re: One Month.
Congratulations and thank you for sharing the news. It is a wonderful reminder that the program works if we work for it. It also gave me the opportunity to take a grateful glimpse in my own rear view mirror. Damn I love this program!
-
Spirit Flower
- Forums Old Timer
- Posts: 1434
- Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:49 am
- Location: Texas
Re: One Month.
Congrats Feeya, it has been wonderful walking with you in eAA.
At our club, we give out a "bloody" red chip for 30 days. So here>>>>>
At our club, we give out a "bloody" red chip for 30 days. So here>>>>>
...a score card reading zero...
Re: One Month.
What great news Feeya! One month! That is a long time for a drunk to go without a drink. Newcomers NEED to know how you made it such a long time! Be honest with them. And keep your hands and feet ACTIVE in this program. 
I have seen enough people go back to drinking after some sober time. Most die or go to jail. Some make it back, many of those repeat the experiment again and again. I know that I don't have it in me to get sober again and that is scary because I am the one who will disappear and drink at home alone, chasing off everyone that cares and I will die alone of a ugly and prolonged liver death.
Sorry to go all dark on your happy post. But you already know this is Life or Death. No in between ~
No half measures.... I am glad you chose LIFE.
I have seen enough people go back to drinking after some sober time. Most die or go to jail. Some make it back, many of those repeat the experiment again and again. I know that I don't have it in me to get sober again and that is scary because I am the one who will disappear and drink at home alone, chasing off everyone that cares and I will die alone of a ugly and prolonged liver death.
Sorry to go all dark on your happy post. But you already know this is Life or Death. No in between ~
No half measures.... I am glad you chose LIFE.
Step 6 is "AA's way of stating, the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job... with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement." 12&12 Step Six, p.65
Re: One Month.
Ditto what Paige posted. Soooooo glad you got that out of your system and came right back....
Congratulations on 30 days, Feeya!
Congratulations on 30 days, Feeya!
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Re: One Month.
Congrats on 30 days, Feeya. That's awesome!
Re: One Month.
Congratulations on 30+ days! Way to go!
Re: One Month.
Congratulations me too today has been 30 days
Re: One Month.
CONGRATS! Sorry I am late posting this... Keep coming back and let us know how it is going!
Step 6 is "AA's way of stating, the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job... with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement." 12&12 Step Six, p.65